Hot answers tagged

335 votes

How to ask cashier out for date

There joined a new cashier in my local food product market. My Question is how can I ask for her number, or ask her out for a coffe while she is only sitting at the cash point? I would strongly ...
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251 votes

How to avoid being seen as a cash cow by my family?

I'm very sorry but your loans are in fact gifts. What you describe is actually you filling the gap in their spending pattern. That gap will not close, ever. Consecutive 'loans' without mention of ...
  • 4,739
202 votes

How to tell girlfriend I don't want to meet without hurting her feelings?

Having been here before myself, I think you need to realize what this means for your relationship. You don't feel able to relax and have you-time with her around. This is probably because you place a ...
  • 1,902
154 votes

How to ask cashier out for date

I find the other answers very unusual, which illustrates there must be some kind of cultural difference at play. Where I grew up (the UK) it is completely normal, typical and acceptable to engage in ...
  • 1,726
146 votes

Coworker scans my body. How to best tell him to stop?

In these situations you want to put people on the spot without setting them on fire (because being too confrontational in the workplace can be an issue). Next time you see him doing this, I'd say: &...
  • 22.7k
131 votes

How to avoid being seen as a cash cow by my family?

This reminds me of a short story in Mandarin, roughly translated as such: A guy always gave a handout to a beggar near his home. When he was single, he gave five dollars. After he married, he gave ...
  • 2,735
129 votes

Dealing with / extricating yourself from having to listen to a superior's xenophobic rants

Something that worked for me, when I was working in construction, was to subtly redirect the rant. It was effective against a wide variety of divisive rants and it has helped me survive a number of US ...
  • 54.7k
124 votes

How do I avoid strange questions because of a flag?

You know, I'd like to quote the British comedian Stewart Lee on this, because there is many a true word spoken in jest. By way of a disclaimer, the subject of this comedy routine is absolutely not the ...
  • 27k
105 votes

Apologizing when you've hurt a stranger's feelings badly

Since you want to apologize, it's very simple. You can go ahead and start a conversation, not loud, and say like, I apologize for what I said. I already have an injured leg and when you stepped on my ...
  • 7,764
102 votes

My grandmother doesn't talk or communicate any more. How can I be good company to her?

Try to get someone to explain to you her ability to hear (she should have had her hearing tested), her ability to respond, etc. Ask if some of this is depression. Someone should explain this to you. ...
93 votes

How to avoid a very talkative cleaning lady?

Just say what you said in your question, Sorry, I can't talk right now. I need to get the bus/train/metro to work, have a good day though. This is not only polite by wishing her a good day (...
92 votes

How to ask cashier out for date

You could do it this way; One thing you could do, since you go often to that store, is: start building a basic "relationship" with the cashier. Meaning; talking to her each time you go shopping, ...
  • 1,378
86 votes

How to ask cashier out for date

Don't. Being friendly is literally part of their job description. There's no way to know whether the "signs" you are picking up on are actually signals and not them just doing their job. Ask ...
  • 8,414
86 votes

How can I tell my wife that her fears and mistrust are hurting us?

This does sound like a case for couples' therapy, or single therapy for her with some joint session, because her trust has been deeply broken before. Think about it: The man she loved cheated on her, ...
  • 928
81 votes

Refusing free goods as a blind person

Note that I am not experienced with blindness, but the generic solution to getting offered something that you don't feel like accepting seems applicable here. This answer has been extensively tested ...
70 votes

How to say no to an extremely pushy friend

I have been told I tend to be a bit passive aggressive when dealing with those kinds of situations, but I like to mask it with a bit of humor. In your position I would reply something like: 我不会来 ...
  • 5,125
69 votes

How do you deal with someone who's pushing you without explaining yourself?

What works for me with the food pushing relatives is: Saying something like "I'm sure it's delicious / That looks nice - but I don't want any at the moment" the first time. This should make it clear ...
67 votes

How to avoid being seen as a cash cow by my family?

It's possible that your family will see you as a "cash cow" until your udders go dry (when you buy your house and go into some debt yourself, or have other financial responsibilities, like children.) ...
66 votes

How to behave at a work organized drinking event as a non drinker?

Just some hints. Chat with an old-timer to get stories of past events. This should give you a rough idea what to expect. Volunteer to help with organising, especially during the event. This will give ...
  • 4,739
65 votes

How do I get my boyfriend to remove pictures of his ex girlfriend hanging in his apartment?

One thing I have learned is that it is generally better to assume ignorance or stupidity over malevolence. I think there are two things I haven't seen in the other answers yet that I would try first:...
61 votes

Apologizing when you've hurt a stranger's feelings badly

I'm late to this question, but I'd like to take a stab at it. What you said and did was so painful that I don't think a simple apology and explanation will "make amends". I am an apology freak, if ...
61 votes

How do I avoid strange questions because of a flag?

There are two answers, one for each of the paths that you ask about: Avoid questions by either removing the flag or putting it in context. The context could be other countries you like, or stickers ...
  • 7,026
56 votes

How do I avoid strange questions because of a flag?

If this is the only flag on your backpack, one answer could be to add some flags for other Countries you like or have been to. Considering the current geo-political situation, having only one flag (...
  • 691
55 votes

How to stop people from touching me without having to freak out at them

I had similar problems for a long time. In college some of my friends thought my reactions were hilarious and would do the same "time for a group hug!!" things. The last major incident I recall was ...
  • 13.6k
52 votes

How to tell a colleague to take care of how he looks

Edit 2: Thorsten S. Has mentioned that German culture is different. I will note that my response may be more applicable to most Canadian (in my experience) business/services/companies. If the ...
  • 1,990
51 votes

How to tell a colleague to take care of how he looks

There are two points here. First, if you are concerned because of impact on the company, for example because clients react badly to him, then this is a workplace issue. Your boss should take care of ...
50 votes

A server in a restaurant got offended when we addressed him as "Uncle"

This might be an unlucky coincidence - in German, young people sometimes also refer to older male persons as "Onkel", but it would mean something like "dude" (informal!). If you, as a stranger, would ...
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