Podcast #128: We chat with Kent C Dodds about why he loves React and discuss what life was like in the dark days before Git. Listen now.

Hot answers tagged

165

This incident should really tell you everything you need to know about your friend. I mean .. he "stole" the grinder from someone else to begin with. And then he "stole" it back from you, further taking advantage of you by swapping out the used parts with your new ones in the process. It really looks like this guy is only watching out for number one: ...


148

In my personal opinion it doesn't look like a gift. She said you can keep it, not it's yours. It looks more like a long term loan. The proof is also given from the fact that she said "bring MY camera". You can ask her: do you think I can have it back? Or should I buy a new one? If you are really interested in this friendship, even if it doesn't look ...


101

Is there any way I can convince my girlfriend that she should not worry about the gifts I give her? Or should I accept that it makes her feel uneasy and stop giving her gifts? You noted also Money has always been a problem for her and her family. So she probably learned to be careful handling money and to rather think twice, before spending money. ...


96

Don't give the tickets, give an invitation to go to the concert together. That way you will be making it clear what your gift is: attending the concert with you. Also, this leaves you still holding the tickets. One caveat here is that this should not make her uncomfortable. If you're romantically interested in her and this gift is actually a date in ...


90

I once had the same issue with an online friend. Since I have anxiety, I was very afraid that the person might react badly to me giving them a gift (feeling embarrassed and awkward). To resolve this, I simply decided to "warn" them beforehand and ask them if there was okay with me giving them a gift. In this case, the other person was absolutely fine and ...


78

Personally I think you are overthinking it. I have never given flowers and had them unappreciated. All those reasons you gave for giving flowers are good ones. I don't see how following feminism would make you have to dislike flowers. If you are worried, maybe give a house plant instead? This has less historic connotations than a bunch of flowers and ...


72

In this situation, you have a person who: Steals from one friend Uses another friend to cover it up Reneges on a "gift" when it is convenient for him Rearranges the situation to suit himself This is a self-centered individual, with some bullying tendencies. A relationship like this will always be one sided, tilted in his favor. The only time he will do ...


71

Did you marry my first GF? She always expected me read her mind, and then got pissed when it didn't happen. I was stumped at first, but quickly learned how to deal with her. Also I'm gonna have to agree with "masked man" and "polygnome", might change my mind if you add more information, but I doubt it. Let's review the evidence: My wife never gives any ...


66

In this case a simple... How was the restaurant? ... should work. Without saying which restaurant, if they haven't opened the box they'll be a little confused and ask "which restaurant?" At which point you can laugh and mention the gift card in the cocoa. If they seem embarrassed or anything, just laugh it off thank them again and tell them that you ...


63

There's nothing inherently wrong or awkward in asking Jane directly whether the camera was a gift or not. However, as you yourself point out, it could be very awkward depending on the person you ask. If you don't feel comfortable asking Jane directly, you could answer something like Sure thing! It was a great gift by the way, it was exactly what I needed ...


56

Write a kind letter, expressing appreciation for the gift. It is very thoughtful of your grandfather to try to eliminate some of the hassles involved in the distribution of his estate after he passes. You can at least say that much (just the thoughtful part, not why) truthfully. In the US, a thank you note is not considered enough if all it says is "thank ...


53

Have your friends bring only modest cards to wish you well. I have a friend (USA) who threw her own birthday party, and invited all her friends. She too said "no gifts", but she mentioned that she treasures cards that show people's feelings and has their names on them. She indeed treasured them and displayed them for quite some time. She received no gifts. ...


53

I'd suggest something similar to @Ælis' answer. However, I'd phrase it like: You: I'm going to be in London for the big Poké event! Her: Omgggg. Really? ... (Poké discussion here) You: While I'm there, I'm planning to get trinkets for a bunch of my friends. Would you want me to get you one too? Similar to Ælis, this focuses on asking ...


47

This is very difficult to answer since you don't know about the person who returned your phone. Some people just like to help without expecting anything, so a thank you note is sufficient for them. You can also do something that is helpful for them without asking them. Though it totally depends on you what you do. As far as it is about monetary reward, ...


44

It's not clear from your question whether the estrangement is mutual, but either way, you've confused matters by leaving the gift for her. When there are issues between people, even without a full-on estrangement, a gift is often seen as sending a peace offering. She either was going to get you a gift anyway or responded to your peace offering by ...


44

How do I clarify that the camera is mine [...]? You don't, assuming you want to remain friends with Jane. You needed a camera. Jane gave you a camera she didn't think she needed any more, as a favour, and told you to keep it. Jane has now realised that she does still need it. The important thing to realise is that it wasn't a "gift" as such. When it's ...


37

Giving money is hard for some people, 10 bucks can look like a lot less than a box full of towels from the dollar store that maybe cost you 5 bucks. Bringing nothing is even harder for some people. They realise you are providing them with food and entertainment and they want to repay you. I think you can totally encourage supporting charities and pleasing ...


36

Ask for consumables, e.g., food. Food will only clutter up your life until it is eaten. You note that your calendar is pretty full, so experiences don't help. However, I assume that even with a full calendar, you will still find the time for eating. And getting some interesting ethnic foodstuffs or bottles of wine you don't know yet might in fact be an ...


34

Would the other person be waiting for some type of monetary retribution? That's difficult to say, since the other person is unknown to you. It may very well be the other person is just acting out of kindness, and not expecting a reward at all. On the other hand, you stated your concern about the stranger having made some costs by traveling to the public ...


32

When you grow up with financial insecurity you learn certain attitudes and habits. It's likely been drilled into her to not spend "frivolously". Things like presents and games fall into this category of non-essential expenses. Since she is planning to stay at home and rely entirely on your income, how you spend your money is now her concern (after all, it ...


31

How can I decline a friend's continuous acts of generosity without being rude or ungrateful? I would suggest you say something like: "Thank you for the kind offer, but I cannot accept this item for free. I feel very guilty about doing that as I am concerned it may affect our friendship. How much is it again?" As far as accepting a discount, I don't ...


30

This: Remember, asking isn’t enough as she genuinely doesn’t know herself what she wants. We had a row, and I asked her to give examples of the kind of thing she would have liked to do, and she came up with nothing. Suggests to me that you might be reading the situation wrong. After all, it's not often that someone is so satisfied with things that they ...


28

Response to Edited Question. When you say Compared to the other participants, the giver would have had to spend more, in terms of percentage, of in-game money he currently has. (think, beggar offering 5 coins vs rich man offering 5 coins kind of thing) For most of us who have been playing a while already, the budget is an affordable sum. It leads me to ...


28

Sometimes Lila would offer me something I wanted to buy for free, to which I awkwardly insisted in paying full price. Sometimes Mark would offer me a product with a discount, which I would often just end up accepting, to avoid any embarrassment. For me, addressing behaviors while they aren't actually happening is often easier than having a good talk about ...


28

It's delicate, but I'd roughly say the following. I've got two tickets to see this band, want to have one? Don't worry about the price, consider it a late birthday present. We can try grab a third ticket if {boyfriend's name here} wants to join in. This does the following: Explains you are offering only one. Mentions it's a gift, even dealing with the ...


26

I'd rather pay full-price for the things I get there, since it is still a business and I feel like I shouldn't have privileges over other clients, not to mention I can't help but think of how these discounts might sum up at the end of the month on their profits. This is just it. You can say exactly this. I want to support you guys and your business. Your ...


24

You buy her a gift which I’m sure you expect her to take and want but want her to know you don’t want her in your life and don’t want her gifts! You say she takes weeks to respond to text messages... but you don’t respond at all! Sorry to be harsh, but without knowing the rest of the story, it sounds like youre the one who only has her in your life for ...


24

This is not a date, we would go as friends. I'm sure she won't reject my invitation (as we been to concert before). She does have a boyfriend, so she might think the tickets are for the two of them. since you've edited to add this information, I think it is fair to update my answer to take this into consideration. My suggestion is to give her one ...


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