102
votes
Accepted
My grandmother doesn't talk or communicate any more. How can I be good company to her?
Try to get someone to explain to you her ability to hear (she should have had her hearing tested), her ability to respond, etc. Ask if some of this is depression. Someone should explain this to you. ...
- 24.8k
80
votes
Accepted
How to tell my Mom that I don't care about someone without upsetting her?
Once I went to the funeral of a distant relative of my young nephew, he asked me why I went to the funeral, because I did not even know the person who died. My answer was simple:
I came for you, ...
- 1,342
63
votes
Accepted
Parent asked grandparents to take the grandkids out of the will
...its kind of like my mom is taking a gift from my grandma to me and saying I don't deserve it.
I understand your point. I sympathize and know how you feel. I also understand your mother's point of ...
- 24.8k
56
votes
Received a large monetary gift from an estranged grandparent - now what?
Write a kind letter, expressing appreciation for the gift.
It is very thoughtful of your grandfather to try to eliminate some of the hassles involved in the distribution of his estate after he passes....
- 24.8k
53
votes
How do I tell my stepson and his wife that I don't want to babysit their son overnight right now, after losing my mother, without coming off badly?
Saying "no" doesn't automatically make you sound bad or selfish. If you are a people pleaser, or if you have been taught that it's not "nice" to refuse requests, it may well make you feel that you ...
- 24.8k
37
votes
How to tell my Mom that I don't care about someone without upsetting her?
To address your question directly:
How can I tell my Mom that I don't care about her mother without upsetting her?
You can't. You cannot expect to tell a relative that you do not care about a ...
- 923
26
votes
My grandmother doesn't talk or communicate any more. How can I be good company to her?
It sounds like you're doing things right. My grandmother was in a similar state, towards the end, when she was still with us. We would visit; tell her about the family, her grandchild, and great-...
- 54.8k
25
votes
Accepted
Sick grandparent(s) moved in and are now inciting anger and stress
This answer is highly dependent on you. Your schedule, your life, what you do, how much are you around the family in any given day; you could be an excellent shield here and that won't be possible if ...
- 4,407
24
votes
How do I reveal to my father that his father is not his biological father?
People tend to leap to "infidelity" to explain this sort of situation, and it's certainly a common reason, but there are several other reasons why a woman might have a child whose DNA doesn'...
23
votes
How do I reveal to my father that his father is not his biological father?
The earlier answer by @Geoffrey Brent is technically absolutely correct. May I only add from the interpersonal aspect (pardon my being so frank, but the situation calls for it) that it would be highly ...
- 10.5k
21
votes
How to talk to family member about their spending?
I don't think your motives are in doubt here. If you were trying to stop them spending their money so you can inherit it at a later date you wouldn't be so keen for them to go caravanning. You have ...
- 27k
14
votes
My grandmother doesn't talk or communicate any more. How can I be good company to her?
Definitely you are helping just by being there. Not only are you helping her, you are sending a strong message to the staff that someone cares about your grandmother and is looking out for her. ...
- 44.5k
14
votes
Parent asked grandparents to take the grandkids out of the will
You asked for perspective, here's a possible one. This might get cynical, I obviously don't know you or your family, and I don't want to be understood as mean or rude, I just want to point out what ...
- 241
13
votes
How to calm a panicking grandmother over the phone?
It's hard to be sure, but I think you're misunderstanding the help that is being asked for. You hear "come over and help grandfather get better, or help me decide if we should rush to the ...
- 44.5k
10
votes
How do I tell my stepson and his wife that I don't want to babysit their son overnight right now, after losing my mother, without coming off badly?
You're obviously not the only one around. If your husband wants to take the decision that baby stops over, he needs to take the responsibility to do the baby-sitting. The car will have to wait.
But ...
- 513
10
votes
How do I reveal to my father that his father is not his biological father?
There seems to be no way to tell him but the direct approach. Your grandmother's dementia makes it perhaps a bad idea to ask her. What about your mother - could you speak to her about it? Remember you ...
- 27k
9
votes
How to talk to family member about their spending?
For the part where you mention:
you'll hear things like "it's just a couple of Euros", apparently not realizing that this adds up if you order every other week.
The most objective way of showing ...
9
votes
How to calm a panicking grandmother over the phone?
First of all, remember that your grandmother is in a very, very scary situation. Her husband that she has loved and relied on for decades, is mysteriously ill. Being scared and panicked is normal ...
- 7,310
8
votes
How do I reveal to my father that his father is not his biological father?
I respect your decision to tell your father. Treating others as you would like to be treated is really the primary lesson from this stack exchange; I assume that if someone knew information about ...
- 169
8
votes
Parent asked grandparents to take the grandkids out of the will
Since what bothers you most is not the money, but your mother's actions, speak to her directly about that. I think you explained it to us very well: it feels like being punished for doing nothing ...
- 2,851
8
votes
Parent asked grandparents to take the grandkids out of the will
It's very natural to feel bothered by the situation. If I had to venture a guess, I would say that you probably feel betrayed, and disappointed.
Your mother is the person who should be most aware of ...
- 17.1k
8
votes
Sick grandparent(s) moved in and are now inciting anger and stress
I am coming from a different cultural background (US), but I was in a similar experience with my family. My paternal grandmother moved in with us (mom, dad, me) because of her failing health. Both of ...
- 807
7
votes
How do I reveal to my father that his father is not his biological father?
TL;DR
I'd suggest you talk around the subject first. See what your
dad wants. Tell him you're interested in family information you
might find thru DNA research. You could say, "Some of this ...
- 438
7
votes
How to tell my Mom that I don't care about someone without upsetting her?
Simple Answer: You Can't.
I agree with the advice given by Santiago and Dancrumb. It would not be productive to simply tell you're mother that you don't care about your grandmother, but it would be ...
- 171
7
votes
How can we convince grandmother to use the dishwasher?
Having been in the exact same situation, I'll shared my experience on the subject. Background is about the cleanliness level of china and silverware and integrity of the cold chain for food. Result ...
- 22k
6
votes
Parent asked grandparents to take the grandkids out of the will
How do I talk to my mom about the reason behind her actions and why she thinks what she thinks about my work ethic?
Well, start by stating your concerns, so that your mom knows why you're talking to ...
- 33.9k
Only top scored, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible