89 votes
Accepted

How do I respond when someone is glad their loved one's suffering will end soon due to death?

It's never easy to deal with the death of a loved one, even in these cases. The main difference in my experience is that the grieving process starts years earlier... My grandmother was in a similar ...
apaul's user avatar
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42 votes
Accepted

Is it appropriate to ask for the text of a eulogy?

I come from a family of artists - most of my aunts and siblings are either writers, drawers, painters and/or musicians. My mother is one of them and really is gifted when it comes to choosing the ...
avazula's user avatar
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41 votes

How do I respond when someone is glad their loved one's suffering will end soon due to death?

Chances are, if someone's loved one is suffering, they will appreciate sympathy regardless of whether they're looking for condolences. It sounds to me like what you want to do is react in a ...
RaceYouAnytime's user avatar
31 votes

Should I ask about a colleague's obvious problem, even when I don't care much?

An ill child is already a bit of a landmine; she may want to avoid the topic entirely. Other people are probably asking all the time, so you don't have to worry about her having no opportunity to ...
Gregory Avery-Weir's user avatar
19 votes

How to tell my GF I'm willing to listen her, but leaving her the option to say no?

How can I tell her that I´m willing to listen to her if she wants to talk? You've already done something very important : "All I could come up with was hug her and kiss her." You showed her you care. ...
OldPadawan's user avatar
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18 votes

How do I respond when someone is glad their loved one's suffering will end soon due to death?

For many reasons stated elsewhere in this thread (it's best to follow the grieving person's lead, while offering any support you can), I would keep it simple. That should help you avoid accidentally ...
WeaselADAPT's user avatar
17 votes
Accepted

How can I help someone over the loss of their dog?

Pet owners often have a very close emotional relationship with their pet. There might be people for whom it's "just a dog". But there are also people on which the loss of a beloved pet has almost as ...
Philipp's user avatar
  • 1,779
17 votes

How can I help someone over the loss of their dog?

I've been through this myself, with my own dogs (twice) and my former sister-in-law (SIL)'s dogs. I was the one who accompanied her and offered support. It's tough for both. Give her time and love: ...
OldPadawan's user avatar
  • 22.1k
16 votes

How do express my condolences, when I couldn't show up at the funeral?

Write a letter and send it via good old fashioned Snail Mail. I have experienced a similar situation in which my aunt passed and the funeral was in the Midwest and I lived in New England (United ...
james's user avatar
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15 votes
Accepted

Appropriate reactions to people who recently lost their pet?

There are a couple of things you can say like Your pet was lucky to have you. This is how you can remind them that how great they were at taking care of their pet. This might help them get over ...
A J's user avatar
  • 7,700
14 votes

How to handle emotional expectation about an animals death, I do not fulfill?

I've gone through this "from the other side" as the person who was very, very attached to my dog. My fiance liked my dog, but wasn't nearly as attached. I understand where your girlfriend is coming ...
DaveG's user avatar
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14 votes
Accepted

How to decline attending a funeral

Personally, I think that this is a sign of a much larger problem in your life that should be dealt with. I have a relative who decided that, for him/her to heal, he/she needed to cut the family out ...
baldPrussian's user avatar
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11 votes

How to act with a grieving person at a party?

Everybody who grieves does so differently. There is no certain set of words that can bring comfort to everyone. One thing that a lot of bereaved persons say is that they wish others talked about the ...
Astralbee's user avatar
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11 votes
Accepted

Conveying wishes that someone's death was peaceful

Trigger warning: physical and emotional pain due to illness and death of relatives You say you'd like to convey wishes of a peaceful death not when addressing your condolences to your friend's ...
avazula's user avatar
  • 14.3k
9 votes

Should I ask about a colleague's obvious problem, even when I don't care much?

That she had to stop working for multiple months in order to care for a sick child shows that their child's illness was severe. To be frank, in Western cultures if you have any ongoing relationship ...
curiousdannii's user avatar
9 votes

Appropriate reactions to people who recently lost their pet?

You can say "I'm sorry for your loss." You do not fake any feelings you don't have. You don't have to feel sorry for the pet passing away, if you just don't. But the fact that you feel the need ...
SQB's user avatar
  • 4,962
8 votes
Accepted

How do I talk to my partner who is still grieving her ex who committed suicide?

tl;dr My answer got a bit long, and is primarily focused on some of the more generic skills for having difficult conversations. Since Avazula provided an excellent answer with some very specific ...
Rainbacon's user avatar
  • 9,012
6 votes

How to ask if someone has suffered a bereavement?

This is most certainly a case where easing into it is preferred. The subject of a loss can be very touchy for some, whether or not it is the reason they were away from work. I can personally testify ...
Jesse's user avatar
  • 7,115
6 votes

How to act with a grieving person at a party?

From the perspective of a grieving person: I can only tell you how a grieving person feels being surrounded by happy people. For my part i suffered really hard for 3-4 months after my fathers death, ...
hopsinat's user avatar
  • 869
6 votes

How to act with a grieving person at a party?

I agree with Astralbee's mention that everyone grieves differently. There is no surefire way to correctly approach every grieving person. It may have been inevitable that she was going to respond the ...
Flater's user avatar
  • 6,366
6 votes

What to do when a friend's close relative dies?

As teenagers, dealing with loss is incredibly hard. You may have experienced the loss of a pet, but it doesn't compare to losing a grandparent. So you don't really have any experience dealing with ...
baldPrussian's user avatar
  • 32.4k
6 votes
Accepted

What can I do to comfort an online friend who’s sibling just died?

Comforting someone while not in their physical proximity can be hard. But it seems that you have a strong desire to be a support to your friend, which is what true friendship is made of. I would ...
Zoe Howlett's user avatar
6 votes

How do I talk to my partner who is still grieving her ex who committed suicide?

I, sadly, have a very dear friend of mine who encountered a very similar situation to what your girlfriend is currently experiencing. My friend lost her best friend to suicide about 18 months ago and ...
avazula's user avatar
  • 14.3k
6 votes

How to decline attending a funeral

(My answer is quite along the line of @baldPrussian's answer, consider this an addendum) Stop arguing, and start saying Is a sentence I use a lot. I work a lot with group and team dynamics at work, ...
Stian's user avatar
  • 1,594

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