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64 votes

How to politely reject inviting a friend to my family's Thanksgiving dinner?

He asked you for an invitation that wasn't yours to give. You're not the host, you're not the one who prepared the food, and you're not the one who will be inconvenienced by a last-minute guest. ...
Monica Cellio's user avatar
59 votes
Accepted

How do I tell my parents "I don't want to go to church" over the holidays?

You're mixing a health argument with an "I don't like it" argument. The latter is unwinnable right now, and by combining them you invite your parents to think "oh, he doesn't want to and we've had ...
Monica Cellio's user avatar
40 votes

How to respond to questions at family holiday gatherings without making the asker uncomfortable about my sexuality?

In my experience, people typically ask for two reasons: They're being nosey They're ready to talk about it, or they at least want to try My mother flat out expressed to me that she never wanted to ...
Jess K.'s user avatar
  • 22.7k
36 votes

How do I tell my parents "I don't want to go to church" over the holidays?

Your question is really the wrong question to ask. Your question shouldn't be "How do I tell my parents I don't want to go to church", your question should be "How do I tell my parents I'm not going ...
gnasher729's user avatar
  • 6,235
32 votes

How do I tell my parents "I don't want to go to church" over the holidays?

Traditions have a way of almost becoming law in families. Take, for instance, your visiting them over the holidays (which I infer from your comments above). Why? What do you get out of it? I ...
baldPrussian's user avatar
  • 32.4k
25 votes

How do I tell my parents "I don't want to go to church" over the holidays?

Very sorry you are going through this. You are way beyond the age where it is anywhere near OK for your parents to control the way you spend your holidays, to force their religious values onto you, ...
Thomas Carlisle's user avatar
22 votes

How to respond to questions at family holiday gatherings without making the asker uncomfortable about my sexuality?

I think you've answered your own question It ends up feeling a bit like being caught between a rock and a hard place. Be honest and risk a family meltdown, or lie and not have a real relationship ...
Flater's user avatar
  • 6,376
16 votes

How do I tell my parents "I don't want to go to church" over the holidays?

Solution For future incidents, there's an obvious option people are not mentioning (despite almost doing so): Simply don't go back in Christmas and Easter anymore. Go some other time. Other answers ...
user541686's user avatar
  • 2,255
16 votes
Accepted

What's the etiquette for addressing a friend's partner or family in a greeting card?

I've been sending cards for over 30 years now and have yet to have anyone be angry with how I do it (except my wife for making her help...) so perhaps I can give some perspective. You're sending cards ...
baldPrussian's user avatar
  • 32.4k
15 votes

How do I tell my parents "I don't want to go to church" over the holidays?

As someone who isn't religious but has been guilt-tripped into going to church or celebrating the way others wanted me to in the past, and as someone who has dated two guys who were atheists, I want ...
Tycho's Nose's user avatar
  • 7,496
12 votes

For how long after New Year's Day is it appropriate to wish people all the best for the new year?

This answer is based upon the etiquette I've been taught and always heard since childhood. Its rule have been followed for decades by people I know/met, and I've seen it used in Western Europe ...
OldPadawan's user avatar
  • 22.2k
10 votes

How to communicate to strangers that we don't want our children to believe in Santa Claus when they ask them?

Your kids are pretty small, but - as a parent of an 15-month-old and a friend to someone who regularly posts "Stuff my toddler says" quotes on Instagram - I'm constantly surprised at how kids are able ...
Catija's user avatar
  • 14.2k
9 votes

What's the etiquette for addressing a friend's partner or family in a greeting card?

If you are sending the card to their home, inside mention everyone who lives in the home. That includes not only their partner but their children if you know of them. You don't have to write a ...
Kate Gregory's user avatar
  • 44.8k
8 votes
Accepted

For how long after New Year's Day is it appropriate to wish people all the best for the new year?

There's no fixed standard for it; it depends on the people and their own preference. This website (in Dutch) identifies 3 different moments. The lower bound seems to be January 6th (the celebration ...
Erik's user avatar
  • 7,274
8 votes

How do I prevent an absent minded friend from inviting himself to stay with me every year?

It really does sound like this friend is a bit of a freeloader and quite inconsiderate. My initial reaction and the suggestion that I am going to give may seem to be a bit direct, but I believe that ...
Zoe Howlett's user avatar
8 votes

How to politely reject inviting a friend to my family's Thanksgiving dinner?

"I'm sorry; that's not going to work." People get so worked up about how to handle saying "no". There's no additional explanation necessary. Just apologize and say it won't work. If the friend ...
baldPrussian's user avatar
  • 32.4k
6 votes

How do I tell my parents "I don't want to go to church" over the holidays?

How do I go about telling my parents in no uncertain terms "Traditions be damned, I absolutely refuse to go" for the above reasons without getting into a "But this is tradition!" ...
Adam Davis's user avatar
  • 3,266
6 votes
Accepted

How to let my kids believe in Santa Claus without lying to them?

You have given the answer to your question by yourself: I want them to enjoy the anticipation and mystery of Christmas Christmas is a mystery! In general: You do not need to have an answer to ...
Allerleirauh's user avatar
6 votes

Tactfully declining a family Thanksgiving invitation

First, be sure you want to decline the invitation You're asking about how to decline the invitation - I'm not sure there is no middle ground where you can attend and the event can be altered in a way ...
Benjamin Gruenbaum's user avatar
5 votes

How do I tell my parents "I don't want to go to church" over the holidays?

Atheist Aspie with some very religious Catholic relatives, so I can relate to some of this! If it was just a matter of "church does nothing for me", I'd say that this is one of the things you might ...
G_B's user avatar
  • 989
5 votes

How do I tell my parents "I don't want to go to church" over the holidays?

I love the avatar, especially in the context of this question. I wish that I had a good answer for this issue, and I pray that someone else with better ideas answers this as well. But if they ...
PolyPixiePaladin's user avatar
4 votes

How do I tell my parents "I don't want to go to church" over the holidays?

Im from the UK and not religious, so it's a bit different from being in the US, but something I have yet to see anyone answer is talk to the Priest. I have met many religious people in my life and ...
Skeith's user avatar
  • 141
4 votes

How do I tell my parents "I don't want to go to church" over the holidays?

There is no replacement for standing your ground. You perceive your parents as overwhelming forces because you couldn't do this successfully, so far. It can be difficult. If you have someone of ...
Tom's user avatar
  • 7,045
4 votes

For how long after New Year's Day is it appropriate to wish people all the best for the new year?

When I was a child I was forced to write greeting cards to my old relatives to wish them a happy New Year. I really disliked the thing all in all so I would postpone for as long as I could. My parents ...
avazula's user avatar
  • 14.3k
3 votes

How do I tell my parents "I don't want to go to church" over the holidays?

On the day you will be expected to go, leave the house 4 or 5 hours in advance—or as early in the morning as needed to avoid anyone seeing you, or as early as needed to avoid arguments. Leave a note: "...
Sojourner's user avatar
  • 837
2 votes

How to communicate to strangers that we don't want our children to believe in Santa Claus when they ask them?

We have gone through this exact situation as well. And you are correct in your concern that some people will think you are depriving your children. The Answer We usually answer it simply and thusly: ...
Aaron's user avatar
  • 461
2 votes

How to respond to questions at family holiday gatherings without making the asker uncomfortable about my sexuality?

I'm not sure if my answer falls under a "large-scale coming out" or not, but here's what I have: I'd engage people on a one-on-one basis out of earshot of others - probably contacting them ...
PolyPixiePaladin's user avatar
2 votes

How to politely reject inviting a friend to my family's Thanksgiving dinner?

Don't say "Yes" if you don't mean it, that the most important thing here, probably. If you don't have a thing to say right away and you don't want to give a flat "No" for whatever reason, say that ...
Maxim's user avatar
  • 3,071

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