64

If you don't want to discourage someone sharing an article, but you want to point out that it's a hoax, you should: Start by saying something positive about the article or thank the person for sharing it Express some regret (e.g. "unfortunately") that it's a hoax Share a link providing evidence of it being a hoax (Optionally) point out what made you think ...


57

My point of view is a mix of one time rebellious youth and then a parent's point of view.... Your parents will always be your parents, and parenting doesn't end when you come of age. To some degree they're likely to always want what's best for you and sometimes push you toward what they think is "best." If you're in your twenties and still live at home, ...


27

This has actually been a pretty big problem in the US over the last few years... People see something they really like or really hate and share it. It happens so much that many people have trouble spotting "fake news" or hoaxes. One of my cousins majored in journalism in college, she got up on her soapbox one night and spelled it out for the family. ...


17

I remember, as a Westerner, listening to a radio show about dealing with an elderly, dying relative in China, and thinking about how very, very foreign it all was to me. Please know that I speak only as a well-meaning outsider, not as someone with knowledge of your culture. The only reason I feel able to comment at all is because that floundering loss -- ...


13

The following advice applies to just about any culture, but it is particularly good for an Asian culture because of its strong family orientation. (I am Asian American.) Basically, you and others are "taking turns" watching over grandmother (if I understand the question correctly). So just meet with the others (hopefully) beforehand and ask, "What should ...


12

In my experience, people tell other people the reasons for disagreeing because they believe the other person still gets a vote. If a complete stranger came to you and said "stop jiggling your foot like that!" (maybe on the bus, or sitting in a coffee shop) would you explain to them why you like to do it? Or would you just kind of smile? When you choose to ...


11

I've been dealing with these issues for my (90-something) parents. The most important, and necessary thing (which you have been supplying), is your presence. That is more important than words. People of that age will get to a point where words often don't mean all that much to them. What they can sense, more than words, is presence. And that "presence" ...


11

I used to run some work meetings and attended many others that were run by other departments as well. We had many types, but all fell into the 2 categories you described, some were what we called "round table" which meant more of a brainstorming or discussion session, others had formal agendas. You could be more sensitive in wording. Instead of pointing ...


11

In my opinion "forcing" someone to participate is not the right thing to do. Someone who isn't "contributing" may be taking it all in, mentally summing up, and just waiting for the right time to launch their bolt into the blue. Or they may not have anything to say, in which case you're just embarrassing them. Or they may have been invited to a meeting ...


10

When you don't know anything about a person, you have a conversation with them by asking them things: How many people work for you? How long have you been in the police force? What is it like being a police chief? What is the best thing about your job? Or if you prefer, you can ask more personal questions: Do you live near here? I visited X recently, have ...


10

You can't force them to do what they don't want to do. What you can do is make yourself available for when they are interested in social activities in your friend group. They might have some sort of mental issue that is leading them to act against their own best interest. Alternately, they may have something going on that they've chosen not to share with ...


10

I can often be shy in social situations. One thing that helps when I lead meetings is to ask myself, "What would I wish the organizer would do in this situation?" You're not putting yourself out there in this case; you're serving the group by helping everyone stay on task. A set agenda is always helpful in a meeting and will ensure that important business ...


9

Immediately upon reading your post I was sure it was coming from an Asian household. Since you are at this age and they still treat you like a child, there is nothing you can say or do that will make them recognize your adulthood. This is cultural. I say this as a first generation westerner of Indian descent. The best you can do is... the best you can do....


9

My approach to this situation would be honest, if I offer someone a mint and they say they think it is because their breath smells I would say something along the lines of "Not really, I am just offering you a mint to be nice" If you repeat this enough times eventually the other person will stop misreading the situation. Clear communication is something ...


9

If your friend simply wants to spend some time alone then that is fine and acceptable behaviour. If they have a mental health issue, or a personal issue that they don't want to talk about then that is also understandable behaviour and as a friend you simply continue to invite that person out as normal and accept when they say no. Bear in mind that if it is ...


9

Personally, this would somewhat bother me in a case of a longer gap between messages. So what I do instead is thank a person right away: – Hey, do you have Bob's number? Thanks. – Here: +x xxx xx xx. No problem. This is both polite and doesn't needlessly alert people to "junk messages".


9

How to handle the encounter with the disabled in this situation? Well, first greet them as you do to other people. They are maybe differently-abled people, but still they're people like others and want (mostly) to be treated as normal as possible. So, just talk in the same way you do with others. One of the question I have is whether asking about when, ...


8

I'm not familiar with Indonesian weddings, but since you're asking in general, I'm giving you my Indian perspective, which is sort of relevant to Indonesian as well. It's unfortunate that you missed the invitation letter. It's more unfortunate that you decided to not show up just by that reason. There were some things you could have tried instead: You ...


8

Most people should understand that we all have different capacities for social interactions. Some people love being with other people, other people a little less so. Some people are extroverts, others are introverts. Some people have lots of friends, others have a few close friends. To avoid stigmatisation, you want to show that how you were when you were ...


7

Based on your answer to my comment, you could just tell your friend very politely something like, Hey, I was looking forward to just chilling with you after finishing {task 1} and I'd really rather do that and come back another time for {task 2}. I'm sure {task 2} won't take long but I just didn't want to do it now. However, is there anything else I ...


6

There are two reasons a person would mention previous favours while asking you for one that you are not agreeing to. they see these things as transactional: I have helped you x times, you have only helped me y times, you owe me. Pay up! they are showing you their opinion of the closeness of your relationship: it's one chock-full of favours and helping. They ...


6

In a group of introverts, a good solution is to offer online/paper feedback options to everyone. Freeform, or multiple choice, as appropriate. Also, ask people if they would feel more comfortable if they have an option to offer feedback anonymously.


6

I've often found myself not speaking up in many meetings because 1) the active participants don't leave enough room between expressions and 2) I don't believe the thoughts I'm having are very different or very important compared to what is already being expressed. I do speak up when I feel there's something important left unsaid. When called upon I'm more ...


6

Consider the possibility that their main motivation was an addiction to either alcohol or a specific med, which they can pick up in their house but not in the hospital; and much of this is withdrawal symptoms/cold turkey. [Or combination of addiction like pills and caffein, giving an unusual combination of symptoms; tho I'm sure the doctors considered this.] ...


6

I'll take a stab at this although I think we're just hearing part of the story here. From the information you have provided, it seems that this person: is unqualified to do their job is harassing an employee (maybe not too much now but if nothing is done, it might escalate) is holding the team back is the boss' son Going forward with that, my best advice ...


5

One thing that I've noticed is that if two or more "shy" people get together, the least shy person tends to step forward and take the lead. You appear to be the "least" shy person in the group. So step forward and go for it. Realize that your shyness is actually an advantage in this group of shy people because you will have a better sense of what will and ...


5

I am writing as an Asian-American, so I know something about "Asian." although nothing about "Javanese." I disagree with another poster who advised talking about "current events." Those, and a related matter, politics, are likely to be controversial (unless you are talking, perhaps, about who won Miss Indonesia). Speaking of "Miss Indonesia," a safer topic ...


5

Normally, it's a good idea to be "inclusive." But there are times when people don't want to be included. They may be shy about expressing themselves, or whatever. There are times (critical ones) when everyone must "stand up and be counted." These informal meetings that you are running don't appear to be among them. While it's good of you to give everyone a ...


5

That's a tricky situation to be in. I was in your shoes, supervising 30 to 40, all volunteer helpers, following Hurricane Andrew in South Florida. (1989/1990?) What I found most effective was to remind them, in many, many different ways, what the results of their actions would be on the receiving end. For example, putting ONE can opener into a case of ...


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