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As the parent of an Asperger's kid, there's enough on that here that I won't add to the pile. As a person who works in IT, what you describe seems to be what I call "normal". Let's look at what you say. You have friends. You interact with them at a schedule that works for you and your interactions are satisfying. You have a job that you have a passion ...


30

In these situations, I ask a lot of questions and run through scenarios. I'm not playing to win, I'm playing to set up the shape of the game in the child's head. I keep it friendly and semi-cooperative and most of all take time over their moves. can you see which moves you can make? If not, talk them through it Let's talk through a few of your options:...


29

I'm very much like you. I don't talk unless I have to. My words are scarce. It's safe to assume that you're doing okay so far and that people aren't considering you as a rude employee. What would make you actually appear rude is if you give curt or one-word responses to people trying to make small talk. That is, if a coworker comes to you saying "How are ...


25

Reading this question an old adage came to mind: Always leave them wanting more. The best way to avoid the bit when the conversation runs out of steam is to leave when the conversation is at its peak. Imagine this: you're chatting with a co-worker about widgets, you're both very interested in widgets and the conversation is easy and fun. After a few minutes ...


21

I have ... similar issues. In my experience, no matter how often you force yourself into uncomfortable social environments, you won't start to like them. You'll probably never be a party person, and when you don't enjoy the activity, you'll probably only resent having to do it. What I found helps me out tremendously with practising social interactions is ...


21

I am a 'Joe' and I have met many 'Joe's' over the years. You are unlikely to be able to convince Joe he is not slow, even when presented with hard evidence he will come up with reasons why that is wrong or does not represent the norm. Joe knows he is slow and you telling him otherwise just means he hides it well. So don't try to change his mind. Instead, ...


19

Silence isn't always "awkward." Sometimes a conversation has reached a natural end and needs a "break." Sometimes, a person will reasonably pause to think. However if you want to break the silence, have a "reserve" topic of conversation at hand.


17

You are not alone in this: I am not an introvert, I need socialising badly, but even I need a break as often as not. Particularly in a situation where I'm surrounded for long hours by people whom I did not pick to be my friends (read co-workers). My solution? I always carry a book with me. Any time I want to spend my break alone, I pull out my book, and ...


15

Having been very active on many forums in my life, I can say that it can work for or against you, but will most likely work against you if you don't have much real life interaction. The types of interpersonal skills we use on forums can be very different from the ones we use when we are offline. What we gain from online communication are things like ...


15

By common everyday standards you do appear to be over-attached to your friend. Not necessarily that you're asking too much of him ... it sounds more like you're simply suffering in silence instead. Honestly I think I'd be remiss if I didn't suggest you look into counseling. As a college student you may find that there are a lot of resources available to ...


14

Both my husband and the husband of a friend who visits often are similar to you. They take a break whenever they need to, because we know this about them. The visiting husband will sometimes go off for a walk for an hour or two in the peace and quiet of our country neighbourhood. My husband will go to our basement, or to our home office which has a thick ...


14

If her quietness is a symptom of her anxiety, it is possible that there is no perfect communication that would allow her to entirely change her behavior, just like I imagine that there is no one-time reassurance she can give that her silence is not malicious that would make you stop being uncomfortable with it. (I'm going to consider professional/medical ...


13

Being an introvert is not a problem. I am an introvert. That means that talking with people makes me tired instead of the opposite. While it's true that I became uninterested in other people and quite shy as a consequence, I have currently no issue talking with strangers, even about embarassing stuff. That's because being an introvert only means that social ...


13

There seems to be two ways that you can possibly try and convince someone you are happy: one is to tell them that you are happy (and you've said this isn't working); the other is to try and show them that you are happy. The latter may require some conscious behavioral changes and this is where it becomes problematic, because you tell us you are content with ...


13

There's only one reason that your friends would continue to ask you in different, more pressuring ways to do something--it's because they believe they have a chance of changing your mind. The fact that you've ended up giving into this pressure before doesn't help, but at the end of the day, this seems like a problem with the art of saying no. If you know ...


12

It sounds like she is worried about you but doesn't know how to express that in a supportive way. Her worries are probably not all strictly rational. She may worry that you are missing out on life. She may feel frustrated that you are still living at home instead of moving to your own place. I don't know if these are what she's feeling, and neither do you. ...


11

How can someone prevent this situation? Never answer statements without an "and" statement. This can be by introducing more content or asking a question. For example: "What's your favorite color?" "Blue." vs: "What's your favorite color?" "Blue. What is yours? Now, clearly in practice this is more difficult than asking about favorite colors but I find ...


11

Check this. Anyway. You seem to have given him lots of positive feedback, but this does not seem to work. I would suggest a different angle from the other answers here: Investigate if he receives negative feedback from other colleagues. If he thinks he's slow, perhaps it is because someone else told him. Maybe it was just a taunt or a joke that got ...


10

There are several factors at work here, not just introversion. One is relatively easy. When you get asked a question where you anticipate a person will have to wait for a response, warn them. Say something along the lines of, "Let me think about that for a minute." If they are getting antsy, just say, "Still thinking. Won't be long." This will only work, ...


10

Use it as a learning experience, especially if you have time. Kids at that age are funny. Some of them are in the "I want to do things myself" stage and some are in the "help me get better stage". This method works for both but you have to change how you structure it a bit depending. You have a few options but mostly it results in not actually playing a ...


10

As someone who has exactly the same outlook, here are my top three tips for appearing quiet, but friendly: Maintain a small repertoire of information about co-workers One fact per person is OK, 2 or 3 for serious contacts. When someone asks you how you are, respond with something like "Fine thanks. I hope your sister is feeling better." Then nod through ...


10

I can often be shy in social situations. One thing that helps when I lead meetings is to ask myself, "What would I wish the organizer would do in this situation?" You're not putting yourself out there in this case; you're serving the group by helping everyone stay on task. A set agenda is always helpful in a meeting and will ensure that important business ...


9

Firstly, do not approach the encounter thinking they will have different interests to you. You may find they have a hobby similar to one of yours. I'd be willing to bet at least one secretly visits Stack Exchange... But in any case, it doesn't matter if they do have different interests, in fact you may have a better conversation if they have a completely ...


9

I used to be in the same shoes as yours. In fact, I'm from the Netherlands as well. I was always VERY awkward and disliked public speaking. Because, and only because, I used to stutter immensely - and I still stutter today (but not as bad as back then) - so I avoided verbal communication as much as possible, because the whole stuttering-thing made me never ...


9

My background: I am married to a very introverted person, and I have had to explain his disappearing act when he needs to go recharge. I understand the reluctance of explaining what you're doing and why you need to recharge/rest. How can I approach this issue politely without hurting feelings and harming my relationships? I would like to have a way ...


7

Extraversion/introversion refers to how your social interactions relate to your mental/emotional energy levels. An extrovert feels as if they gain energy by interacting with people, while an introvert feels like those interactions cost them energy. This question is independent of how much you like people generally, or whether you like big or small groups. ...


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