111
votes
Accepted
How to ask your girlfriend to pay her share of the rent when she moves in?
There is possibly a bigger issue here. If the question is literally "How to ask girlfriend to pay rent..", then you've almost, already, done that.
A more diplomatic approach could be just starting a ...
- 803
82
votes
How to ask your girlfriend to pay her share of the rent when she moves in?
The key word in your question is "invited".
(update: It was. Question has since been edited to remove that word. Skip the next paragraph to get to the actual answer, I leave it as this was the ...
- 7,150
71
votes
How to ask your girlfriend to pay her share of the rent when she moves in?
Seldom I've seen a question that is so well separated into two worlds.
I think that you can settle this by dividing the risks and possibilities, and manage expectations with precision.
Your ...
- 4,739
70
votes
Accepted
How can I remind someone to do a task when reminding them makes them less likely to do it?
I disagree with those who claim it is immature or otherwise wrong for her to object to you telling her to do it. You're not her parent or manager. The two of you are partners. You want to work ...
- 45k
53
votes
Accepted
How to align personal interests with family?
Life is about setting priorities, and while it's common for people to say that you should spend "all your time" with your family, the truth is that for many people that just doesn't work. Lots of ...
- 7,274
38
votes
Accepted
Could keeping score help in conflict resolution?
My partner and I have been using a scoring system for household tasks since we moved in together, because we both felt that we did more than the other and that the labor not was divided equally.
Our ...
- 504
33
votes
How can I remind someone to do a task when reminding them makes them less likely to do it?
As someone who has this problem themselves, I should have an answer for you. The sad thing is, after many years, I don't know whether I do. I'm still learning too.
I have exactly that reaction/...
- 2,050
31
votes
How to ask your girlfriend to pay her share of the rent when she moves in?
The way you phrased your question, it sounds like you've asked your girlfriend to uproot her life and move 1000k, not out of love, but because you need someone to subsidize your rent. Now that might, ...
- 2,851
24
votes
Accepted
Girlfriend gets extremely angry over small issues, how can I help her?
First my humble opinion
I will be honest, your relationship is extremely close to an abusive relationship, even without violence.
As you said she is prone to anger over the smallest of details, wich ...
- 4,677
24
votes
How to encourage my boyfriend to sleep in the same bed as me?
"I'm sure he can sleep in the master bedroom because he has done so for about 9 months"
Just because he has tolerated something in the past doesn't mean he should continue to do so in the ...
- 655
23
votes
How to ask your girlfriend to pay her share of the rent when she moves in?
You don't!!!
I mean you are moving in together. If she is actually your girlfriend and someone you care about, then you prepare yourself to support her. If you can't do that, then you have no ...
- 1,938
17
votes
How can I remind someone to do a task when reminding them makes them less likely to do it?
I am a life-long procrastinator. During the second year of my marriage to a wonderful, loving man, we had a long "lively discussion" about this which ended when he quietly said, with much obvious ...
- 171
17
votes
Girlfriend gets extremely angry over small issues, how can I help her?
I had a similar situation with a girlfriend, in my 20's. For the record, we eventually broke up! What worked for me (with one girl so I don't know if it would generalize) is walking out.
I just said, ...
- 5,912
17
votes
How to suggest someone to find a hobby without offending them?
Depression
I think half of the problem here is your initial framing and her depression.
Anything said to her in that way with her current state of mind will (in all likelihood) be taken as an insult ...
- 3,011
16
votes
How to make clear to my boyfriend that I simply don't have anything to talk about
From what you've said, it sounds like you are communicating your current thoughts effectively; you've told him that you don't have much to talk about and he seems unable to accept that and is upset. ...
- 669
13
votes
How to ask your girlfriend to pay her share of the rent when she moves in?
Your actual question is:
How do I tell her that if she doesn't get a job in a reasonable amount of time, or at least show me that she is trying to get a job so that she can pay half of the rent; ...
- 1,266
13
votes
How can I remind someone to do a task when reminding them makes them less likely to do it?
"All you need is love...." isn't as accurate as advertised.
Unfortunately there are some other important factors to think about in a serious, long term relationship. This sort of "forgetfulness" ...
- 54.9k
12
votes
Could keeping score help in conflict resolution?
TL;DR: There is always some score-keeping happening in relationships, but to get the benefits of score-keeping you're going to depend hugely on how you keep the score and even more on how you ...
- 34k
10
votes
How to align personal interests with family?
The tough truth is that you have to change your lifestyle now. To what extent and how - is your decision and depends on the sort of work you do. But you always can to involve your child into your ...
- 201
10
votes
How to handle degrading neighbour / acquaintance couples?
Regarding Alice's husband, if he doesn't want to be a jerk then saying something simple like:
That's not a very nice thing to say.
will most likely be very effective at getting him to change his ...
- 7,664
9
votes
How can I remind someone to do a task when reminding them makes them less likely to do it?
From the sound of it, she still has some maturing to do.
if I remind her, it makes her more likely to not want to do it
It sounds like you're describing a teenager's behavior.
If your helpful ...
- 2,972
8
votes
How to align personal interests with family?
As a parent, this does strike me as not sounding like you understand how to give your child the basic needs. Providing food and clothing and lights is not enough. Children need to be loved. They ...
- 10k
8
votes
Accepted
If you rely on your partner to do something, how do you ask them to do it better?
Relationships are a team sport; they work better with less "I" and "you" and more "we".
My husband and I have had this kind of problem, in both directions. He used to wash the dishes but I wasn't ...
- 17.2k
8
votes
Suggestions on how to constructively discuss mundane issues with spouse?
This kind of communication break down can be pretty detrimental to a relationship, so you're 100% right to look for help with it.
My ex and I had a similar style of communication breakdown. Half the ...
- 2,619
8
votes
How to suggest someone to find a hobby without offending them?
Answer
So, to list all the actual technical questions you are asking...
How to suggest someone to find a hobby without offending them?
she took it to herself and I felt very bad about that because ...
- 3,352
8
votes
Accepted
How to comfort and help a partner who can't get a job and started questioning own capability?
Two years of job searching without any success is bound to dent your self-esteem. I think you said the right things, but the reassurance needs to be maintained until things get better.
He's begun ...
- 785
8
votes
Could keeping score help in conflict resolution?
I've been in two different couples where we had this kind of problems and different ways to solve it. I never had to implement a score keeping system. My understanding is that as long as both partners ...
- 4,740
7
votes
How can I remind someone to do a task when reminding them makes them less likely to do it?
There is one lifehack that worked for me perfectly well. I was the forgetful lazybones in such a situation, and I had my parents (and sometimes friends) reminding me what I must do/promised to do/...
- 318
Only top scored, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible