100

If you want to meet with someone but don't want them to think you are considering romance, invite them and their partner (if any) to get together with you and your partner / spouse. That makes it clear that nothing is "under the table" or hidden, you are interested in a social encounter rather than a romantic encounter. This advice is based on personal ...


77

I'm not much of a talker myself and my father isn't either. However, every Saturday my father will ask me to come grocery shopping with him and I will agree (even though I no longer live at my parent house which means that the food which is bought these days isn't even for me). I don't really like to do grocery shopping and my father definitively doesn't ...


46

I have lived in France for roughly 25 years, and from experience, I can tell you that: You never know for sure if you have to cheek-kiss. Even the French don't know if, in case you cheek-kiss, you do it 2, 3 or 4 times: it depends on the part of the country you're in (but it's 1 in Belgium). You usually do that only with close friends or family. But it ...


30

Be explicit I've had this problem a few times, and my choice was always to make it completely explicit. By this I mean stating "I have a partner and nothing romantic is on the table". Of course, don't say this in an accusatory tone, just as matter-of-factly as you can. It is possible that this may make certain people lose interest in trying to befriend ...


29

You could just ask. If he's interested in getting to know you better, and wants to invest the time, asking him for his phone number or for a way to contact him is a pretty reasonable thing to do. Believe it or not, people used to communicate without social media. Way back in the way back, if you wanted to get to know someone you'd ask them for their phone ...


27

Is there a way to show interest in getting to know others while still protecting yourself? Yes. Ask more questions and listen carefully. Most people like to talk about themselves to an extent (some a lot). If you ask them pertinent questions and listen to the answers, you'll get to know one aspect of that person. But you're worried about how they might ...


21

With all due respect, I think you're overthinking and overcomplicating this. You say that you don't want to look like you have a hidden agenda when inviting him to dinner. That's right you don't, you have a pretty open agenda. Lets look at all the hints we can glean from your text (and these are hints he can also glean from your interactions): There is a ...


21

Let him listen Some quiet people don't necessarily need silence. They like conversations; they just don't want to contribute. So rather than asking him questions, try just telling him things. It's preferable to pick subjects he enjoys. But of course, you may not know which subjects he enjoys. Ask him Every once in a while, when you face a choice ...


19

I used to tend bar in NYC and I've seen this scenario many times. Here's what you should do: The first few times you go, pick a slow night like an early weekday. Sit at the bar and, when they aren't busy helping someone else, try to strike up a conversation with the bartender. I don't know your gender or your preferences but, especially if you are a man ...


18

Yes, if it is your first interaction with the neighbor, it will be seen as weird. The neighbor will feel judged, like you're saying the dog is inadequately cared for now. They may worry that you have bad plans for the dog as well. Plus, how would you access the dog in the middle of the day to play with it or walk it? With a key to their apartment, something ...


18

My father does not talk (or when he talks socially he is quite awkward). He is a brilliant guy with a huge knowledge, it is just that he does not want and does not know how to chat. He met a new family member (someone who married into my family) during a family gathering, someone like him. At some point, we realized in horror that we left them both alone in ...


17

I'm on the autism spectrum too and I really don't feel comfortable lying. So here is what I do when someone asks me for my opinion and I know that they won't like the answer: Instead of answering "I don't like this dress", I try to understand why I don't like it. For example, if I don't like the color, I can say: I'm not a big fan of this color. I find ...


16

You are a intern, they are full-timers / You are much younger than they are. I'll have a look from the other side of the lense as, for years, I've been on the other side: much older than the team (at the workplace) or the student (in my own company). It might be useful to understand how it works from another point of view... What did I expect? As a ...


16

Tell them about an event that you will already be attending and which you do not control, such as a local trivia night or a concert in the park, with no implied obligation. Social stuff with service staff is weird because they have to be friendly with you or they risk losing their job. Your instincts may be good that they genuinely like you, but you don't ...


14

I get it. It's embarrassing to tell people you're broke, and you can't afford to do all the things they might like to do. I've been there. This may sound like a cliche, but one that's nevertheless true: Real friends will want to be with you no matter what your circumstances. Most of the time all they want is your company and your conversation. Still, ...


14

Why would someone not like this? Surely the honest approach provides them with the most value... Before answering, let me state that this is a very common phenomenon in human communication. Based on contemporary theories of communication (see Watzlawick et al. to name one), all communication carries content and relationship. Saying that a dress “looks ...


14

Be direct, but also casual, and make the invitation about the thing you want to do more than about doing that thing with her. Platonic, casual, innocent invitations to friendly acquaintances do not mix well with intense thought and planning. Acting awkwardly, nervously, or making a big deal of the invitation or event will cut against the impression you want ...


12

It might be too late for this method, but this is usually how I end up "knowing" people that I initially only recognize by sight. When eye contact is made, smile and nod hello/goodbye. No words. Works with headphones. Don't maintain eye contact for more than a second or two after the nod exchange. When MUTUAL non-verbal greeting starts to occur; now ...


11

From my own experience, this is not black or white. I will agree that if you aren't sure, let the other person make the first move. You can politely extend your hand to be on the safe side. You can't go wrong with a handshake. Or is it expected even among acquaintances? Not necessarily, even though people usually expect for reciprocation. So, if they hug ...


11

I don't want to put them on the spot by asking them to hang out True in terms of "day-to-day hangout" (something you'd do with your close friends instead), but you could start up with a "particular one-shot hangout". Say, your birthday. Hey, I'm having my birthday party this Friday night, and you're invited; it will be an easy pizza-and-bowling-match ...


10

Stopping by to make smalltalk is hard to pull off effectively unless you are really good in making smalltalk and keeping a conversation going. From my experience, breaks, during lunch or simple coffeebreaks, are a great moment to socialize in the workspace. It doesn't disturb someone working, and it is something that most people regularly do. Join the ...


10

There are tons of ways to show someone you are interested in getting to know them without explicitly revealing things about yourself Initiate Contact: If you are the one to approach someone else this shows immediate and obvious interest. Ask Questions: Especially detailed or open-ended questions. This demonstrates interest by showing that you want to ...


10

You do not specify where you are from, so parts of this answer might not be applicable, please let me know if it is so. I will start with the part of the answer you are expecting, some alternative considerations are below how can I be more assertive when telling her that a serious relationship is not an option? Be clear, no fuzzyness, no vagueness: tell ...


10

How do I start a conversation with an ex to restore past friendship? Here's the thing about friendships, they require that both parties involved want to be a part of them. Now imagine you've broken up badly and you're upset, but eventually you get over it. You make new friends, pick up some new hobbies and piece things back together. Then two years later ...


9

If you have already previously spoken with someone, I have seen no harm in saying a "Hi". 'Hi' is only supposed to be a greeting, an ice-breaker. There's absolutely no harm in going up and saying "Hi. I am XYZ. Remember, we talked at the party? Bla bla bla". At best, you get a new friend. At worst, they will just coldly ignore you and move away. The second ...


9

It is almost always appropriate to be honest. It is almost never appropriate to be brutal about it. There's 'brutal honesty', where you consider honesty the ultimate good, and don't care how much it hurts the person you are speaking to, and there's 'white lies' where you say whatever you think will make the other person happy, disregarding the truth, and ...


8

Just make it simple. You can drop the invitation in the middle of a conversation about food. In order to make the perfect caramelized zucchini, you have to do this and that. Oh, by the way, I plan to make them for a dinner party at my place, do you want to come and try them? Since it's a party and not a dinner just for the two of you, he will take this ...


8

Well, first off, you need to ask yourself whether they want to be closer friends than they currently are. Service staff are likely to generally see you as customers. Sure, exceptions happen, but don't assume. That said, I have made loads of friends who work in bars, restaurants and clubs, and key to it is being friendly and personable. Listen to them, be ...


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