77

Because it was something you used to do for the people who lived there before, you could use that to basically ease your way into it. Mention to him that you used to do it for the previous tenants/owners of the house, and that you really don't mind continuing to help out with it for them as well, if they want. Worst comes to worst, they decline, you continue ...


56

I once had a noisy neighbour who was very inconsiderate like yours. Talking to him, knocking on his door and writing him letters didn't help. You should look up the bylaws in your city and see if your city has any bylaw enforcement. You would probably have more luck with bylaw enforcement because the police often feel like their time is being wasted handling ...


33

I was taught this as part of my training to be at a conference on behalf of the conference organizers. Talking to people is part of the job, and in fact standing at a booth for people to come and talk to you is often part of the job. And you get people who love to talk and will not take hints. The vital step is to stop hinting and clearly communicate that ...


21

I've found the best way to resolve things that could be heated is to try and leave the other party a way out without losing face. Perhaps say Howdy neighbor I noticed some odd trash in my bin, do you think one of your kids might have mistaken mine for yours? I'd not mind but it costs more money/my bin was too full for my trash. OR Hey neighbor, have ...


18

From your post, at least to me, you've tried almost everything a civilized person can do. Time for action now! As what I'm thinking right now isn't per se an IPS solution, I'll focus on another way to sort this out. I've seen this kind of individual and attitude (my girlfriend had a neighbour like yours, before we move together, some years ago), and she had ...


18

Time for a small frame challenge. The problem as I understand it is that the boy doesn't realise that the 2 doorbells means you're just neighbours sharing the same front door. From my experience with my nieces, nephews and neighbours kids I can tell you the best time to teach a new concept is in the moment they're stuck on it. In this case, when nobody ...


11

I never had the exact issue you have (training a pet), but I would treat it the same way I treat other events where neighbors could be disturbed. An upcoming big party or renovations, which are noisy and temporary events. I'm from Western Europe (Belgium). In this case, since it's only the one neighbor, I would put a note in their mailbox where you explain ...


7

I've been in similar situation twice. One living in a house and one in apartment. First of all - You cannot be sure it's the new renter. While living in apartment, the "complainer" was a person who lived in the furthers apartment from mine and on a different floor. They used new people moving in to start sending complains so it would look like it was them ...


6

In the given case that you prime goal is to let your cat stay alive, I wouldn't go into any details about the threatening he did. Saying he is a very impulsive person, He is very likely to just curse around when seeing something like this, confronting him with that, will most likely not come over like a real excuse, but rather like criticism and no matter if ...


5

First, don't worry too much (yet). Many people use death threat as a general insult (even at their own children), without even the slightest intent to actually do it. I would come personally to the neighbour and apologise, saying something like "It seems that my cat accidentally went into your yard. Please, if it bothers you, I will make sure it won't ...


5

Since Ally is walking her dog, Betty might simply excuse herself to go into the house until Ally has moved on. As long as she doesn't do it right away, perhaps giving the conversation five to ten minutes at a time, that will show Ally that she is a friendly person, but it will put an end to the conversation without hurt feelings. It would probably not be a ...


4

There are several problems with expressing your opinion out loud. Whatever this person may have for reason to behave the way he does, it is quite clearly a strong motive. Buying three cars is expensive, and moving one of them halfway every time you go out with one car is tedious. You would have to be prepared for his cars to be very precious to him. By ...


3

You mention that he "hates wearing hearing aids". I suspect that this is the root of the issue: If he plays the music at a level that you find acceptable, then he can't hear it. If this is age-related hearing loss, then he might also be in denial about how badly he needs them. This may tie into why he closes the door on you - if he can't hear you talking,...


3

I fully agree with the answer from @Ash. But, let me add, on an Interpersonal note... Yes, and... The concept "Yes, and..." is borrowed from group improv stage play, such as the show "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" The concept is that each action or line in the performance must always "agree" with the actor before, then add more to the scene; never level an ...


3

In Canada, the law seems pretty clear in this case -> Public Safety Related to Dogs Statute Law Amendment Act. Check the "Amendment 15 / 5-1 (a) & (b)" as follow: Owner to prevent dog from attacking 5.1 The owner of a dog shall exercise reasonable precautions to prevent it from, (a) biting or attacking a person or domestic animal; or (b) ...


2

On the surface this would seem like a generalisation of the problem mentioned in another question. You could check my answer there, justified by the issue I had once with a landlord who gave away my bicycle. The simplest approach is to meet your new hostel mate, give them the benefit of the doubt that they may not know the local customs, but be direct and ...


2

I think you did the right thing. You cannot force any education into a dog owner like the one you encountered. You are lucky because of your physical advantages too. On the practical side, as far as I know, there are laws in all civilized countries about how dog owners MUST walk their dogs in public areas. The rules are applied differently to different ...


1

There is one post in particular that I would suggest reading as it also revolves around an impossible neighbour equally impossible to reach. It contains very good first (and second and third and fourth...) steps in its body as well as possible alternatives in its answers. After every reasonable interpersonal solution mentioned there failed, I would ...


1

As someone who also doesn't understand when people aren't upfront, I would just be honest and say something along the lines of: Sorry, I'm not really interested in these topics. You may want to change the wording to soften the blow, but keep the honesty. She can also explain that she has stuff to focus on and can't be chatting for so long. Saying one's ...


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