183 votes

Requesting someone to give up their seat to me on public transport if I have an invisible disability?

That might not be the best solution, but how about I'm sorry, I'm not feeling well, can I please sit down? Anyone, no matter how young and fit, might not be feeling well on a particular day, with ...
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180 votes
Accepted

How can I handle my father challenging everything I say?

My goal is to win these arguments if they occur or to stop them from happening entirely. Everything but losing the argument, basically. How can I do that? You need to modify your definition of "...
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  • 3,067
178 votes
Accepted

Requesting someone to give up their seat to me on public transport if I have an invisible disability?

I'm probably going to Hell for this, but what we might need here is a little white lie. I have an arthritic knee and sometimes this means I end up using a fold up walking stick (available in many ...
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165 votes
Accepted

How can I stop enabling my brothers without my mom exploding?

You handled your end perfectly, and I mean, perfectly. Kudos on setting and keeping a boundary. How can I get my mom to understand that I'm not responsible for the mess she found when she came home?...
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151 votes
Accepted

How do I politely ask my friend for a refund on unused rent?

There's no gentle way to say this, so I'll be blunt: You had a business arrangement, and reneged. Your friend put that apartment at your disposal, however you acted on irrational fears, and decided ...
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  • 17.1k
128 votes

Friend keeps making jokes about my ethnicity which are not funny

Pretend like you didn't understand that it was a joke and take him seriously. It could go like this: "Hey do you know that random Indian person I met on the train last weekend?" Stare at him for ~...
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  • 1,078
105 votes

Offering to share my umbrella without sounding creepy

Generally you shouldn't offer further help. As soon as she wants to go her way you let her do so. You are a random stranger to her, there is every chance she doesn't want to lead you to her home ...
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  • 5,125
104 votes
Accepted

Dealing with somebody who's ignoring my very existence

I hesitate to suggest shunning her like the other answers suggest. It seems like it might work, but it also seems like it could be traumatic for her. A little about autism I think it's worth knowing a ...
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100 votes

How can I stop enabling my brothers without my mom exploding?

Hmm... The boys know how to keep things clean, they do help when parents are at home, but are lazy when the cats are away, and don't listen to Sis. There are two problems here... The boys Mom Let'...
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  • 5,975
97 votes
Accepted

How to handle people blocking your view and breaking the rules at the theater by not sitting in their assigned seats?

I have been the kid in a situation like this. My father can behave a lot like this girl's mother. It is extremely embarrassing when your parents break social norms. Let's analyse their behaviour. ...
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  • 8,020
96 votes
Accepted

How to imply that the gift is meant for the two of us

Don't give the tickets, give an invitation to go to the concert together. That way you will be making it clear what your gift is: attending the concert with you. Also, this leaves you still holding ...
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  • 4,951
85 votes

How can I handle a co-worker awkwardly forcing herself into conversations?

You're basically describing a fairly typical introverts' behavior, so I'm going to try and give some insight into what she's doing, and why. It could be wrong, but since you've described every ...
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  • 2,310
79 votes

How to handle people blocking your view and breaking the rules at the theater by not sitting in their assigned seats?

I used to work in a cinema where this is a problem. You did the correct thing by getting the attendant and letting them deal with it, that is what they are trained to do. The only thing I would ...
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75 votes
Accepted

How can I stop acquaintances from reposting my photos on social media without credit to me?

Well, you could try contacting each person in turn, and asking them to give you credit by following the steps you described in your post. You shouldn't bring them stealing your work into the ...
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  • 17.1k
73 votes

How can I handle my father challenging everything I say?

You seem to be an apple that didn't fall far from the tree. When there are two people in an argument who prefer "anything but losing the argument" this is what is going to happen. People are going to ...
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  • 43.5k
73 votes

How to handle people blocking your view and breaking the rules at the theater by not sitting in their assigned seats?

In any theater with assigned seating, it is not your job to remove people from seats they haven't paid for. That is the job of the ushers and other staff, who are paid to check tickets and are (...
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  • 6,787
62 votes
Accepted

How can I more clearly ask people to accommodate for my autism?

From a communication point of view, your main problem is excusing yourself and giving an challenge-able explanation, while at the same time acknowledging that other solutions exist. As a person with ...
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61 votes
Accepted

Should I help pay for a traffic ticket someone got while helping me?

There are two possible situations of this kind. The first is, he got the ticket in the line of duty. E.g., he had to park in the "wrong place" to unload your furniture, and got a ticket as a result. ...
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  • 5,571
58 votes

Dealing with somebody who's ignoring my very existence

I am not talking to her at parties, or approaching her. But she still seems intent on ruining the party for me, by ruining the conversations I am having, hijacking them and then pretending I don't ...
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  • 1,665
58 votes

Requesting someone to give up their seat to me on public transport if I have an invisible disability?

In London, UK, we have "Please Offer Me A Seat" badges and cards: https://tfl.gov.uk/campaign/please-offer-me-a-seat Once you have one of these badges, the duty of a true English citizen is to stand ...
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57 votes
Accepted

How to redirect a real-life help vampire to an alternate source of food... um... assistance?

This is anecdotal but maybe it can help: It was very rude of me and I am not proud of it, but when in that situation, I let the person down. Literally, I played "stupid". I pretended to not get what ...
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  • 1,523
56 votes

Received a large monetary gift from an estranged grandparent - now what?

Write a kind letter, expressing appreciation for the gift. It is very thoughtful of your grandfather to try to eliminate some of the hassles involved in the distribution of his estate after he passes....
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56 votes

How can I express my concerns about my underage brother drinking alcoholic beverages to him without sounding like I'm his mom?

You've made it pretty clear that you want to avoid alienating your brother from telling you these things in the future. To do so, focus on delivering a clear and concise message by getting your point ...
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  • 22.6k
52 votes
Accepted

How to deal with a dangerous, developmentally disabled person I can not avoid?

I had a similar problem a few years ago. A particular commuter (who I knew from a previous employment) would spot me on the platform and insist on coming up and talking to me. Because we have friends ...
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  • 656
52 votes

Offering to share my umbrella without sounding creepy

I don't think you could have. Different people have different sensibility to what makes them uncomfortable. I know that, for me (a woman), the mere fact that you propose your umbrella would have made ...
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  • 17.2k
51 votes

How can I try to have my mom help me understand why she won't accept a sincere apology?

I will assume that what you want to know is what you put in the title: How can I try to have my mom help me understand why she won't accept a sincere apology? In other words, I won't be addressing ...
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  • 2,886
51 votes

Is it socially acceptable to dismiss a compliment?

Rude would be arguing with the compliment. An honest gracious response is, generally, not rude. Humility is also important, which you seem to have a good deal of. That's a good thing as well. I ...
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  • 32.3k

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