181

That might not be the best solution, but how about I'm sorry, I'm not feeling well, can I please sit down? Anyone, no matter how young and fit, might not be feeling well on a particular day, with no visible signs. So you wouldn't need to go into any lengthy explanations. And people are usually nice and helpful when you ask nicely. This is what I usually ...


178

I'm probably going to Hell for this, but what we might need here is a little white lie. I have an arthritic knee and sometimes this means I end up using a fold up walking stick (available in many pharmacies and in charity shops sometimes). It does mean if I need to shift someone from the notionally reserved special seating on buses I've got visible ...


174

My goal is to win these arguments if they occur or to stop them from happening entirely. Everything but losing the argument, basically. How can I do that? You need to modify your definition of "winning" an argument with your father. His goal is to get in an argument. If you can avoid that argument, then you have "won". The best way to do this is to learn ...


163

You handled your end perfectly, and I mean, perfectly. Kudos on setting and keeping a boundary. How can I get my mom to understand that I'm not responsible for the mess she found when she came home? Repeat the story you told here, exactly as you told it. Your mom isn't thinking with logic, she's reacting to your assertion of your rights (it's called ...


153

There's no gentle way to say this, so I'll be blunt: You had a business arrangement, and reneged. Your friend put that apartment at your disposal, however you acted on irrational fears, and decided to move in with your parents. That's not on him, it's on you. Had you been accosted again the next day (or even a week later), you may have concluded that it'...


127

Pretend like you didn't understand that it was a joke and take him seriously. It could go like this: "Hey do you know that random Indian person I met on the train last weekend?" Stare at him for ~5 seconds with poker face and then ask: What? or: What do you mean? or: I don't think I understand. or: What makes you think I should know that ...


99

Generally you shouldn't offer further help. As soon as she wants to go her way you let her do so. You are a random stranger to her, there is every chance she doesn't want to lead you to her home because you might be just a nice guy, but you might be psycho stalker. Any insistence to walk her home might be seen as creepy. Saying all that the only possible ...


96

Hmm... The boys know how to keep things clean, they do help when parents are at home, but are lazy when the cats are away, and don't listen to Sis. There are two problems here... The boys Mom Let's focus on Mom. I'd sit her down and ask to go through what she expects of you. Specifically, ask her straight out: "If the boys will not clean up, are you ...


96

Don't give the tickets, give an invitation to go to the concert together. That way you will be making it clear what your gift is: attending the concert with you. Also, this leaves you still holding the tickets. One caveat here is that this should not make her uncomfortable. If you're romantically interested in her and this gift is actually a date in ...


95

I hesitate to suggest shunning her like the other answers suggest. It seems like it might work, but it also seems like it could be traumatic for her. A little about autism I think it's worth knowing a little about how she may see the problem. This is based on my own experience with autism, which probably isn't exactly the same as hers but might give some ...


94

I have been the kid in a situation like this. My father can behave a lot like this girl's mother. It is extremely embarrassing when your parents break social norms. Let's analyse their behaviour. One or more of them wanted better seats. One of them, most likely the mother decided to take the empty seats in front of you, which were an upgrade. The ...


91

I am going to slightly challenge the frame of your question, in that a more useful way to think about this interchange is to focus on it as professional handling of a difference of understanding rather than the discovery of the client's colour-blindness. You have stated that: The client got frustrated because he was thinking my colleague was joking with ...


85

You're basically describing a fairly typical introverts' behavior, so I'm going to try and give some insight into what she's doing, and why. It could be wrong, but since you've described every introvert I've ever known (myself included), I don't think I am, and it may help. Introverts frequently have a much harder time in large group social settings than ...


79

I used to work in a cinema where this is a problem. You did the correct thing by getting the attendant and letting them deal with it, that is what they are trained to do. The only thing I would potentially do in the future differently is not even engage them to begin with, generally if someone knows they are doing something wrong in a public setting like ...


75

Well, you could try contacting each person in turn, and asking them to give you credit by following the steps you described in your post. You shouldn't bring them stealing your work into the conversation at this stage, however, because most of them will likely not have thought of the situation in those terms, and will likely cooperate with you. Some of ...


73

You seem to be an apple that didn't fall far from the tree. When there are two people in an argument who prefer "anything but losing the argument" this is what is going to happen. People are going to yell, get their phones, prove facts, say those don't matter, say you must have remembered wrong, and generally get upset. I know it's upsetting to have things ...


69

In any theater with assigned seating, it is not your job to remove people from seats they haven't paid for. That is the job of the ushers and other staff, who are paid to check tickets and are (perhaps minimally) trained to resolve disputes. If you know the seats are not taken, but you don't want to tell the person asking, instead defer: They may or ...


64

I think that you are absolutely right to want to have your reaction planned in advance if Alice tries to sign up for the event. That suggests that you are trying to minimise the drama for all concerned. I would suggest that you and the appropriate other members of the group consider a couple of things. Other than drama during previous events, has anyone ...


62

There are two possible situations of this kind. The first is, he got the ticket in the line of duty. E.g., he had to park in the "wrong place" to unload your furniture, and got a ticket as a result. The second was he got the ticket outside of the line of duty. He ran the traffic light on his own, with no need to, and no prompting from you. In the first ...


58

I am not talking to her at parties, or approaching her. But she still seems intent on ruining the party for me, by ruining the conversations I am having, hijacking them and then pretending I don't exist, acting like they just started a conversation with another person that was not having a conversation to begin with. Simply ignoring you is something that ...


57

This is anecdotal but maybe it can help: It was very rude of me and I am not proud of it, but when in that situation, I let the person down. Literally, I played "stupid". I pretended to not get what he was asking and don't know the answer. So, to use your image: I dried out the food source. He went elsewhere and partly learned to find out things himself. ...


57

In London, UK, we have "Please Offer Me A Seat" badges and cards: https://tfl.gov.uk/campaign/please-offer-me-a-seat Once you have one of these badges, the duty of a true English citizen is to stand in the middle of the tube, flaunting the badge and avoiding making any eye contact with anyone. If someone has not offered you a seat within a few seconds, the ...


56

Write a kind letter, expressing appreciation for the gift. It is very thoughtful of your grandfather to try to eliminate some of the hassles involved in the distribution of his estate after he passes. You can at least say that much (just the thoughtful part, not why) truthfully. In the US, a thank you note is not considered enough if all it says is "thank ...


56

You've made it pretty clear that you want to avoid alienating your brother from telling you these things in the future. To do so, focus on delivering a clear and concise message by getting your point across in a few sentences. You do not want to prepare a speech, because repeating information your brother already knows is likely to make you sound like a ...


55

what are the pitfalls I should watch out for when engaging in conversation with my half-sister and half-brothers? I was actually in a very similar situation to this myself. My biological father had nothing to do with raising me. I knew he existed, but during my childhood a meeting was never suggested or encouraged by my mother or step father. This had ...


52

I had a similar problem a few years ago. A particular commuter (who I knew from a previous employment) would spot me on the platform and insist on coming up and talking to me. Because we have friends and colleagues in common and because there was a strong possibility I'd end up working with them in future, I was extremely keen not to offend them by ...


52

Rude would be arguing with the compliment. An honest gracious response is, generally, not rude. Humility is also important, which you seem to have a good deal of. That's a good thing as well. I understand your struggle with human interactions. There's never a good rule of "if this, then do that" or if there is, there are a ton of exceptions to that rule....


51

I will assume that what you want to know is what you put in the title: How can I try to have my mom help me understand why she won't accept a sincere apology? In other words, I won't be addressing the related question how can I persuade her to accept a sincere apology. (If I'm answering the wrong question, please let me know.) Slowly. I'll give an ...


50

Put yourself in the shoes of the person who is making a very small salary trying to get you to sign up for things. They need to get a certain number of "yes" over the course of a day. They know they will get a lot of "no". The ideal no is fast and is not rude or hurtful. A slow no may be of some value if it causes other people to gather round and one of them ...


50

Perhaps you can be a voice of reason. That is what I try to be. So I tend to that take topics and try to make it steered toward being more uplifting and supportive. Overall though, if you just show interest in people and ask them about themselves, you can usually easily avoid topics about others. So find out something about someone (they are a great ...


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