134

Unfortunately the tech support people you are speaking to are probably as frustrated as you are at having to go through the basic stuff with you. Large companies especially deal with the massive volume of tech support calls they receive by employing some staff on lower pay as a "buffer," dealing with simple or "known" issues so that they don't need to ...


120

It sounds like your friend is trying to indirectly ease into the conversation, hoping that you will give them a graceful entry point to their purpose, and it's only after several back-and-forth exchanges without such an entry-point that they can bring themselves to come right out with it. For some people, this is a natural way of interacting, and it is very ...


110

Anyone with a basic grasp on interpersonal skills wouldn't be posting this question. This title is unequivocally rude. Just to be clear, this is not my real answer, it's the example that proves the point. You were intending to send your short message to this person, likely with no surrounding context. When you read this title, before you read the rest of ...


106

You can side step that issue entirely. You don't even have to be deceitful about it. Simply say to them that the part of the project they can realistically help with is finished now (since it is, that's entirely the truth) and that you'll contact them again if something else comes up that they can help with. This has key advantages: You're not burning any ...


100

That being said, I'd like to politely inform people who mistake me for a man that I am actually a woman. I don't want it to sound aggressive because I don't really mind and it doesn't change anything to the answer, nonetheless I think they ought to know in order, maybe, to realize that there are also women here. People can never seem to figure out my gender....


90

I once had the same issue with an online friend. Since I have anxiety, I was very afraid that the person might react badly to me giving them a gift (feeling embarrassed and awkward). To resolve this, I simply decided to "warn" them beforehand and ask them if there was okay with me giving them a gift. In this case, the other person was absolutely fine and ...


85

It sounds like your wife is having what is often called an emotional affair. Even though it is just talk, the heart is involved. I say this not to escalate the situation, but because it is important you understand the situation in order to address it. I very much admire your stance to "be a better husband". Too many people give up on relationships at the ...


75

Sure, it's fine to use it, guys! It's fine as long as it's informal. I use it all the time, even at work among colleagues of either sex. I have heard it being used almost my entire life, every city I've been to, as long as it's informal and it's an English-speaking crowd. Avoid using guys in formal situations. Guys -- Oxford Dictionaries (informal) ...


72

It sounds like he's laying his kink cards on the table early. This may seem agressive, and perhaps foolish, but it boils down to: "I'm into these kinds of things sexually, what are you into?" He's coming across as aggressive, either because that's a part of his kink, or because he's looking for a purely sexual relationship, or because he's relatively ...


70

What I'm wondering is: Is this rude to the other users of the room? Yeah. People respond to being intentionally ignored in a chat room about as well as they do to being ignored in real life. (Which is really, really poorly). A public chat room is a shared space, where multiple conversations can happen at the same time, and anyone can join in and ...


67

In English, and in most cultures that use English as a first language, the masculine gender has historically been the default when speaking about an unidentified person. For example, written instructions intended to be received and used by any person of any gender often refer to the user as "he". Cultural changes mean this may be on the decline in formal use;...


64

Anyone with basic understanding of how Y works would be able to infer that from the examples. I can’t teach you how Y works. That's pretty rude. You're basically using a polite way of saying "If you weren't incompetent, you wouldn't be asking this question", which is kinda true in your case, but that's not what you want to bring across and not helpful to ...


64

First I question why you need everyone to trust your abilities. Some random JoeSchmo from chat's opinion hasn't got much bearing on what you can actually do, so convincing them is probably not necessary. It seems to me that what you want is to end this conversation of them questioning your abilities. So I suggest something like: I've been just fine so far ...


63

You don't As someone that has been in a similar situation, I can give you a bit of insight in how this would be received by your friend. Simply put, you are not in a position to diagnose (or meddle with) the mental state of others, especially over the internet. Frankly put, this is none of your business. Later down in the answer, I will outline what you can ...


61

The best defense is typically to display an openness for resolving potential issues where possible. I would suggest directing the user to the Reddit rules on the matter and stating that if they believe that any form of vote manipulation has taken place they should report your post - Just as they should with any other post. This would show to others that it'...


61

Each time I found myself in this situation, honesty and simplicity paid back. I think that simply approaching the topic directly can clarify his expectation. Refer to your previous experiences to explain why you want to discuss it with him: Hey, Onlinefriend, I'd like to see you in person, but I'd also make it extra clear that I'm happily in a close ...


59

What a coincidence! Last week, I got a phone call. It was from someone claiming to be a cousin (living in another country) that I hadn't spoken to in 48 years. He was driving down to Washington and he wanted to get together for lunch. Since he remembered specific examples of our activities, it wasn't hard at all to believe him. We had lunch, and had a ...


56

As someone with a little streaming experience, I'd like to throw in my own two cents. First and foremost, if someone asks if they can jump in and play with you and you flat out are not interested, stick to saying something like: "Thanks for the offer! For now I (or we, if your friends are present) am going to stick to focusing on _______ (goal dependent ...


53

I've been a freelance web developer for a number of years and dealt with this situation countless times. The best course of action I've found is to call them rather than e-mail them, explain the problem like you would to another developer as simply as you can and ask if it's possible to get the information from the sysadmin team. This approach seems to ...


53

I'd suggest something similar to @Ælis' answer. However, I'd phrase it like: You: I'm going to be in London for the big Poké event! Her: Omgggg. Really? ... (Poké discussion here) You: While I'm there, I'm planning to get trinkets for a bunch of my friends. Would you want me to get you one too? Similar to Ælis, this focuses on asking ...


49

what's the more gentle way to say that I'm leaving in early 2020 You say exactly that. Make a post, either on your website or some other site (I've seen similar posts on Twitlonger) that explains what you've said here. That the community has been a wonderful part of your life for almost a decade, but that you just have to move on. It can be short or long, ...


44

You say: Note that there aren't any ads on my blog site and the content is all free. I was also surprised at how well the post performed, most of my other posts didn't do quite so well [...]. I would respond with a variation on this! It's honest, and you can point to your past posting history to show that 1) at least you weren't doing it before, and 2) ...


44

I can only tell from my experience (means my answer is based on my own experiences and should be only linked to them. I don't mean it at a general rule). When men start talking about topics like that, they usually want to push the conversation into sexual ways to get arousal from it. Common next step is to send/ask you for explicit images and stuff like ...


42

Be explicit. By Poe's law, if you aren't explicit, it won't work. Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is utterly impossible to parody [any view] in such a way that someone won't mistake for the genuine article. If you're really worried about it being unclear, just stick an </s> at the end of whatever you said. Or say ...


41

Indian, male here. I think you don't owe any kind of explanation to anyone. It's your choice how you live or lead your life. I would most definitely suggest you to not interact with him anymore as you are not at all interested. When someone asks very personal things out of the blue, It is better to give them a answer in a way that further refrains them ...


40

Now I want to talk to her to show my support => does she want that too? That's the point. When in doubt, I usually just let people know who I am, and what I'm looking for. I don't put pressure on them, they have an easy way out; to do that, they only need to (just) don't answer and go back to you. It's not even rude to you, because you "tell" them to do so. ...


36

Maybe it's just me, but in the UK I would not understand any of that. It's completely alien to me. If you work in an international setting, it might be better to use full words and sentences to express your thoughts.


34

I would open with a candid discussion of keeping in touch and privacy. You are leaping too quickly to call it a lie. He did not say he only did homework, it is not a lie if the bulk of his activity was homework or even if only some of it was. How he spends his time is none of your business. Since you have no right to know that and are arguably out of ...


30

I communicate a lot online, especially in chatrooms - often on Stack Exchange chat itself, or Discord, or similar platforms, and have been using these platforms to communicate for years. I'm often sarcastic - I like incorporating sarcasm into my communication, and it doesn't help that I like to at times provide "comic relief" of sorts. I'm used to people ...


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