54

Life is about setting priorities, and while it's common for people to say that you should spend "all your time" with your family, the truth is that for many people that just doesn't work. Lots of people need some alone time, and they should take it because otherwise they'll just spend time being frustrated with their family. (Which is, technically, spending ...


39

Not to stray too far into parenting but I had a similar problem with learning reading comprehension at a young age. My primary motive for not reading much was the same too: I was uninterested in what I was being shown. This is where the key to the answer lies. You need to find a topic that Jane is interested in. There are likely to be a few where she's very ...


25

What I've done with my daughter that did not like to read is to encourage her with carrots, not sticks. First I would sprinkle around the house small notes written "Ice cream" or "hot chocolate". When she would find them and bring them to me, I'd serve all the children what she had found. But this depended on her older sister playing along and not helping ...


17

For some reason, people saying "no" always seem to think that they need a reason. Hint: You don't. "Thanks for offering; I'm fine." "I appreciate your offer but not right now." Or, for someone really irresponsible: "I'm afraid that's not possible". If you're worried about colds: expose the kid to colds. Their immune system needs the work. Seriously - ...


13

Allthough I am not a parent I am diagnosed with PDD-NOS, an autism spectrum disorder, so I think I can try and give an answer. While this might not be the complete case I think it might have something to do with interest. You mentioned how she thinks books are boring and childish. The cause of this is that the contents of the books probably do not seem ...


11

Disclaimer: I am not a professional. This is based on my personal experience going through depression and talking to friends who wen through such ordeals. I wrote this in hope it helps you understand the situation better. First of all - I respect you for caring for your wife throughout her depression. I have an idea how much effort it takes. Speaking from ...


10

The tough truth is that you have to change your lifestyle now. To what extent and how - is your decision and depends on the sort of work you do. But you always can to involve your child into your hobbies and make it beneficial for both of you. This way you'll spend more time with your child and keep doing what you like. Think about you and your family, not ...


8

I have no experience with dementia so I can't tell for sure if this advice will work for you. My answer is based on how my family told me that my niece is autistic and how a friend told me our now mutual other friend has Dystonia. The reason people judge others like your daughter or "put a label" on them is an initial coping mechanism. It's scary unknown ...


8

As a parent, this does strike me as not sounding like you understand how to give your child the basic needs. Providing food and clothing and lights is not enough. Children need to be loved. They need to know you care about them. They do need to be more important than the things you like to do. It doesn't mean you give up everything. Of course you don't ...


7

How can I be encouraging Jane to practice her reading, even if she doesn't recognize any use in it? The best way to convince someone to practice an activity that they don't see a benefit to, is to show them the benefits. My son (just started second grade) is much the same as your daughter. He does not show any interest in learning how to read, and gets ...


6

Your question doesn't provide much information. I got that you are the working parent and that your wife pressure you to spend more time with your child, but don't how much you already spend with her, or even if she wants you to do specific things or just spending time with here whatever you are doing in particular. However, you are way more precise about ...


6

I'd like to suggest something completely different that may work. My source for this is my own nephew who has high functioning autism. Essentially he went from being one of the worst at spelling to one of the best in about the span of a year, without any increase in actual dedicated reading time and we couldn't work out why, until his mum went on Netflix ...


5

Note: High functioning autist here. Since this is interpersonal and not parenting, I think I have valuable input how to talk to autistic people/children. People who themselves aren't or didn't know any to a high degree often have a lot of problem to understand what an autistic kid needs most of all in their life. That thing is: Structure. Schools for ...


5

she doesn't see any use in practicing reading. As someone else already said, show her the use. Show it in an aproppriate way. "You need to read the street signs" or "You cannot order food if you cannot read the menu" I assume both is not a field of any interest for kids. Think about the aproppriate way. "People will think you are stupid" Another ...


5

I think I can provide a different point of view here. The kid's view. I come from completely broken family. My parents divorced when I was ~20 after more or less 10 years of constant bickering, fighting, arguing and 'silent days' which were more like silent weeks/months. I am ~30 now, and while I more or less recovered from most of the damage and pushed my ...


4

My family did a lot of RV travel when I was growing up. In general it was a very positive experience! Most of the people we met were very personable and friendly. Since you're neighbors with these people for two weeks, it's best to stay on their good side. So, I'd approach it like you're asking for a favor, rather than a customer service complaint. Use the ...


3

You can try and reason with the person in question, but I think you'll find it quite difficult to not come across as ... difficult. This is because these people are trying to paint their personal preferences as state law, and they're not likely to listen to you very open mindedly. I would essentially steer the conversation down the following path, ...


3

To know how to say no it helps to know why people want to "borrow" a 7 month old. There are three reasons I can think of: they love the baby and want to spend time with her, they want to do you a favour and lessen your workload a little, or they want to show off to other friends and family how they are trusted caregivers. For the first two, you can meet ...


3

What isn't working Pushing Jane towards reading isn’t working. It is likely that it sets up an oppositional dynamic with the adults around her. To date she has defensively insisted that she doesn’t care what people think or how the board game goes. She can’t back down from that stance without feeling vulnerable, if she drops her defence the adults ‘win’ and ...


3

A good friend of mine does not know who her father is. Her mother never told her. She is now over fifty, her mother died years ago, so she will never be able to answer this question. And during her life, this question was really important for her. I can only tell you that this has been a burden on her for all her life. Her single mother was not able to ...


2

I've heard this method suggested to parents to encourage kids to read: Start by reading a book to her, something a bit longer and with a really engaging storyline. Read on a daily basis (or whatever) to her to really get her interested in the book and make a habit of leaving the book somewhere accessible for the kid. Start ending the reading sessions on ...


2

I think I know how you feel about this situation. Just "think", because I was "the Seth" in my case, living not close, but WITH the family. Being smart, making jokes etc. I did it to be "fun", but life (and family) made it clear that I was not actually fun. So I made an agreement with them (the agreement was my initiative, as a consequence to their ...


2

As tempting as it can be respond this way to a negative interaction, reprisal is rarely helpful (in the adult world reprisal can quickly lead to job loss). Instead it's better to try to deal with the situation directly rather than attack something else they care about. When you've both cooled off you can ask why he yelled at you and try to understand his ...


2

Background My condolences on the loss of your mother-in-law, that is a very difficult situation. Something to note, everyone is grieving and may make even simple interactions more difficult (even if it has been months since the passing). It sounds like the eldest brother might feel like he needs to step up and try to fill the shoes of his parent. On top of ...


1

I only have a partial answer. I'm not a parent, so I can talk about the parenting issue. However, I often have trouble expressing myself. When I'm talking to someone and the conversation gets heated, I lose my words and I'm unable to clearly express myself anymore. I also have the same issue when I have to talk in a situation that I find stressful. Like ...


1

Here is what worked for my brother and I (done by my parents when we were that old) and what I think would be nice additions to it. What it boils down to is that he needs to understand that he has certain duties and responsibilities, especially now that he is reaching an older age (my brother and I got increased freedom with age but also more ...


1

I have two children with ASD and worked with children with autism, specifically to help them learn to read. The biggest obstacle I found is a lack of engagement and motivation to read a book, because the books were all of no relevance to the child. When I created a photobook specifically of the child and of their family, friends, toys, parks they visited etc,...


1

This is similar to other answers, but I think it's a new perspective. It sounds like one of the problems is that reading is being presented as optional when in fact it is compulsory. e.g. she has the choice to stop playing the game rather than reading to continue with it. This is a bit dishonest and confusing/ frustrating to all parties. Jane is annoyed ...


1

As a child I had a very similar scenario with learning to swim. I just wasn't interested in learning, I had floats, I was happy paddling about with them and I wasn't worried about it. My parents tried all sorts of ways to get me to learn. My uncle even hurled me into the pool in a "sink or swim" scenario once. I simply wasn't motivated to do it. In the end,...


Only top voted, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible