250
votes
How to communicate to my mother that I find it hurtful when she cooks dessert for everyone except me who is vegan?
You are asking for something extra
I think it is perfectly fine to be vegan. But if there is a bunch of people to be cooked for, demanding a change of meals because of the wishes of one would be ...
- 2,187
182
votes
Accepted
How can I handle my father challenging everything I say?
My goal is to win these arguments if they occur or to stop them from happening entirely. Everything but losing the argument, basically. How can I do that?
You need to modify your definition of "...
- 3,077
153
votes
Accepted
How can I convey to my technologically inept parents that my IT job is mentally draining
I think I would meet this head-on. Thinking is tiring and both your parents know this because they do it. Something like:
Nothing? When Dad is driving, he is sat in the van, but he's not doing ...
- 44.5k
136
votes
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How to politely refuse telling your parents where you work?
I would just straight up tell them how it is:
Sorry, but I would prefer that you don't know where I work. I feel like you haven't handled this information very professionally in the past [like ...
- 2,465
122
votes
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How to communicate to my mother that I find it hurtful when she cooks dessert for everyone except me who is vegan?
Originally commented on a different answer, but I want to flesh this out into a full response -
Unlike other answers, I don't believe your primary choice is to just accept this as what it is and move ...
- 22.7k
108
votes
Accepted
How to stop dad from telling the same jokes again and again?
There's an aspect of this that you're missing: your father may be repeating those jokes because he thoroughly enjoys them, and because he feels that it's a sort of tradition/bond between the two of ...
- 17.1k
99
votes
Accepted
Responding to my mom's remarks about my love life when she refuses to accept/acknowledge it
Wow, I know them feels...
It usually feels like being caught between a rock and a hard place when people ask questions that you know they can't handle the answers to. The place I've come to with ...
- 54.9k
79
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Responding to my mom's remarks about my love life when she refuses to accept/acknowledge it
If your mother is actually saying soulmate out loud with her mouth, and not man, how about taking her at face value? You can go several ways with it. You could argue that you don't need a partner to ...
- 44.5k
73
votes
How can I handle my father challenging everything I say?
You seem to be an apple that didn't fall far from the tree. When there are two people in an argument who prefer "anything but losing the argument" this is what is going to happen. People are going to ...
- 44.5k
70
votes
How can I invite my daughter's friends over without being odd?
Even though I am located in Germany, this could also be applicable in other locations.
Make it a get together, maybe a BBQ or something like that.
You invite the parents and their kids. Now you have ...
- 4,034
68
votes
Accepted
How do I help my girlfriend get out of this dangerous situation with her parents?
How do we properly inform her parents that she 1) will not be leaving with them, 2) will not be attending college in her home country, and 3) will be moving in with me when they leave?*
You do not. ...
- 8,050
63
votes
Accepted
How best to tell a parent I wish to stop tutoring her son?
Calmly inform
Consider
Unfortunately, your child and I are not making as much progress as I hoped. As such, I no longer find it constructive to continue the tutoring sessions. If you like, I ...
- 1,692
62
votes
Accepted
How can I deny a request from the mother of my girlfriend to tag along on our road trip?
First of all, you have raised a legitimate concern about the size of your car. You have luggage to take, so one possibility is to make this your excuse. It is after all truthful.
You or your ...
- 27.1k
61
votes
How can I tell my mom to not cause herself so much stress when I'm visiting?
I wonder if you and I have the same mother and are sister/brother, but never mind... :)
For decades, my Mom has been exactly the same. Same words, same ideas, same problems, same questions, as the ...
- 22.1k
61
votes
Accepted
How to convince the other party that I'm not going to do "the right thing" as the alternative matters more to me
If you have evaluated that keeping the ball is going to be of more value to you than the feeling of having performed a selfless action, don't be afraid to simply say:
"No, sorry, but this item ...
- 22.7k
61
votes
Telling my mother that I have anorexia without panicking her
If you want to talk to your mother about the issues you're facing right now, I would not advise you to use the word anorexia.
Please be assured: I am not questioning your diagnosis in any way. I ...
- 14.3k
58
votes
Accepted
How do I tell other parents that their child is a bully?
I think you should disclose that information to the dad as you inform him that your son will come to neither the play-dates nor birthday party.
Given that the father states that his son doesn't use ...
- 2,824
56
votes
Accepted
How to say "I'm an adult now" to my parents?
My point of view is a mix of one time rebellious youth and then a parent's point of view....
Your parents will always be your parents, and parenting doesn't end when you come of age. To some degree ...
- 54.9k
50
votes
How do I convince my parents that I'm doing my best in class?
My best friend had something similar happen to her. Her mother wanted her to be the best. She pushed her to always study, get the best grades, get into the best university, graduate with honours, get ...
- 8,050
48
votes
Accepted
How to inform my parents that I didn't like their less than desireable response to my good news?
I am only 21, and my culture is Australian but I think dealing with parents who are very reluctant to accept your personal growth is a fairly universal issue that anyone can have and I do have a lot ...
- 7,123
48
votes
Accepted
Help my mother to understand my choice when it comes to having children
A very powerful way to get your mother to support your choice, or at least to stop arguing with it, is to stop explaining or defending it. She has heard your reasons many times, I am sure. She has ...
- 44.5k
46
votes
How can I ask my parents to stop calling me when I'm out or ask me where I'm going?
Well, I'm a 26-year-old, and I'm also still living with my parents. These struggles are there, but they can be resolved.
I moved back in after living on my own for 4 years, because after graduating ...
- 33.9k
43
votes
How can I ask my parents to stop calling me when I'm out or ask me where I'm going?
I don't think your parents are treating you like a child, but as a resident in their house. My wife likes to know where I am going and if I am home for dinner as well, but she sure ain't my mom ;).
...
- 1,617
42
votes
How can I deny a request from the mother of my girlfriend to tag along on our road trip?
You're being asked for a favor. 'Sorry, but I'd rather not' is a complete sentence and a valid answer to a request for a favor. You're generally under no obligation to justify yourself.
Having said ...
- 2,449
42
votes
Accepted
How to ask parents to respect my privacy
You are in a challenging spot that pretty much every adult can identify with - you feel like an adult, you want to have adult responsibilities and the ability to make adult decisions, yet you're still ...
- 32.4k
40
votes
Accepted
How to help my mother work through extreme anxieties?
Wow, this is a difficult question, and I hate to say "There's nothing you can do," but that's about what it will boil down to.
I can say, sit down and have a rational discussion about everything that'...
- 24.8k
40
votes
How can I convey to my technologically inept parents that my IT job is mentally draining
You're not alone in this. Unfortunately, people who don't work in technology will never fully understand what you do and conflicts like this will happen. I had major issues which parents-in-law coming ...
- 501
36
votes
Accepted
Can I correct other people's children in front of them?
You can definitely say something in the situation you described. You are not correcting the child's behavior, you are just voicing the inconvenience caused by someone to you.
If you see a child ...
- 4,407
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