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149 votes
Accepted

How to miss my own stag/bachelor party?

My suggestion would be to organize your own stag party, this way you get to control what happens and (more importantly) avoid whatever it is you don't want to do or don't agree with about stag parties....
Hex's user avatar
  • 3,061
81 votes

How to miss my own stag/bachelor party?

You decide on a stag party: pick something that can't be corrupted. I was very happy to have a stag party when I got married. However, like you, I wanted to avoid the traditional "masculine" themes ...
Bob Tway's user avatar
  • 1,494
65 votes
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How to behave at a work organized drinking event as a non drinker?

Just some hints. Chat with an old-timer to get stories of past events. This should give you a rough idea what to expect. Volunteer to help with organising, especially during the event. This will give ...
Bookeater's user avatar
  • 4,739
55 votes

How do I effectively forestall gifts for my birthday?

Have your friends bring only modest cards to wish you well. I have a friend (USA) who threw her own birthday party, and invited all her friends. She too said "no gifts", but she mentioned that she ...
John's user avatar
  • 4,239
55 votes
Accepted

How to avoid a friend's birthday party?

You say that what united us was probably our common aversion to things such as loud music and "traditional party culture". So she probably knows that you don't like taking part in loud and large ...
LinuxBlanket's user avatar
  • 9,773
40 votes
Accepted

How do I effectively forestall gifts for my birthday?

Giving money is hard for some people, 10 bucks can look like a lot less than a box full of towels from the dollar store that maybe cost you 5 bucks. Bringing nothing is even harder for some people. ...
Summer's user avatar
  • 8,520
40 votes

Does the food or drink item brought to a potluck need to be large enough to serve everyone?

The basic principle is that total food brought equals (or slightly exceeds, to be safe) total food consumed. Thus, each person who will be eating a meal should bring at least one whole meal's "...
nanoman's user avatar
  • 501
36 votes

How can I invite a friend but not his girlfriend?

There is no polite way to say this as it is an incredibly rude gesture. The underlying problem seems to be that you do not trust your friend's judgement in women. You could go with the honest approach ...
Joe S's user avatar
  • 4,780
35 votes

How do I effectively forestall gifts for my birthday?

Ask for consumables, e.g., food. Food will only clutter up your life until it is eaten. You note that your calendar is pretty full, so experiences don't help. However, I assume that even with a full ...
Stephan Kolassa's user avatar
35 votes
Accepted

Does the food or drink item brought to a potluck need to be large enough to serve everyone?

In general, if everyone brought a dish large enough to serve everyone, there would be far too much food. Suppose you expect 20 people and there are 4 "slots" to make a meal, consisting of an ...
Nuclear Hoagie's user avatar
34 votes

How do I ask why they think I was being creepy?

You should ask where you went wrong at the same time when they tell you this. I'd suggest not to ask it in front of all. You can say like, Oh, thanks for letting me know. I didn't realize. Can you ...
A J's user avatar
  • 7,730
28 votes

How to manage someone flirting with my partner at a party?

If possible, something should be done while it is happening. Move. If you are sitting, ask him to get a you drink (or some other request that will allow you both to move). Then, while he gets up and ...
John's user avatar
  • 4,239
26 votes
Accepted

How rude is "ladies first rule" in USA?

To answer your question: no, the 'ladies first' rule isn't inherently rude. However, the response to your gesture of "ladies first" will vary. Some may take it as patronizing, as if you're insisting ...
BFG95's user avatar
  • 2,889
25 votes
Accepted

Is it rude to stay for only 30 minutes or an hour at my girlfriend's family barbecue?

In most cases like this I would go to the event and be up front in greeting It's great to see you! I'm very sorry but I'm only going to be able to stay around 30 minutes. My parents are expecting ...
Kev Price's user avatar
  • 3,111
25 votes

How to manage someone flirting with my partner at a party?

Ideally you want to have conversations about this subject before it happens. Realistically, unless you want an awkward situation in the moment, you need to clarify expectations in advance. Talk with ...
enderland's user avatar
  • 743
24 votes

How to arrange house parties with limited social group and people keep backing out?

there's not enough to make it worth actually setting up a party, so I typically cancel in the hope I can have better luck on another weekend. Don't cancel - even with just a few people it can turn ...
HorusKol's user avatar
  • 475
23 votes

How can I ask guests not to bring alcohol as host gifts?

When I host a party, I usually always do the same: inform the guests (long enough) before they attend, and tell them what they can expect. Because I know what some friends/coworkers like, but not with ...
OldPadawan's user avatar
  • 22.2k
21 votes

How best to conduct myself if bringing my significant other to a party where they do not know anyone?

I've been the spouse in this situation. My husband and I recently attended the wedding of one of his best friends growing up. I only had ever met the friend and his wife before (at our own wedding) ...
Catija's user avatar
  • 14.2k
19 votes
Accepted

How can I invite a friend but not his girlfriend?

Try viewing the situation in a broader context. It's not really just about this birthday party, after all. If your friend is in a long-term relationship, this is going to come up every time your ...
Monica Cellio's user avatar
19 votes

How to manage someone flirting with my partner at a party?

Apart from the aforementioned discussion with your partner, a very simple, subtle, non-confrontational approach is to ask for an introduction. Something along the lines of: "Hey, honey¹ why don't ...
apaul's user avatar
  • 54.9k
18 votes
Accepted

How to manage someone flirting with my partner at a party?

There are good answers here already about how to directly either get out of that situation or address the issue with your partner, but I'm going to take a different approach and suggest a shift in ...
Kevin's user avatar
  • 454
17 votes
Accepted

How can I subtly tell coworker I don't want a surprise leaving party?

If you know that it's customary you can just say that you're aware of that. I know you all usually throw surprise parties for people who are on their way out... Please don't throw one for me. I ...
apaul's user avatar
  • 54.9k
16 votes

How can I invite a friend but not his girlfriend?

There's no polite way of "hinting" anything. You're going to have to deal with the problem head on, and hope for the best. Just tell your friend the truth: "We all like you, but none of us likes ...
Tom Au's user avatar
  • 5,553
16 votes

When hosting a gathering, how to decline to answer the question "who else is coming"?

"Who's coming?" might mean you're not inviting Bob are you? I'm not coming if Bob is coming is this two people joining you for dinner or 50 people all through your house and yard? am I ...
Kate Gregory's user avatar
  • 44.6k
15 votes

How to behave at a work organized drinking event as a non drinker?

Depending on what type of personality you are, the following may work for you, it certainly does work for me. I prefer to be honest. I participate in parties of this kind, but I make it clear to ...
yo''s user avatar
  • 407
15 votes

How to miss my own stag/bachelor party?

Right after publicly stating that you are going to get married, gather your own close friends (and/or whoever you think might arrange the (possibly surprise-) bachelor party for you) for a pizza or ...
Markino's user avatar
  • 3,391

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