23

I tend to ask very generally about the issue when I find myself in such situations. ie. instead of "Have you used my computer?", I would say: It looks like my computer got moved since I last used it, you haven't noticed anything have you? In this way my question is limited to the thing you noticed that made you suspect someone used your computer, I'...


21

I've found the best way to resolve things that could be heated is to try and leave the other party a way out without losing face. Perhaps say Howdy neighbor I noticed some odd trash in my bin, do you think one of your kids might have mistaken mine for yours? I'd not mind but it costs more money/my bin was too full for my trash. OR Hey neighbor, have ...


7

I feel I've had quite extensive experience of going to concerts and festivals. My first was 1992, my most recent was 2018, and that includes large festivals, medium-sized venues that hold a few thousand, and smaller, more intimate venues of perhaps 200 capacity. In my experience, I've observed that people go to concerts with different goals and expectations....


7

I have practiced several martial arts. In one of them I got close to get a black belt. However I was never interested in really violent martial arts, so I didn't have to deal with blood like you describe, because once I noticed the level of violence, if I wasn't comfortable I changed class. But I had to deal with other kind of issues. I practiced Aikido, for ...


6

I too have struggled with this, so I'll share a few things that I do to help ease the awkwardness. Oftentimes when two people approach a door at the same time, one will open it for the other. Body Language If one person is holding the door for the other, the body language is very simple to read. When I am holding a door open (and I've noticed the same of ...


6

I have been in this situation and situations very similar to this one before, this is how I handle this. Usually when this happens (with friends or very good friends) either me or another of the people in the group will try to divert the conversation. You and others did this, but it did not work. If this still fails after, let's say three tries, then ...


6

Stop asking, start saying In my experience, once you know someone is not likely going to object - you may state it as an assertion, not as a question. I interpret it like it seems he is more disturbed by having to answer the question than someone lowering the blinds. What is a possibility then is just stating I am lowering the blinds And then lower the ...


6

It sounds like you have already figured out this person's motivation for asking you questions - they want to give you advice. "Advice-giver" is a recognised personality trait, and many do it for their own ego gratification. As the opportunity to give advice is evidently what is prompting the questions, if you stop fuelling him by answering them, the advice ...


6

There is a saying "if you have to ask, you can't afford it." This saying isn't true. A simple and honest approach would be I would love to have one of your works but they are so lovely, I suppose I can't afford them. How much would [a small piece, a simpler work, something like that one there] cost me? Note the deliberate wording of "cost me" not just "...


5

Your situation is like this: you only want the cherry from the top of the cake; the instructor wants to be professional and do a proper job. Why do I make this distinction? Because judo, just like most other physical activities, requires more than just mechanically repeating some movements. Judo being a "violent" activity, is (potentially) dangerous even ...


5

This is something I used to run into with my college roommates. It's all too easy to go from "Is this your bowl in the sink?" to "Yea, but you leave your clothes in the washer for days, so who cares?" to a downward spiral with no end. In my years living with messy people, my chief advice here would be to ask yourself: What's your actual goal here? ...


3

My way of handling situations similar to this is to excuse myself from the conversation saying something like: This really isn't a topic I feel like discussing right now, can we get back to [insert previous topic]? This is usually enough with my friend group to softly burst the story tellers bubble a bit so to speak, this gives others a chance to ...


3

So, I have background in Martial Arts. And I understand how you feel. I am the kind of person that goes for the grinding kind of approach, tons of repetitions until I learn the technique, I don't care soo much if it is fun. Having said that, you won't be able to get any instructor to do exactly as you want, however you can make it so it is a bit closer to ...


2

I do not know anything about martial arts. If I have to talk about a fault someone did, I will do it with them in private. If no one is listening the most people can act more "weak" (i.e. understanding, tolerating, maybe apologizing) than in public. In general (if one would avoid confrontation) it is better to talk about oneself. About "my" discomfort ...


2

I have some experience with concerts (mostly heavy-metal ones, but pretty sure it's the same for any genre). Well, you are quite wrong in your statement. Please consider the following types of concerts, and their (basic) characteristics: heavy-metal concerts rules of etiquette kept at a minimum; people unleash their (full?) internal potential and energies;...


1

OP, please clarify your location. However, if you are talking about the USA or Germany, unfortunately it is. I would say it is common behavior when seating is not assigned. I’ve experienced this at various events, and so have my friends. This has happened at concerts and New Years festivities, both indoor and outdoor. It is also generally frowned upon, but ...


1

I usually find what works is phrasing it a bit like "I don't mind, but just wondering if you were using my computer?" - You could add in a bit about why you need to know or if you are just curious, add "just curious..."


1

From the way you describe it in your question, it sounds to me like you're already dealing with the situation perfectly well. As you yourself have said: you let them ramble on, you were honest with them when asked for feedback, then later you distanced yourself from them. It sounds like you have already "convey[ed] that [you're] not interested in him ...


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