47

There are generally 2 reasons why people might ask to see photos: Asking is the socially expected thing to do. In this case the expected response would be a non-committal: Yeah, I'll bring them in sometime. (or something like "they're on my Facebook profile", which presumably doesn't apply here) In most cases people aren't actually going to hold ...


44

What you are looking for is a way to say "no". The second part of this is your reasoning. When I'm asked a question to help someone I'm not interested in helping, I apologize and say, "I'm sorry, it's not possible." There's your "no". The next question is inevitably "why?" and here's where this becomes simple. You ...


42

From what you describe, the department gives you free rein to decide whether to supervise a student (which seems fairly normal, based on this Academia SE post, and my own experience in US universities), so the only issue is how to convey your choice in a polite and professional way. For that I suggest giving impersonal reasons and offering alternatives. If ...


36

(Moving my comment to a full-fledged answer) As well as designating someone/thing, a pointed finger may also be an accusatory gesture. Without any context, the person being pointed at (or people witnessing you pointing at people) might believe you’re accusing instead of designating, and being accused is widely felt as defaming (however justified or not. The &...


19

Pointing your finger at someone is seen as either an adversarial gesture or threatening one. FWIW: in some Asian cultures, it's insulting, as you only point your finger at an animal. About the adversarial/threatening gesture: the finger, as shown straight, stiff, pointed towards a person (not an object), is perceived as the symbol of a weapon (knife, lance, ...


16

I've worked retail in The Netherlands for quite a while. I've had customers point out things that needed my attention. Of course, there's different ways this can be done and some are nicer than others, but in general, people are likely to overthink this: I'm working the store, I'm there to handle situations from 'the toilet ran out of toilet paper' to '...


14

I'd just start with honesty. Saying "My wedding was a private affair and the pictures are not going be shared with anyone (except guests)" should really get the point across that your wedding is none of their business. You can keep repeating it, if neccesary. You don't have to lie about being a private person; I'm pretty sure your colleagues will ...


14

You ask an interesting question. Generally in the US, people are pretty excited about showing off wedding pictures so this is... unexpected. Yet people have the right to be private about things; I know that I am! And people also tend to have a hard time adapting to unexpected behaviors as well. This is a situation where a compromise is a challenge. You don'...


10

I may be wrong here, but I see in your responses a pattern of needing to share your opinion on everything, and needing to be right as well. Let me offer you some words you could use in response to things a person tells you over text: tell me more what's that like? sounds great good idea you're right This gives the other person a chance to feel like they ...


10

I am neither 30 nor from the Balkans, and I’m also not in the online dating world. However, I find it hard to fathom that common netiquette would not apply - as this exact type of conversation can for any type of relationship. This is more or less what I would write for any friend, acquaintance, or colleague: “Hi [name], just wanted to follow up on my last ...


8

However, [pointing your finger at someone to identify them] is also frowned upon by society. Why is that? I am French (you tagged france) and pointing at someone to identify that person is not impolite here. It is typical. French tend to use their hands a lot and pointing at someone (or at a direction) instead of identifying it verbally (what they look like,...


8

It's just a superstition, nothing more. You shouldn't think too much about it. While trying to "explain" superstitions may be interesting from an ethno/anthropographic point of view, trying to rationalize them is silly and counterproductive -- because you may miss the whole point: when people (pretend to) take issue with someone else's innocent ...


8

... in an office environment or while talking to friends ... I think you have 2 very different settings and backgrounds here. I never had a problem with family, friends and acquaintances, but I had to train and train (and repeat) again when I had to talk to people in an office or giving a presentation. That's why I'll focus on the professional part. And ...


7

A friend of mine which had a similar aversion had himself diagnosed and treated for minor OCD and I believe he handles the situation better now. Without saying you have OCD or that you should follow therapy, you should consider that, in the situation you describe: It's very tempting for someone to touch your phone if you are showing something on it. People ...


5

Pointing at people is a problem in some circumstances but by no means always. Talking with a coworker about tasks is right on the cusp. Like laughing, pointing "at" people is often bad but it doesn't have to be. There's no direct pointing equivalent to laughing "with" people but "to" might serve. If you're in any kind of charge ...


4

To ask questions that most people will find pleasant and interesting to answer, make those questions about the person and their thoughts and experiences, not about the details of the topic. For example, you mentioned you had two friends talking about driving cars. You don't have any experience with this, and you started asking them technical questions. Most ...


4

In my dealings with businesses and people in general, I find that sometimes the most tactful approach is also the most direct. Instead of asking, "Why are there so few reviews?"--which feels like a grilling--ask instead, "Where might we see the earlier reviews?" If you are writing an email or letter, you might say something like the ...


4

Interpersonal skills are the behaviors people use to interact well. You're blocked, that's the other person putting up a boundary. Respecting that boundary is the interpersonal skill that you could and should use to save face. You've apologized to her in two places, presumably the rest of the group can see the apology you left her there. Leaving her alone is ...


4

How do I let this person know that I find these kinds of replies unhelpful? Telling someone their feedback isn't helpful is by itself not helpful either. Unless this person is intentionally giving you bad advice (which I doubt based on the comments they made), it'd be more effective to help steer their feedback. Something along the lines of: I was looking ...


4

There really is no single answer to this. Sometimes, there is no need for "response time" at all. You want a blank form or the list they keep of whatevers, they just immediately hit reply and give you the thing. Explaining why you need it right away is not needed in this case and could even be seen as rude. If your situation is unusual, you should explain ...


4

Etiquette generally says: "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" for international travel, but it can also easily be applied to travelling to other regions with other cultural customs within a single country. That means that for your first question: Given that, if someone from Montpellier comes to visit someone in Lyon, how many times should they ...


4

My "theory" on eye contact comes from doing presentations and teaching classes. My first few attempts at such were pretty bad, where I was much in the same state as the OP, not knowing exactly how to proceed with eye contact. The thing to focus on is why we make eye contact. It gives us the non-verbal feedback, the visual cues. We've all had the ...


4

Some people find talking in social situations much easier and can seemingly break into a group straight away, but that isn't always a good thing. Most social groups build up gradually and organically over time, and people don't instantly break into them as easily as you might think. When you see someone loudly and confidently breaking into a new social group,...


3

Reading your conversation, there is a small thing that sticks out for me, even though you don't seem to focus on that. B says Hmm, I can say you have your own thoughts, but it’s quite unbearable for me. I mean, as a friend, I'm willing to listen to you talking or ranting or just giving out your opinions in stuff. and later you say I hope you do know ...


3

I cannot judge on whether the committee members’ comments on your attitude are justified as I was not present at the event; and much of people’s impressions on one’s attitude often have to do with the way, the facial expressions and the demeanour in which one spoke. The reason why the adjudicators regarded your remarks that you did all the work alone as ...


3

While it may indeed be seen as rather rude to keep insisting after having been brushed off a few times, I think you could improve your initial request to make the chances of getting an answer slightly bigger. Instead of just asking for the numbers, also explain your reason for asking before the actual question. In your case, the reason would be that you have ...


2

Do a peer review. Let person1 give their files for checking to person2. Person2 gives it to person3 and so on. Before the peer review, the group leader informs everyone of the rules and consequences. Once everyone is satisfied with the files, the leader submits it. You don't even have to meet. It can be done online. Btw, a reality of all group projects is ...


2

The "read receipt" is a red herring. I often click on newly received instant messages on my phone in situations where I am unable to respond. This triggers a read receipt, but it does not mean that (1) I was able to fully read the message, (2) that I had time to think about the issue or (3) that I had time to deal with the issue and reply. Since my ...


2

I think you, as a retired psychiatrist, no doubt are well-versed with these principles of which you may perhaps wish to remind yourself from time to time: When a friend shows her care in a way that is unhelpful, it does not mean she would want to burden you or impose some sort of solutions on you. It probably means she is so desperate to help you out the ...


2

why is it that society finds it rude to point at people? What's the harm in doing that? There have been many useful answers. My answer may not be entirely new but I shall try to introduce new factors. Culture Gestures are generally culture-dependent. For example showing the soles of your feet/shoes is very disrespectful to some cultures and not to others. I ...


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