52

If it were me I would just practice what I would say. I didn't have this with my class reunion, but oddly I ended up with someone from my home town and had some angst over his class reunion. The point is I decided what I would say, rehearsed that and had it ready. It need not be complex. Hi,it's nice to see you are doing well. If you can excuse me, I ...


25

I have had this happen to me, so I'll pitch in. Meet and greet him like you would any other from way back when If he has grown up by the slightest amount he will be slightly ashamed and uncertain how to handle meeting you. If he is not, pity him - but don't give him any attention. You don't have to, anymore. I remember very well that just meeting my ...


9

My ideal outcome would be to end the conversation as quickly as possible, without being confrontational, but also without being false – I don’t want to pretend I like Brian when I don’t. You can do just that. Look up ways to exit a conversation and you can engage in small talk about what's changed in profession, school or life and easily end it, since this ...


8

Quite easy to decide: Is there anyone else you want to see and vice versa? Would you go to a party instead of a reunion with the very same people? If the answer is yes, go, else don't go. It does not make sense to go if ostracism goes on and you don't feel welcome. Don't let guilt you into participating. If you decide to go, the question remains how to ...


6

An alternative point of view. How much do you really want to be attending this reunion? As someone who was profoundly bullied all the way through school (and I mean all the way, from age 5 until I left at 18, with daily physical, verbal and emotional abuse), getting away was by far the best thing for me. I used to come home at Xmas and go out at New Year ...


4

Another alternative is described in this answer on the Workplace. Its effectiveness depends a bit on how embarrassing the story still is and if you can handle it. If you cannot beat them, join them. Join in. Make jokes about it yourself. Next time someone mentions it, say something like: Oh by the way, anybody need the kettle today? I ...


3

To answer the part of your question in bold; if he approaches you in a cheerful manner I think you should call him out on his past behavior. Oh hey Brian. God, what a dick you were in high school. I'm sure you grew out of it, but damn man, (had to get that off my chest for a minute). How have you been? Here you acknowledge his past behavior to you, ...


3

About 25 years ago, there was a guy in school who used to bully me from time to time – at other times however, we were something like good friends. 2 years ago, I met him again and we chatted a bit together. Later in the conversation (he always was a big TV fan) he mentioned the TV series "My Name Is Earl" where the main character had a list of persons whom ...


3

You just brush him off and ignore him. Like you said, you outgrown the problem and you will not gain anything from talking with Brian. Simply respond to his question and move along with any conversation you had prior to that. Being rude in this case is the right answer.


2

High School reunions have a weird way of putting us right where we were socially and emotionally then. It's the only experience your classmates had with most of each other, so... I can see a bully wanting to relive his days as "joking around". But you're an adult now. Maybe the bully is, too. Maybe he was put in his place and has regrets, but you'll never ...


2

You cannot control the actions of others. The majority of people who get together for "old time's sake" (high school and college reunions) do so to remember the good times they had together back then (not, as you might imagine, to network, learn who is doing better/worse/has changed, other). Since that embarrassing story about you is part of someone's "good ...


2

I think what you have to consider here is that there is no catch all answer. There are a list of answers here that range from embracing him and forgiving him to blowing him off to not going to the reunion at all, and they are all valid options. The bottom line is, you were the victim of Brian’s bullying you. That means you have the right to proceed with ...


1

Regarding the people that ghosted me and their circles, I'm hoping to minimize the awkward tension. I'm not sure how to go about doing so. This is the question I'd like help with the most - how do I act on my end to achieve this? You can best achieve it by simply treating them the same way you treat every other former classmate whom you haven't seen (...


1

Freedom is what you make of what has been done to you. As a person who has had certain things done to him while at school, things I did not appreciate and did not ask for I do know what you went through You should absolutely take this opportunity to see this person again. If for no other reason as to get personal closure. He may have changed or he may not ...


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