Hot answers tagged

319

There joined a new cashier in my local food product market. My Question is how can I ask for her number, or ask her out for a coffe while she is only sitting at the cash point? I would strongly advise you do neither of these things. But what is your advice? Should I just hope that I will meet her after work at the parking area? And I'd even more ...


301

"I am too old for her" is a decision, and not one that's yours to make. "She is too young for me" is your decision to make, but it doesn't seem to worry you at all. So assuming you don't want to make her decisions for her, let's rephrase your question to "How do I tell her my age?" Look what happens when you make that mental change. When you think about ...


243

As someone who has been the boyfriend in this scenario, tell him. I can completely understand your concerns but you need to find out sooner rather than later. What if he treats me differently? He might, and you need to know as soon as possible. In my situation the person had the same career as myself but had some spectacularly lucky (wise?) investments ...


162

The default reaction of people these days is "I'm not gonna judge", but ... I'm going to go there. But first I'll address your actual question, then you can stop reading. ;D The problem is that you don't have any way of telling if he is actually into you, if he's just enjoying the occasional peek at a vibrant young lady, or if you're misreading the cues. ...


148

I find the other answers very unusual, which illustrates there must be some kind of cultural difference at play. Where I grew up (the UK) it is completely normal, typical and acceptable to engage in conversation with shopkeepers. Sometimes the entire queue could stop and simply have a collective chat with the shopkeeper about some random thing, such as the ...


117

Judging by the answers already given, I'm apparently alone in that I find the whole thing kind of...funny? I'm picturing putting myself in the girlfriend's shoes. My boyfriend sits me down, very seriously, to tell me he needs to talk. I obviously fear the worst. Then he tells me that for 9 months I've been buying him books by the wrong author. I've spent ...


105

and made it as clear as I could that it was going to be just the two of us and that it's not going to be like our regular interactions. This sounds to me like you did not explicitly mention the word 'Date'. If there is a reason why you absolutely could not do that, please tell me and don't read the rest of the answer. I'm a girl, and bad at taking hints. ...


94

If he's the type of person who will treat you differently once he knows, it might be good to know this sooner rather than later. You say, He often offers to pay for things and I try to go halfsies with him because I feel bad, but he sometimes insists because he's the guy. [emphasis mine] I suggest that you take him out to dinner. Nowhere above his pay ...


94

I post from the perspective of being a vegetarian myself and my boyfriend eating meat. I think it's very important to talk more to her. It's important that you respect each others diets and this should come for both sides. For my boyfriend and I this means we cook mostly vegetarian with sometimes some meat on the side. Sometimes, especially when there also ...


90

You could do it this way; One thing you could do, since you go often to that store, is: start building a basic "relationship" with the cashier. Meaning; talking to her each time you go shopping, exchanging some humor and eventually get to know her name. That's not inappropriate at all and could happen in a nice way without putting her in an ...


83

Don't. Being friendly is literally part of their job description. There's no way to know whether the "signs" you are picking up on are actually signals and not them just doing their job. Ask yourself how well you actually know them. Have you had a conversation about anything that isn't related to their work? The checkout line isn't the place to have real ...


83

From personal experiences, it's always going to be sort of awkward, because very few can act like a suave George Clooney-esque character from a movie, so just embrace the awkwardness and have fun with it. Even in movies they usually cut from the bar lounge to the bedroom. Hell, even living with a significant other for 10+ years and moving from the living ...


82

You are a man, she is a woman. If there were a reliable way of reading her intentions, half of all books, movies, plays, songs, operas and other artwork would not exist. You need to approach this question not from an angle of knowing, but from a position of high uncertainty. You will never reach certainty until you straight out ask. However, at least in ...


77

It’s not much of an answer—Kate Gregory’s is much more useful—but it’s “answer-ish” and I don’t think it’s appropriate for a comment, so: You are blowing the age gap out of proportion I am thirty, and a very good friend of mine, younger than me, is marrying a man older than you next month. We couldn’t be happier for her: he’s an incredible guy, and so many ...


73

Welcome to the world of adults and the responsibilities of forming adult relationships. Your relationship status is not just your concern; you are part of broader communities which included society in general, broad circles of friends, your close friends, your intimate friends, broader family, and close family. All of these circles feel the effect of your ...


69

When this happened to me, I just said (my girlfriend and I had already talked about it, so we knew what we wanted to say, and how): we're way too young and have a looong list of things to do before we can talk about that! We first need to settle down, secure a nice job, make a good living, and then, we'll see... If it's time for it (get married), we'll ...


69

First off, you're never obligated to have sex with anyone ever. That's worth repeating so, you're never obligated to have sex with anyone ever. Not. Ever. If you don't really really want to, you don't have to, no matter what. With that said... Often the best approach is the honest and direct one. Talk to them. Tell them how you're really feeling. Tell ...


59

You are thinking too much into this. It doesn't matter whether or not his family would like to spend some alone time with him or not. Seeing how your relationship is somewhat serious the social expectation for the family is to try to accept you as becoming part of that family. If they would somehow even try to ask for your boyfriend to come without you it ...


47

My only question is: How do I approach a conversation about this with him (if there is any to be had). I don't want to be some sort of home wrecker, but he is giving me signals as if he wants something. I am so confused. I'm not sure what you're confused about. Are you confused because he's giving indications of being attracted to you though he has a wife? ...


44

Have you tried making a joke such as, "Never - we plan on living in sin forever." or "Until just after our first child." or even "Until people stop asking..." and then when they look shocked, tell them you were only joking :-) Doing this would obviously require you and your SO to be secure and comfortable with each other, and having a ...


44

I am usually very secretive about my income. No one really knows how much I make and I was taught to never talk about money to friends. I make about ten times what my boyfriend does. He's also a professional and makes good money himself. We've discussed money before but I've always just avoided the subject. This is awesome. Perfect! This works well for ...


44

People use a number of different signals to indicate that they are interested in physical intimacy. The signals someone uses will depend on how comfortable they are with you as well as their communication style. These typically fall into two categories: verbal and non-verbal. Verbal cues The verbal cues that people use range from extremely subtle to ...


42

Hate to break the news, but this is often a part of dating vegetarians... Like anyone with strong moral/ethical convictions they're very often inclined to want their partners to share their convictions or at the very least be considerate of them. From the sounds of things, your partner very likely wants you to adopt a vegetarian diet. If you're not ...


41

Hormonal birth control pills come with a very interesting set of side effects listed, some of which are of a psychological nature (mood shifts, etc.). It would, perhaps, be best for both of you if you read that list of side effects, and discussed whether it would be a good idea to continue using them - there are, after all, other contraceptive options ...


40

You may be worrying excessively because you are scared of the possible consequences. Of course, if this is important to you then you are right to take care! But you are telling us that you already believe dating is acceptable, and that you and your friend are already "very close" and both aware of Western culture. You have good reason to believe she could ...


39

Short version : Both your behaviors are inappropriate, but the age difference and connection makes that doubly bad for him. There's a rule of thumb : you should not be dating or in a relationship with someone whose age is less than around half you age plus seven years. "Vic" is 44. That rule of thumb puts his lower limit age range at about 29. So you're ...


39

Non-violent communication approach I'm a person with a strong aversion for arguments and violent discussion, so here's how I would approach her with this: Hi Alice, I heard you saying my name last night during your party. I couldn't help but listening to your conversation and I would like to say that when I heard you telling the story of the incident, I ...


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