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151 votes
Accepted

How do I politely ask my friend for a refund on unused rent?

There's no gentle way to say this, so I'll be blunt: You had a business arrangement, and reneged. Your friend put that apartment at your disposal, however you acted on irrational fears, and decided ...
AndreiROM's user avatar
  • 17.1k
111 votes

How to get across to flatmates the reason behind not wanting to live with them again?

In short, don't bother. They know what happened. Going out of your way to rub it in and try to get something out of it is unrealistic. Even considering being polite after someone stole cutlery is ...
Onyz's user avatar
  • 1,933
110 votes
Accepted

My roommate is making me pay too much for rent. How can I confront him?

New parameters = new deal. When he first offered to sublet his apartment, it was the FULL room/space with all amenities at your OWN benefit. Which is obviously not the case anymore. No matter what ...
OldPadawan's user avatar
  • 22.1k
85 votes
Accepted

How to negotiate with landlady in a shared home who flat out says "no"?

In the absence of anything explicit in your tenancy agreement, this comes down to what you can negotiate with them. Ultimately it's their place and if they never intended for you to store items ...
Will Appleby's user avatar
  • 2,493
73 votes

How should I approach a situation in which I made a female roommate uncomfortable?

I, too, found your name telling (yes, actually, though most likely a joke, it's telling.) I'm sure you meant it as a joke. That doesn't mean it isn't offensive. I take it you're a male. You might ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
69 votes
Accepted

Different budgets within roommate group

This is my premise: A roommate has the right to be sparing and conservative with their spending A roommate has the right to spend their money as they please, as long as they meet their agreed-upon ...
Reubens4Dinner's user avatar
66 votes

Asking landlord to stop letting himself in the house

I have had a similar problem in the past. Your landlord is disregarding your privacy as well as your rights as a tenant. They know that what they are doing is illegal, and still, they do it. They ...
justathought's user avatar
  • 1,432
54 votes

How to deal with a suite mate who gossips about me within the first few days of move-in

You guys got off on the wrong foot, which is not to say that things might not change for the better (or worse). Very few of us actually stop and try to look at things from the other person's point ...
AndreiROM's user avatar
  • 17.1k
52 votes
Accepted

How to deal with a friend I live with who doesn't want to pay bills when he's not there?

EDIT: I see now that he actually is one of the renters which makes this a lot more troublesome. I'd take the discussion in a sort of similar direction either way. If your friends wants to keep his ...
Robzor's user avatar
  • 2,016
50 votes

How to negotiate with landlady in a shared home who flat out says "no"?

A negotiation requires two parties which are both open to a change in the status quo. You can't negotiate with a person unwilling to negotiate. The reason why people won't negotiate is usually ...
Philipp's user avatar
  • 1,779
49 votes
Accepted

Resolve conflicts with my roommates now that my parents expect my cat, which occasionally poops outside its litter box, to stay with me permanently

"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need." It sounds like your only option is to live with the cat and try to square it with your roommates....
apaul's user avatar
  • 54.8k
49 votes

How to get across to flatmates the reason behind not wanting to live with them again?

How to get out of the situation: Don't ask them to take you off their application. Some have already turned it in. Instead, go to housing placement and request directly there to not be placed with ...
Erin Thursby's user avatar
  • 1,970
44 votes

Different budgets within roommate group

I've lived with roommates several times, and sometimes finances and desires varied within the group. The key idea that worked for us is: there is no household property. Rather, you own that couch ...
Monica Cellio's user avatar
41 votes

My roommate is making me pay too much for rent. How can I confront him?

I am faculty in a Swedish university, so I have at least some passing knowledge of the student housing situation. I would strongly encourage you to keep the legal angle out of the picture, even ...
xLeitix's user avatar
  • 2,213
40 votes

How to ask roommates not to use so much of common spaces for personal meetings

I live in a large shared house with with several roommates. The company that owns the house tries to rent it out to international people (however I am not international myself). If the landlords like ...
FeralSquirrel's user avatar
38 votes
Accepted

How to let someone know he hurt me without spreading negative feelings

Non-violent communication approach I'm a person with a strong aversion for arguments and violent discussion, so here's how I would approach her with this: Hi Alice, I heard you saying my name last ...
avazula's user avatar
  • 14.3k
36 votes

How to get along with European roommates?

Honestly, I've had pretty much all of these experiences just being an America living with American roommates. I don't think nationality has anything to do with it, which honestly seems evident with ...
apaul's user avatar
  • 54.8k
36 votes

How to negotiate with landlady in a shared home who flat out says "no"?

Start by understanding that you and your landlord have a fundamental disagreement. You say shared home with roommates But everything the landlady has said suggests that she views it as a home ...
Mark Perryman's user avatar
35 votes

How to deal with a friend I live with who doesn't want to pay bills when he's not there?

Your situation is an all or nothing situation. First, what does your contract state? Otherwise: If he wants to stay with his girlfriend, that's his choice and he is absolutaly free to do so. However, ...
Martijn's user avatar
  • 5,523
34 votes

Resolve conflicts with my roommates now that my parents expect my cat, which occasionally poops outside its litter box, to stay with me permanently

You say the problem with your room mates is due to the fact sometimes the cat goes outside of the litter tray. Now, if this is the only problem they have with the cat, then the solution is likely to ...
djsmiley2kStaysInside's user avatar
34 votes

How to get roommates to speak same language

I was in your situation when I was in Erasmus in France. I used to hang out with this large group of Spanish people. They were all very nice, easy-going, open, and almost all of them spoke an ...
LinuxBlanket's user avatar
  • 9,763
32 votes
Accepted

How to establish boundaries with a roommate without confrontation?

The clearest way to make somebody aware of how their actions make you feel without taking a confrontational tone is to use "I statements." When talking to your roommate, focus on stating how you feel. ...
spiral succulent's user avatar
30 votes
Accepted

Asking my new roommate for overdue payments

I think you've put the right answer in your original question already. Assume good intentions, he probably forgot. He just needs a reminder that he forgot to do something important, and that should be ...
Erik's user avatar
  • 7,274
30 votes
Accepted

How do I ask someone to be my roommate?

If you are afraid that people could become upset because you asked "their" roommates to leave, you could phrase it more as a question for help than a question specifically for that person to join you. ...
Tode's user avatar
  • 646
29 votes

Apologizing to an old roommate

If you are like me, you will live with that remorse forever. Hell, I still remember stupid stuff I did as a kid and never had the chance to apologize and set it free... My advice is to do what you (...
OneEyedBandit's user avatar
25 votes

Asking landlord to stop letting himself in the house

You mention that this guy isn't actually the sole landlord. In this situation I recommend that you "talk to the organ grinder, not the monkey"; that is speak to the person that is really in charge, ...
Astralbee's user avatar
  • 27k
24 votes
Accepted

Non-tech savvy roommate thinks I hacked into his computer because when he scans wifi it shows my printer connected

He thinks you are hacking into his computer. And quite obviously if you did, you would lie about to him about it, and since you would know more about computers than he does, you would be able to come ...
gnasher729's user avatar
  • 6,235
23 votes

How do I politely ask my friend for a refund on unused rent?

You help him place somebody else in there It's the standard rule of breaking a lease: Your responsibility to pay the lease ends the moment someone else is paying rent. Then, with impunity, you can ...
Harper - Reinstate Monica's user avatar

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