152
votes
Accepted
How do I politely ask my friend for a refund on unused rent?
There's no gentle way to say this, so I'll be blunt:
You had a business arrangement, and reneged.
Your friend put that apartment at your disposal, however you acted on irrational fears, and decided ...
- 17.1k
112
votes
How to get across to flatmates the reason behind not wanting to live with them again?
In short, don't bother.
They know what happened. Going out of your way to rub it in and try to get something out of it is unrealistic. Even considering being polite after someone stole cutlery is ...
- 1,953
111
votes
Accepted
My roommate is making me pay too much for rent. How can I confront him?
New parameters = new deal.
When he first offered to sublet his apartment, it was the FULL room/space with all amenities at your OWN benefit. Which is obviously not the case anymore.
No matter what ...
- 22.1k
85
votes
Accepted
How to negotiate with landlady in a shared home who flat out says "no"?
In the absence of anything explicit in your tenancy agreement, this comes down to what you can negotiate with them. Ultimately it's their place and if they never intended for you to store items ...
- 2,563
73
votes
How should I approach a situation in which I made a female roommate uncomfortable?
I, too, found your name telling (yes, actually, though most likely a joke, it's telling.)
I'm sure you meant it as a joke. That doesn't mean it isn't offensive. I take it you're a male.
You might ...
- 24.8k
69
votes
Accepted
Different budgets within roommate group
This is my premise:
A roommate has the right to be sparing and conservative with their spending
A roommate has the right to spend their money as they please, as long as they meet their agreed-upon ...
- 1,115
66
votes
Asking landlord to stop letting himself in the house
I have had a similar problem in the past.
Your landlord is disregarding your privacy as well as your rights as a tenant. They know that what they are doing is illegal, and still, they do it. They ...
- 1,462
54
votes
How to deal with a suite mate who gossips about me within the first few days of move-in
You guys got off on the wrong foot, which is not to say that things might not change for the better (or worse).
Very few of us actually stop and try to look at things from the other person's point ...
- 17.1k
52
votes
Accepted
How to deal with a friend I live with who doesn't want to pay bills when he's not there?
EDIT: I see now that he actually is one of the renters which makes this a lot more troublesome. I'd take the discussion in a sort of similar direction either way.
If your friends wants to keep his ...
- 2,026
51
votes
Accepted
Resolve conflicts with my roommates now that my parents expect my cat, which occasionally poops outside its litter box, to stay with me permanently
"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need."
It sounds like your only option is to live with the cat and try to square it with your roommates....
- 54.9k
50
votes
How to get across to flatmates the reason behind not wanting to live with them again?
How to get out of the situation:
Don't ask them to take you off their application. Some have already turned it in. Instead, go to housing placement and request directly there to not be placed with ...
- 2,010
50
votes
How to negotiate with landlady in a shared home who flat out says "no"?
A negotiation requires two parties which are both open to a change in the status quo. You can't negotiate with a person unwilling to negotiate.
The reason why people won't negotiate is usually ...
- 1,809
44
votes
Different budgets within roommate group
I've lived with roommates several times, and sometimes finances and desires varied within the group. The key idea that worked for us is: there is no household property. Rather, you own that couch ...
- 17.2k
42
votes
My roommate is making me pay too much for rent. How can I confront him?
I am faculty in a Swedish university, so I have at least some passing knowledge of the student housing situation.
I would strongly encourage you to keep the legal angle out of the picture, even ...
- 2,253
41
votes
How to ask roommates not to use so much of common spaces for personal meetings
I live in a large shared house with with several roommates. The company that owns the house tries to rent it out to international people (however I am not international myself).
If the landlords like ...
- 527
39
votes
Accepted
How to let someone know he hurt me without spreading negative feelings
Non-violent communication approach
I'm a person with a strong aversion for arguments and violent discussion, so here's how I would approach her with this:
Hi Alice, I heard you saying my name last ...
- 14.3k
36
votes
How to get along with European roommates?
Honestly, I've had pretty much all of these experiences just being an America living with American roommates. I don't think nationality has anything to do with it, which honestly seems evident with ...
- 54.9k
36
votes
How to negotiate with landlady in a shared home who flat out says "no"?
Start by understanding that you and your landlord have a fundamental disagreement.
You say
shared home with roommates
But everything the landlady has said suggests that she views it as a home ...
- 460
35
votes
How to deal with a friend I live with who doesn't want to pay bills when he's not there?
Your situation is an all or nothing situation.
First, what does your contract state? Otherwise:
If he wants to stay with his girlfriend, that's his choice and he is absolutaly free to do so. However, ...
- 5,513
35
votes
Resolve conflicts with my roommates now that my parents expect my cat, which occasionally poops outside its litter box, to stay with me permanently
You say the problem with your room mates is due to the fact sometimes the cat goes outside of the litter tray.
Now, if this is the only problem they have with the cat, then the solution is likely to ...
- 1,514
34
votes
How to get roommates to speak same language
I was in your situation when I was in Erasmus in France. I used to hang out with this large group of Spanish people. They were all very nice, easy-going, open, and almost all of them spoke an ...
- 9,773
32
votes
Accepted
How to establish boundaries with a roommate without confrontation?
The clearest way to make somebody aware of how their actions make you feel without taking a confrontational tone is to use "I statements." When talking to your roommate, focus on stating how you feel.
...
- 1,524
31
votes
Accepted
How do I ask someone to be my roommate?
If you are afraid that people could become upset because you asked "their" roommates to leave, you could phrase it more as a question for help than a question specifically for that person to join you. ...
- 656
30
votes
Accepted
Asking my new roommate for overdue payments
I think you've put the right answer in your original question already. Assume good intentions, he probably forgot. He just needs a reminder that he forgot to do something important, and that should be ...
- 7,284
30
votes
Apologizing to an old roommate
If you are like me, you will live with that remorse forever. Hell, I still remember stupid stuff I did as a kid and never had the chance to apologize and set it free...
My advice is to do what you (...
- 2,080
25
votes
Asking landlord to stop letting himself in the house
You mention that this guy isn't actually the sole landlord. In this situation I recommend that you "talk to the organ grinder, not the monkey"; that is speak to the person that is really in charge, ...
- 27.1k
24
votes
Accepted
Non-tech savvy roommate thinks I hacked into his computer because when he scans wifi it shows my printer connected
He thinks you are hacking into his computer. And quite obviously if you did, you would lie about to him about it, and since you would know more about computers than he does, you would be able to come ...
- 6,335
23
votes
How do I politely ask my friend for a refund on unused rent?
You help him place somebody else in there
It's the standard rule of breaking a lease: Your responsibility to pay the lease ends the moment someone else is paying rent.
Then, with impunity, you can ...
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