Podcast #128: We chat with Kent C Dodds about why he loves React and discuss what life was like in the dark days before Git. Listen now.
162

Make the conversation about experience . . . and baby steps. I'm a regular runner. I compete at a DIII school, and I've been running for . . . maybe eight years now. I've been both the overeager person and the person trying to hold back someone who's overeager. It's kind of a difficult situation for everyone, sometimes exacerbated if the other runner is ...


145

I am Indian and it's considered good etiquette here to receive a compliment with indirect modesty. So I have tended to focus on the specific requirements or challenges of the job rather than my own qualities like smartness, when somebody asks such a question. Example: Q: "So you must be really smart?" A: "Oh this job requires a lot of concentration, ...


125

The way I've dealt with this situation is to ask my server if I could be moved to a different table. It's a little loud over here could we move to another table? Perhaps outside? Approaching the parents of the screaming child isn't likely to go well for anyone, they're already stressed and preoccupied, just don't. Asking to move to a new table solves ...


109

(Preface: Some people have taken offense at how pro-parent this answer is. There's good reason for this. In any meaningful interpersonal situation, we have to pay attention to the mindset of both parties in order to find the best solution. Everyone knows the mindset of the person who has to hear the child screaming. We've all been there. Those without ...


103

Bluntly, most people will see it as very rude. Even if it's not your intention, it's as if you were asking if that pregnancy was rather the result of an informed choice following a measured reflection or their failing to use birth control and then trying to make a mistake pass as a success. If they want you to know if it was planned or not, they will tell ...


98

I used to be a member of the Austin film community - rife with "working for credit". Part of why I found a job that isn't like this is that I really, really didn't like being in exactly the position you're in. I completely agree that it can be really uncomfortable to ask this but it's important for you to value your own time - you only have so much of it, so ...


90

Please do not be offended, but I feel like you might be the kind of person that doesn't pick up on subtle social interactions. It could also be the case if English isn't your first language, or you are not originally from this (presumably) Western culture where this exchange is taking place. I don't have any opinion on most things ... People get offended ...


87

Assuming you're planning on taking a maternity leave and then coming back to work, that is the only thing you need to tell your boss. Bosses like to plan workload and know if people are going to be away. It's not that you're sharing your personal good news with them. So, send them an email asking for a 15 minute meeting. Before the meeting (Before asking ...


80

While I am from the UK, I feel my answer can apply here too. In the Theory Test aspect of getting a UK driving licence, one of the potential questions is this exact scenario. The correct answer is to always remain calm and continue driving safely. When on the roads you should never feel intimidated to drive faster, always drive at safe speeds. The driver ...


74

As a UK native, to me, it can be considered impolite to not say thank you to the bus driver, but I wouldn't consider it rude. Your friend might not be doing it on purpose. Being rude to the bus driver would be purposely saying rude things to him, rather than just walking off the bus. There is no expectation to say thank you on the bus driver's part. You can ...


72

The website for that hike has a great page on the required fitness: Is the GR20 for you? The minimum capability is: You should be able to walk 3h00 steeply uphill, followed by a 3h00 descent on rocky ground, whilst carrying a rucksack of around 10+ kilos. You need to be at ease scrambling, walking on scree and large blocks. Below are some relevant UK ...


70

What I'm wondering is: Is this rude to the other users of the room? Yeah. People respond to being intentionally ignored in a chat room about as well as they do to being ignored in real life. (Which is really, really poorly). A public chat room is a shared space, where multiple conversations can happen at the same time, and anyone can join in and ...


70

What works for me with the food pushing relatives is: Saying something like "I'm sure it's delicious / That looks nice - but I don't want any at the moment" the first time. This should make it clear to well-meaning people that you don't have anything against their food, you're just not hungry/in the mood. Saying a brief and neutral "No, thank you" about 1 ...


68

This is going to be amazingly hard to pull off, without making people frown a little. You rightfully remark that outright declining to answer the question will be seen as strange: since I'm reacting as if I were asked a deeply personal question while, in their eyes, they were just making conversation. 'Where are you from' is a form of small talk. ...


62

I'm going start by challenging this a little bit. There are a couple of things to keep in mind. Each of the two parties in an interaction have their perspective and desired goal of the interaction. Yours, in this instance, is to receive your coffee and be treated politely. The cashier's, on the other hand, is to serve as many people as possible with as ...


58

Some people just want to know this trivia, no matter how irrelevant it is for them afterwards. Maybe you'll say a country they've visited and they will follow-up with "I loved city X" or "monument Z" and others just want to know that "George T is Y-ian" Since you've moved in the last decade, I'm assuming you feel pretty comfortable where you live now, so ...


56

One of my roommates, when I was younger, worked in a call center... Believe it or not, the people calling you hate doing it more than you hate being called. He didn't last long working there, but came home pretty beaten down at the end of the day. From what he said, the very best thing to do is to simply not answer the phone. The auto dialer just moves to ...


55

Yeah, it's unfortunate people behave this way. However, reading what you've written it sounds like you might initiate those encounters with an angry or annoyed tone. While you have every right to feel that way, maybe try to approach people more calmly and politely. Just ask them, as calm as a Buddhist monk, "Excuse me, would you mind turning off your cell ...


51

It is never rude to drive the speed limit Despite how the tailgater may feel about it, the speed limit is an upper bound on the legal speed for the road. While we all speed from time to time, we shouldn't complain about being forced to follow a law that's often ignored. Tailgating itself is both rude and illegal. In the driver's education and defensive ...


51

You guys got off on the wrong foot, which is not to say that things might not change for the better (or worse). Very few of us actually stop and try to look at things from the other person's point of view. You're not really doing that right now either. You know you were busy for those two days. You know you had good reasons to not interact. So how dare ...


51

I'm not sure that you can get them to stop laughing. What you might be able to do is to shift the meaning of the laughter. Rather than say, "Well, actually, not all wines are vegan", consider the following conversation: Actually, even things made entirely from plants can be non-vegan if they are prepared with animal products. And wine is on the list ...


49

These are rather loaded question. The one about being smart, because "smart" is an incredibly vague and broad term that means lots of things to lots of people, and the one about whether what you do is hard, because how difficult something is depends on who is doing it. Which is also why answering them with "yes" feels rude; considering yourself smart is ...


47

This is very difficult to answer since you don't know about the person who returned your phone. Some people just like to help without expecting anything, so a thank you note is sufficient for them. You can also do something that is helpful for them without asking them. Though it totally depends on you what you do. As far as it is about monetary reward, ...


45

One reply that always worked for me is Imagine how boring the world would be if everyone had the same interests and the same tastes. That way you stop the teasing without being rude and they cannot possibly say anything to contradict without being rude themselves. After that, depending on your mood, you can: Ask them to explain what they wanted to tell ...


43

This is something that I've discussed with a lot of people who are the targets of such comments, and the consensus is that we would like our allies to reply with a short disapproval. Not a long lecture; not an explanation (come on, the speaker knows why what they are saying is rude); not an alternate wording. My preference is a simple Not cool But you ...


42

I have a very stressed grandmother who hardly lets me leave her house alone. I thought this would change once I get my driver license, but she still is uncomfortable with me going out alone. My grandma had her daughters encounter bad situations a couple of times and now is afraid every time one of her granddaughters is outside alone. Her motivation seems ...


40

This isn't going to be a popular answer, but I have used this tactic before with success... Use non-verbal cues to let the parents know that you've noticed their kid's misbehavior and that you're not happy about it. Make direct eye contact. If they're the kind of parents that are already feeling self-conscious about it, this might be the motivation they ...


40

Fellow vegan, so I know what this is like. I often get colleagues offer foodstuffs that are non-vegan (such as cakes containing milk, egg etc) and confusing veganism with vegetarianism (to the point people seem to be on the verge of arguing the incorrect definitions). Firstly, you need to stop worrying if people believe you or not, there will always be ...


39

Even when I could point out some irregularity in her diet, I just can't say it without sounding rude. ...All in all, my goal is to help her in the long run, because it has gone too far. Decide what is more important to you, having her as a partner here and now, and enjoying that partnership, or making her unhappy, or ending the relationship. It seems to me ...


Only top voted, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible