161 votes
Accepted

How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard?

Make the conversation about experience . . . and baby steps. I'm a regular runner. I compete at a DIII school, and I've been running for . . . maybe eight years now. I've been both the overeager ...
  • 9,015
144 votes
Accepted

How do I respond when an acquaintance asks if I'm smart?

I am Indian and it's considered good etiquette here to receive a compliment with indirect modesty. So I have tended to focus on the specific requirements or challenges of the job rather than my own ...
127 votes
Accepted

How do I deal with other people's screaming children in restaurants?

The way I've dealt with this situation is to ask my server if I could be moved to a different table. It's a little loud over here could we move to another table? Perhaps outside? Approaching the ...
  • 54.6k
110 votes

How do I deal with other people's screaming children in restaurants?

(Preface: Some people have taken offense at how pro-parent this answer is. There's good reason for this. In any meaningful interpersonal situation, we have to pay attention to the mindset of both ...
  • 4,282
103 votes
Accepted

Is it rude to ask if a pregnancy was planned?

Bluntly, most people will see it as very rude. Even if it's not your intention, it's as if you were asking if that pregnancy was rather the result of an informed choice following a measured ...
  • 2,814
98 votes
Accepted

How can I politely tell someone I won't do my job for free?

I used to be a member of the Austin film community - rife with "working for credit". Part of why I found a job that isn't like this is that I really, really didn't like being in exactly the position ...
  • 14.2k
90 votes

How do you deal with colleagues and people around you constantly passing judgement on you for not knowing something?

Please do not be offended, but I feel like you might be the kind of person that doesn't pick up on subtle social interactions. It could also be the case if English isn't your first language, or you ...
  • 764
87 votes

How to tell boss about pregnancy?

Assuming you're planning on taking a maternity leave and then coming back to work, that is the only thing you need to tell your boss. Bosses like to plan workload and know if people are going to be ...
  • 43.5k
80 votes

Is it rude to drive at the speed limit on dangerous roads when another driver wants to go faster?

While I am from the UK, I feel my answer can apply here too. In the Theory Test aspect of getting a UK driving licence, one of the potential questions is this exact scenario. The correct answer is to ...
  • 6,948
76 votes
Accepted

How do I politely end a cold call I've received?

One of my roommates, when I was younger, worked in a call center... Believe it or not, the people calling you hate doing it more than you hate being called. He didn't last long working there, but came ...
  • 54.6k
75 votes
Accepted

How to speak to my friend who's rude to bus drivers?

As a UK native, to me, it can be considered impolite to not say thank you to the bus driver, but I wouldn't consider it rude. Your friend might not be doing it on purpose. Being rude to the bus driver ...
74 votes

How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard?

The website for that hike has a great page on the required fitness: Is the GR20 for you? The minimum capability is: You should be able to walk 3h00 steeply uphill, followed by a 3h00 descent on ...
  • 3,296
72 votes
Accepted

How to make clear to people I don't want to answer their "Where are you from?" question?

This is going to be amazingly hard to pull off, without making people frown a little. You rightfully remark that outright declining to answer the question will be seen as strange: since I'm ...
  • 33.7k
70 votes

Is it rude to ignore everybody else in a chatroom and only talk with one person?

What I'm wondering is: Is this rude to the other users of the room? Yeah. People respond to being intentionally ignored in a chat room about as well as they do to being ignored in real life. (Which ...
  • 7,266
69 votes

How do you deal with someone who's pushing you without explaining yourself?

What works for me with the food pushing relatives is: Saying something like "I'm sure it's delicious / That looks nice - but I don't want any at the moment" the first time. This should make it clear ...
64 votes

How to make clear to people I don't want to answer their "Where are you from?" question?

Some people just want to know this trivia, no matter how irrelevant it is for them afterwards. Maybe you'll say a country they've visited and they will follow-up with "I loved city X" or "monument Z" ...
61 votes
Accepted

How To Respond to Rude Cashier?

I'm going start by challenging this a little bit. There are a couple of things to keep in mind. Each of the two parties in an interaction have their perspective and desired goal of the interaction. ...
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54 votes

How to deal with a suite mate who gossips about me within the first few days of move-in

You guys got off on the wrong foot, which is not to say that things might not change for the better (or worse). Very few of us actually stop and try to look at things from the other person's point ...
  • 17.1k
54 votes

How to deal with disruptive people in the cinema

Yeah, it's unfortunate people behave this way. However, reading what you've written it sounds like you might initiate those encounters with an angry or annoyed tone. While you have every right to ...
  • 650
52 votes

Is it rude to drive at the speed limit on dangerous roads when another driver wants to go faster?

It is never rude to drive the speed limit Despite how the tailgater may feel about it, the speed limit is an upper bound on the legal speed for the road. While we all speed from time to time, we ...
52 votes

How to explain to coworkers that being vegan does not mean I know everything about it?

I'm not sure that you can get them to stop laughing. What you might be able to do is to shift the meaning of the laughter. Rather than say, "Well, actually, not all wines are vegan", consider the ...
  • 1,692
49 votes

How do I respond when an acquaintance asks if I'm smart?

These are rather loaded question. The one about being smart, because "smart" is an incredibly vague and broad term that means lots of things to lots of people, and the one about whether what you do is ...
  • 7,266
47 votes

Should I monetarily reward the person who found my phone?

This is very difficult to answer since you don't know about the person who returned your phone. Some people just like to help without expecting anything, so a thank you note is sufficient for them. ...
  • 7,774
46 votes
Accepted

How to helpfully react to a male coworker's sexual comment about a woman

This is something that I've discussed with a lot of people who are the targets of such comments, and the consensus is that we would like our allies to reply with a short disapproval. Not a long ...
  • 43.5k
45 votes

How do you deal with colleagues and people around you constantly passing judgement on you for not knowing something?

One reply that always worked for me is Imagine how boring the world would be if everyone had the same interests and the same tastes. That way you stop the teasing without being rude and they ...
  • 6,057
42 votes

How do I deal with other people's screaming children in restaurants?

This isn't going to be a popular answer, but I have used this tactic before with success... Use non-verbal cues to let the parents know that you've noticed their kid's misbehavior and that you're not ...
42 votes
Accepted

How to tell your grandparent to not come to fetch you with their car?

I have a very stressed grandmother who hardly lets me leave her house alone. I thought this would change once I get my driver license, but she still is uncomfortable with me going out alone. My ...
  • 14.2k
42 votes

How to make clear to people I don't want to answer their "Where are you from?" question?

I live in Spain, and have done for the past ten years. Constantly, when talking to people I haven't met before, I get asked where I'm from. It's because of my accent - I've been here long enough that ...
  • 1,036
39 votes
Accepted

How to approach my spouse about their weight gain?

The first thing you need to ask her is: "Does she seriously want to lose weight?". There are people who realize that they are overweight, but do not consider it an issue which is serious enough to ...
  • 1,809

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