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My religion prohibits me from being profane, how can I tell my friends to stop swearing so that I am not influenced by their actions?
You don't. You can't expect other people to follow your religion. If you phrase your request like that, it will likely feel to them like you're asking them to adhere to the rules of your religion.
What you can do, is ask ...
107
Given the constraints you've laid out in your question, you can't.
You want to be seen (roughly) as a peer to these students, but also want them to treat you as a professional that is off-limits for any non-professional activities. You want to clearly lay out a broad class of behaviors you would like the students to cease, but don't want to be direct in ...
answered Oct 12 '18 at 15:27
Upper_Case-Stop Harming Monica
15.9k8 gold badges23 silver badges54 bronze badges
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The nub of this is that you want to have your cake and eat it. You want to act like
another kid with similar interests
yet not have them respond to you as though you were
another kid with similar interests
In your interactions with the students, you set the tone for how they respond to you. If in all other ways you want them to respond to you as ...
74
This is definitely bullying. Even if you are a "bit annoying and difficult" as you say, personal attacks such as calling you fat and ugly are definitely way too far. This is what worked for me when I was bullied so you should probably take this with a grain of salt and change it based on what you feel is the best approach.
Ignore Him
Do not, under any ...
59
I think your approach was actually pretty good. I think what you should attempt in the future is to ask a specific question that you think/know will not work. Also, definitely avoid accusing him of being wrong. You should address it from a stance of attempting to better understand the concept.
So, rather than giving him the chance to try it with an example ...
47
Don't.
It is a minor thing, and one that our (American) culture is used to. Forty years ago everyone said "Mary and me went to the store", and faux-erudite people jumped on that bandwagon so hard that the current generation grew up being taught to say "Mary and I" whenever a compound subject is used.
The reality is that language is flexible, and speakers ...
41
tl;dr: that's the duty of a professor to answer reasonable inquiries from students. As professors tend to be very busy, keep things simple and go straight to the points that you have a problem with.
If you visit Academia.SE, you will see that all academics are busy. Besides research and administrative duties, they are busy preparing classes, grading ...
40
My religion prohibits me from being profane, how can I tell my friends to stop swearing so that I am not influenced by their actions?
Taking your personal beliefs and imposing it on your friends who do not share your beliefs is not likely to work out well in middle school, or life in general.
They do not follow your religion and cannot be expected to ...
39
Not to stray too far into parenting but I had a similar problem with learning reading comprehension at a young age. My primary motive for not reading much was the same too: I was uninterested in what I was being shown.
This is where the key to the answer lies. You need to find a topic that Jane is interested in. There are likely to be a few where she's very ...
37
Don't mention the religion
Only let your friends know that you personally find their constant swearing disturbing. If they care, they will control it.
To strangers, don't mention anything. Let them be.
My experience
Some close friends back in college hostel used to swear too much. It was considered normal back in their hometown. Swear words were like ...
34
You don't.
*NOTE: this is coming from a US perspective, cultural norms may differ in Poland. YMMV.
This is your girlfriend. Even if she were your wife, interfering in her family's internal dynamics is courting disaster. In other words it's the nuclear option: you only do that when all other avenues have failed. In particular, with something as temporary ...
33
Since they dismiss her opinion, the idea is basically to bring in external data to support her case.
Use facts or statistics
Gather as many statistics as possible about the course and throw one of these at them in every time they downplay the difficulty. If they feel like arguing, hit them with more statistics.
You're specifically looking to compare these ...
31
As students it can be easy to ignore your health and develop bad practices like your friend is doing - in an attempt to salvage a failed project. I feel the true answer is to explain to them what I've written below, and that they need to stop over-working immediately - even if it feels wrong, or like they are letting the team down.
This project is being ...
29
How do I make it clear to the instructor that the instructor can speak normally without embarrassing her or putting myself in an awkward position?
I think you just need to let them know. My gut feeling is that the instructor is trying to help make sure you get the most you can out of the class, and is expending too much effort doing so. Either come to ...
29
Most of the answers so far are standard advise from people who have not been in the position of the victim. They require skills or traits that you may or may not have.
Ignoring / staying calm - that is easy to say and much less easy to do against someone with years of experience in getting a rise out of people. If you are zen-like enough, definitely do that,...
28
There's no reason to correct the teacher, unless it is something you see often repeated.
Everybody makes miskates. And in case you wish to correct this, do so as an aside to something else, subtly.
I do not know what exactly you could write. Maybe you'll see a good suggestion from other answers.
My English teacher used to misspell tomorrow as tommorow, ...
26
I feel you. It must be uncomfortable to hang out with someone like that. Keep in mind, however, that throughout life our own personalities change, and it seems to me that your friend is discovering his extroverted being, and though the process of discovery can be awkward, if you give space for your friend to be, in time he will become more adept at it.
...
26
If it makes any difference whatever you tell him, why the confusion? Be honest then.
Chances are what you're worried about (him being discouraged from helping the class)
won't happen and you both can earn your way to the assistant position again next time
or it happens, he become discouraged, and stop helping, but you are honest with him and prevent other ...
25
What I've done with my daughter that did not like to read is to encourage her with carrots, not sticks.
First I would sprinkle around the house small notes written "Ice cream" or "hot chocolate". When she would find them and bring them to me, I'd serve all the children what she had found. But this depended on her older sister playing along and not helping ...
25
Note: I am answering as a teacher, now teaching in a high school. In the past, when I was teaching assistant at university, I have been in the situation where students were trying to flirt with me. I also did my internship with a girl class (in a co-ed high school).
@Upper_case's diagnostic on the situation seems fine to me: middle school is a very special ...
23
I too am a verified geek. I even went through high school with a briefcase and pocket protector. To compound the problem my family moved very frequently (attended 13 public schools, from 21 addresses, in the 12 years from 1st to 12th grade). Consequently I seldom even bothered to try making friends. Giving presentations on any subject other than computers ...
22
I'm no personal coach or professional, but I've had my personal share of experience and watched a lot of therapy videos.
Make sure not to sit in the back. Don't be victim of manipulation, although still possibly being done inadvertently and non-maliciously by that person as some people do that naturally.
The trait that is causing you this is lack of ...
21
Here's the thing about Indian classrooms
Teachers usually expect "pindrop silence" and undivided attention when they're teaching, and complete "obedience" in general.
That is, while they're teaching, do not turn towards your classmates, chew gum, fidget with pens, look at the walls or windows, or anything whatsoever. And more importantly, don't do anything ...
21
I abhor violence but I actually do agree that sometimes a good hard knock works. I've taught my daughter this too and she is the sensitive type. One time on the jumpy house another girl was getting physical with her (hitting and pushing) and she whopped her one back. The look of shock on the girls face that she would fight back was clear and quiet funny and ...
20
Discouragement is natural. You're both in the same boat, so tell him you didn't get it. If he gets discouraged about helping out, why don't you inspire him by setting an example? That no matter what, you'll still help out on the discussion boards to keep trying to get the TA role, regardless. He obviously feels it contributes to getting the role, so he may ...
20
I would suggest the opposite of what AbhigyanC answered, I like to believe your friend is aware of the sacrifices he's making, and that he's actually trying to fulfil his tasks respecting the deadline.
If that's the case then talking about its health wont help a lot, I can tell because I'm actually like your friend. "I'm young, I'll sleep later, the ...
19
I don't believe there is a way to correct him without a serious risk of causing embarrassment and/or offense.
Grammatical and spelling errors are unfortunately quite common, particularly in email, which is generally treated as a less formal form of communication.
Unless the teacher is specifically an English teacher (in which case pointing out errors in ...
17
Make racist remarks back at him? NOPE. When they go low, you don't.
You have two equally valid options remaining:
Tell the teacher. or Ignore him.
If this is a one-off retaliation after he got the punishment, I'd suggest ignoring it. Once ignored, maybe there's no longer an issue from him.
But if he continues, then report it to the teacher, or even ...
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