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34

It is difficult to share "leftover food" assuming you mean the food you just had during lunch and did not finish. (If you meant the leftover dinner from yesterday, you can skip to the dialogue part.) Besides hygienic reasons, it can come off as rude or misleading - it could be seen as passing your unwanted food to someone else. On that note, you ...


16

It depends on whether you want to keep the relationship. How important is this person to you? What is it that keeps you going back to help them? Once you answer these for yourself, you have two directions you can go: If you really think this person is important to you and want to improve things between you, it is worth talking to them openly: "...


14

First, do not offer food that has already been on your plate or has been touched with your eating utensils (fork, etc) after you've taken a bite. For this to work it needs to be clear that the food you're offering hasn't been touched or eaten from directly - you served from a storage container onto another dish, ate from that dish, and your eating utensils ...


9

Indian here. Sharing food is an untold courtesy and few of them deem themselves entitled to take a bite of food from our lunch boxes, yes, without asking. Handling it varies from person to person, situation to situation. In one case, when two colleagues took some food from another male colleague, he promptly said, 'Taste it. Leave enough for me so that I ...


9

Your best approach here is to be honest but keep it about yourself instead of the other person: I'm sorry, but it's my personal policy to not lend anything I'd be unhappy giving as a gift, and I wouldn't be happy to give this away, so I can't lend it to you. A polite person will let it go at that, but if they try to insist you explain why or talk you into ...


8

How to politely ask someone if they want to eat my leftover food? I don't think you can. You can share. Bring food specially cooked for them. You wanted to be nice and avoid wasting food. I don't believe it can be done with what's left on one's plate though. Otherwise, I don't think many people will appreciate being seen/treated as poor, peasant, villein ...


7

It is true that friends share information. It is also true that generously sharing information with someone may be one of the steps that leads towards your becoming friends. But this isn't transactional. You don't "win" a friendship after sharing a certain number of pieces of information. What's more, the fact that these people do not thank you, and do not ...


6

Surely your life is not so blissfully chore free that all there is in the world is dishes? Why not say that she will do all the dishes all the time, on her schedule, since she feels the need to do that anyway so as not to see them, and you will do all of something else - ideally something she doesn't like doing and you don't mind as much. Notice the ...


5

Assumptions Firstly from what you have said I am going to assume your friend is speaking in good faith about the miscommunication on the confidentiality of the information as opposed to trying to retroactively cover themselves after intentionally betraying you, the later case (in my opinion) cannot be solved interpersonally and the solution would simply be ...


5

. . . how do I get my friend to not share what we talk about with others? There really is no infallible method for doing this; it all relies upon the principles of trust and understanding. You need to ensure that you really trust this friend before you talk to them. It should be clear to them that when you open up to them, they are indeed privileged and ...


5

If she can't stand, specifically, SEEING dirty dishes in the sink, maybe you could consider putting them "out of sight and out of mind". This worked for me in my bachelor days, when I could leave dishes for later and not freak out over a messy sink if someone stopped by. I had a fairly large opaque plastic bin with a sealed lid on the counter (about half ...


5

If nothing else helps you will have to be honest. But you have options before that. Start the soft and subtle way that doesn't address one person directly but expresses your wish in general. Place a sign in the toilet that tells to sit down. There are plenty of suggestions in the internet. Find one that explains why, it's not because you have to flip the ...


4

Learn to use the magic word, NO. It's really the kindest thing you can do for him. Apparently he's used up everyone else, that's why he has only you to turn to. When you finally give him a NO, without explanation he'll have the opportunity to realize he's been a one-way sort of a guy on a street that goes both ways. If you feel you must keep him, next time ...


4

Transparency about your personal space is paramount When you share details to your mom, she asks questions at a rate that is uncomfortable and causes the reactions stated in your question. It doesn't seem clear to your mom that it bothers you when she reacts with a barrage of questions when you open up. I'd say if she questions you at at a rate that makes ...


4

She asked me a barrage of personal questions, most I did not know the answers to and all of them I felt too awkward to answer. Tell her how you feel. The easiest way to make your interactions with her easier is to tell her that the barrage of questions makes you uncomfortable. Make sure to start you conversation by making it clear that you are making an ...


4

How do I let this person know that I find these kinds of replies unhelpful? Telling someone their feedback isn't helpful is by itself not helpful either. Unless this person is intentionally giving you bad advice (which I doubt based on the comments they made), it'd be more effective to help steer their feedback. Something along the lines of: I was looking ...


3

The problem isn't that your roommate uses the kitchen too much, the problem is you both want to use it at the same time. If she only cooked for thirty minutes a day, but it was during your break from work, then you'd still have a problem. Cooking for thirty minutes a day would be completely reasonable, and it'd be unreasonable to ask for it to be less, so ...


3

Your challenge, which you have stated (although in not so many words) is a fundamental difference of opinion in how the dishes should be done. You have a more relaxed way of doing dishes; she is more intense about it. You are right that there is a way to meet in the middle, and it involves you both giving ground. That doesn't mean you give ground ...


3

As kids, parents are active participants in their kids' lives. Once you become adults, they are more spectators. It's harder for some people to switch roles than for others and a lot of it depends on how the parents taught the kids to live as adults. If she's really intrusive, it may because she still wants a more active role. That's up to you to assert ...


3

I wouldn't ask this of a coworker or peer. The reasons are fairly obvious. There may be fears of hygiene, allergies, etc. Plus the problem of insulting someone by suggesting that they don't have enough to eat. If I were to do this, it would be with a homeless person, preferably someone who has already approached me as a beggar. In this case, they've asked ...


2

It may be due to a different culture, but as a high-school student in Hungary, while eating with people I know, if I have leftovers I just say something like "Hey, does anyone need a sandwich/piece of meat/cake?" Someone usually takes it, and noone feels offended. Probably because I don't refer to the leftover as "leftover", rather just as "food to eat". ...


2

Don't present it as something lesser If someone told me Do you want this food, because I don't want it I could imagine that I would consider that impolite. Instead present the food as something better, not something you would like to dump and need someone to be the trash can. Try this (and mean it!): Hey, I am really happy with how my lasagna came out ...


2

As the original poster, I can't say this is the best solution, it's just how the situation played out. I don't believe there's necessarily a most correct course of action here, since much of this is predicated on some of my notions of how families work and are expected to behave. As part of all of this, I was just open and honest with my wife in expressing ...


2

When it comes to money and friends/family, I have had great success with one attitude. If someone needs financial help, and asks to borrow money or I offer it - I go into it expecting nothing in return. This eliminates resentment of not getting paid back. For this particular case, try to keep it simple. I think you could safely start a conversation with "...


1

One approach I've had good luck with in the past in similar situations is paying the entire cost and saying something along the lines of: Hey everyone, I'm going to buy this. It cost $800. If you want to chip in towards that, I'd appreciate it, but no pressure! Generally, people who are able tend to chip in, and you do this without alienating anyone or ...


1

I have experience of costs of an entertainment (office parties) being spread unequally so that very junior staff can come without incurring a cost that for them would be prohibitive. It is considered important that everyone who wants to come should do so, and it is so considered by the senior people who will be paying far over the actual costs of their own ...


1

You can point it out. "Have you noticed I hear from you only when you need something from me?". "I'm not sure if it is just a coincidence or a rule but whenever we met you wanted something from me." If you want, you can escalate "What again?" and even "Ah, what the gods want now?" "I thought you wanted to go for a beer, darn it." If you are used as a tool ...


1

Ask him for a really big favor -- like borrowing (from him) the amount of a down payment for a car (for you). Keep the total amount of the favor to about half of what you've done for him in the past. If he says no or that he can't right now, dump him. Unfortunately, you'll never get a penny/cent back from him for all the help you've given him. Perhaps he ...


1

This guy has no family and you may be providing him the only help he can count on--good job. BUT he should say thank you and some day pay you back otherwise he is using you. It doesn't sound like he appreciates what he's had. I'd definitely quit, you have no obligation to him. People are supposed to say thank you and pay people back.


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