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23

It could be helpful to diverge from the idea that your dad needs to finance your computer (parts). If the type of parts/computer you want are not a necessity but a luxury, get offers for both. Present your dad with both options. As you need the computer for school, hopefully he will be willing to pay for the basic option. But what about the extras you want? ...


16

I have often been in this situation at your age and learned to make a "good presentation" of my requirements. But I've always tried hard to ensure that most of my parents' such expenditures for me were justified on solid grounds of need, utility and cost effectiveness. Since you have stated Dad feels that you don't need a top class computer at this point, ...


13

For starters, does she want help? If the answer is yes then you and her should be able to find ways you can help. I would suggest asking her to imagine a situation where she would normally be shy but would like to be less shy. Have her define "less shy" as an acceptable outcome, there may be more than one. She will likely have outcomes that may be too big ...


12

What are some polite ways to assert myself in a situation such as this, without coming across as pushy or self centered? This depends a bit on what you consider pushy or self-centered. Sometimes, especially in informal or animated conversations, it's push or be pushed! Some people are more confident than others and take the floor more frequently. A few ...


12

When you do something that people don't expect, they usually feel the need to make up a reason for it. There are two possible reasons for being reserved in a particular situation: the person is shy, or feels inferior and nervous with the people they are with right now the person is cold, and feels the people they are with right now are inferior and not ...


11

School duties - "need" As you need the computer to perform your school duties, I think you can reasonably ask for a money to fix it or to have it fixed instead - just explain in concrete terms and with examples which school duties you need the computer for and which cannot be reasonably performed on a mobile phone. (Note: This assumes you really have duties ...


11

There's no general-case way to answer this question because your friend's aversion could be caused by any number of things, alone or together. Specific advice might be different if he's merely shy compared with, say, having some sort of social neurosis. Additionally, we can't really gauge how receptive he'll be to any sort of help from you. I think that it ...


10

I can often be shy in social situations. One thing that helps when I lead meetings is to ask myself, "What would I wish the organizer would do in this situation?" You're not putting yourself out there in this case; you're serving the group by helping everyone stay on task. A set agenda is always helpful in a meeting and will ensure that important business ...


8

Shy is not something we can easily avoid becoming; genetics and life experiences both contribute to it, along with how we are raised. Added to the fact that many shy people don't realize there are ways to help it - shyness then gets thought of as a non-fixable personality trait. Even if a shy person does know there are ways to help, shyness by its very ...


7

Polite and rational as we want, but since it is not astrophysics and your friend apparently resists to your explicit objections, you may just have to get less polite. I don't like having my picture taken. Could you please not do that ? That's polite, but it is also presumably what you already told him. Did it work ? It is also as rational as it needs to ...


7

Extraversion/introversion refers to how your social interactions relate to your mental/emotional energy levels. An extrovert feels as if they gain energy by interacting with people, while an introvert feels like those interactions cost them energy. This question is independent of how much you like people generally, or whether you like big or small groups. ...


6

In a group of introverts, a good solution is to offer online/paper feedback options to everyone. Freeform, or multiple choice, as appropriate. Also, ask people if they would feel more comfortable if they have an option to offer feedback anonymously.


6

Shy and introversion are different things that result in similar social results when compared in a single scenario. Being shy is a mild form of social anxiety. Which means the person is nervous, hesitant and uncomfortable with interacting with people even when they want to. Shy people are more likely to avoid conversation in the same way a fear of heights ...


5

I come from a similar society as yours in terms of mobile phones and selfie-craze (Pakistan) and I used to find myself on the receiving end of the same situation but once someone posted a selfie doing dinner with me on fb. I don't use fb so didn't know about it until few days later when someone commented on it sarcastically during conversation with me. Till ...


5

One thing that I've noticed is that if two or more "shy" people get together, the least shy person tends to step forward and take the lead. You appear to be the "least" shy person in the group. So step forward and go for it. Realize that your shyness is actually an advantage in this group of shy people because you will have a better sense of what will and ...


4

You can lead a group without deciding for them. If a question is at hand, you can be a moderator of sorts. You can ask each one what they think in a tactful way that is inviting. Make sure that all comments are appreciated. Praise can be given every time someone speaks up. The key is to be invited to speak without consequence or ill feelings. Minutes can ...


4

You have got to make a move. I know its hard because you're nervous and unsure of yourself. You're probably stuck inside your head the whole time analyzing your conversation and interactions with her and it fills you up with a lot of anxiety about what to do next. What you need to focus on is the fact that she said yes to going out with you in the first ...


4

He takes selfies while we are having random conversation. It's not that he is shooting himself and I accidentally appear in background. He specifically includes me in frame. I'll assume that this is a frequently recurring situation. So, let's look at it how it could possibly be handled progressively: Stage 1 (say, first 5-6 instances): Make very polite ...


4

Build your case based on their goals (your education, prep for college if that's in the cards, SAT study) rather than yours. Don't BS, but relate it to the "good" reasons for having a computer and you may find a more receptive audience. What is your parent's perception of your computer use? If they think you lock yourself away all day just playing computer ...


4

It sounds like your goal is to encourage him to text you more often - so my answer will be built off of that premise. "How can I ask for a texting routine? (e.g. every Tuesday and Thursday). I would like to avoid making things awkward between us." There's not an elegant way to ask someone to text you more often. Texting is such an integrated part of ...


4

When helping this friend (or anyone) it's really important to gauge how much he wants helped and how willing he is to be helped. A lot of people want their problems to go away, but aren't willing to make changes that cause the problems to go away. If your buddy really wants help, explain to him that he's going to have to take risks and put himself out ...


3

Your dad is probably right when he says that why would you need a powerful computer, you don't do anywhere near that kind of work Programming or video editing tasks are "that kind of work" that "need a powerful computer". However, everything in life is not work ; you want a PC for leisure, and a powerful one. Still, a powerful PC may still not be ...


3

This is only really a fragment of an answer, and should be used in tandem with other answers, but you could try offering a False Choice. If you can find a pre-build that has the specification you want that costs more than the equivalent individual parts, you could ask for the pre-build knowing that Dad is going to say 'no', then come back a week later with ...


3

The problem with being to shy/humble too ask your parents for anything.. I had the same problem forever, never asked for anything although i didn't recieve any kind of pocket money. I can't give you advice on that - you just have to ask. Just do it.(© 2018 Nike). Advice: What you can do tho is beginning a conversation like this: "Dad i know i never ask ...


3

Disclaimer: This answer is largely derived from this Charisma On Command video. Put pauses mid-sentence, not at the end If you pause at the end of sentences, others may think you're done speaking and jump in if they have something to say. Sound excited Even if you have something really interesting to say, if you say it slowly in a monotone voice, people ...


3

In general, people might not realize. Really the only way to let people know is to confront them, and say: Hey, can I finish my story? or nicer Hey, you didn't let me finish It is good to realize that not letting someone finish in a conversation is also normal and you can often just drop your thought if it is not relevant anymore. If in a ...


3

How can I ask for a texting routine? (e.g. every Tuesday and Thursday). Please, don't do it. It's awkward and even if my best friend or my girlfriend would ask me for something like this it would be strange. Even if you are of different towns you still go to the same school, so I suppose that your towns aren't so distant from each other. If you want to ...


3

This sounds very familiar - I have some issues with social anxiety and am very bad at hiding when I feel uncomfortable, so I've been in a number of situations where my shyness / awkwardness has been noted by other people. My first suggestion is for next time - If you know or suspect that they think that, I've found it's best to address their misconceptions ...


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