107

Given the constraints you've laid out in your question, you can't. You want to be seen (roughly) as a peer to these students, but also want them to treat you as a professional that is off-limits for any non-professional activities. You want to clearly lay out a broad class of behaviors you would like the students to cease, but don't want to be direct in ...


94

The nub of this is that you want to have your cake and eat it. You want to act like another kid with similar interests yet not have them respond to you as though you were another kid with similar interests In your interactions with the students, you set the tone for how they respond to you. If in all other ways you want them to respond to you as ...


62

You're forgetting what made you love programming in the first place. (hint: it wasn't "getting yelled at"). Learning cannot happen without both wanting and ability. You must admit there's a certain wonderment at how the things worked and how you could have so much effect with just a few commands (letting the computer iterate instead of you). That ...


44

Self-taught programmer here. From the sounds of things you're both getting frustrated as you're at different points in your coding career. Also, from the phrases you've wrote like: you did it yesterday, why you can't do it now? It sounds like your language is more accusatory than helpful. You understand how to implement most things and she does not, so ...


25

How do I tactfully put the 2nd teacher on hold? As I would do for any reseller/supplier who finishes second in the grab-a-student-race: politely let them know they came (too) late. Don't blame them, just be nice and handle the situation in a neutral and professional way. Don't burn any bridge, as they shouldn't do it too. ;) I always do that with suppliers....


25

Note: I am answering as a teacher, now teaching in a high school. In the past, when I was teaching assistant at university, I have been in the situation where students were trying to flirt with me. I also did my internship with a girl class (in a co-ed high school). @Upper_case's diagnostic on the situation seems fine to me: middle school is a very special ...


19

Stop flirting with your students. It's ridiculously unprofessional, and if anything makes the other students respect you less. On top of that, most educational institutions have policies forbidding sexual relationships between teachers and students. Even if you never take it beyond 'flirting battles', what if someone else in your class reports that you're ...


17

Preamble: You, my friend, are a very brave man. In trying to teach your wife how to program, you are taking on two roles. One as a husband, which is an equal partner relationship. The other as a teacher, which is an unequal mentor-pupil relationship. Trying to take on both relationships at once complicates them greatly. For starters, your wife is not ...


16

You do not want to trouble the teacher and that's nice of you... ...but he/she is troubling you and this is worth at least an attempt to fix ...and you won't have the chance to trouble him/her anymore anyway, in the future, as you're leaving high school. So I'd suggest to go ahead and attempt the fix. Phase 1 - Request for clarification I'd go with the ...


14

I am an Indian, just like you. I am actually from Tamil Nadu (South India). In my 11th grade, I had a physics teacher like that. She was a hardheaded "strict" teacher (to the point that boys were not allowed to use the restroom during class hour, only girls). We were learning about lenses and mirrors. I am pretty good at physics concepts, but I like to ...


13

I can very closely relate to you. I've learned programming by myself, out of passion, and learned a lot more a lot quicker than most courses would handle. That's not bragging, it's just, as you put it, me being fully immersed in it, letting myself get lost in every new concept I picked up. I have, however, slowly come to realize that is not the case for ...


13

Your best non-offensive way to answer that type of stuff is a smile with a deflecting comment like, "Hey, that's not robotics!" and start talking about something else without answering the question. Note that "Hey, that's not robotics!" is a deflecting statement instead of a question (which the girl could answer, her answer would take the topic back away ...


12

I agree with the assessments that this is a position of authority abusing their authority. Saying "no" in that position will be uncomfortable; you are correct. There's not much you can do in that position when commanded to do so. You can, however, set yourself up to not have to do that again. I'd suggest a quick chat with the principal. You don't need ...


10

I recently got a haircut. Ever since I got a boy-cut, everyone in my school spreads vicious rumours about me (...) I got physically bullied as well (...) Before my haircut, all these teachers were civil and I was usually the class favourite. It seems that the short haircut was interpreted as an open rebellion against conservative cultural values, ...


10

If you don't find any other way to handle it, you still can play "dumb and scared". Start with "In theory its easy, ..." and describe the process step by step. Than tell her the "BUT": you never have tried it before, you are not confident to be able to do it AND if you make a mistake it WILL DELETE some/all of her precious photos. Recommend to get some ...


9

The key here is to flip the embarrassment around. Nobody ever wants to admit they need to be paid. We all like to pretend we are independently wealthy and don't have to worry about petty stuff like our invoices. But when people don't pay us, they force us to admit the shameful truth that being paid is an important part of the reason why we are providing this ...


9

Well, this can be challenging because they are a figure of authority in your life that seems to be misusing that authority. Some points to recognize first: It is inappropriate for your teacher to be interrupting an entire class so that you can help her with her personal IT issues, such as configuring her iCloud in the middle of a class. It is not your job ...


8

Having taught in both the US and UK, my experience is that most former students address me by my title and Surname on first instance of meeting again. In the UK context this is less uncomfortable than the more formal greeting, "Hello, Sir" and in the US it goes the other direction on the familiarity scale as it doesn't assume anything other than the former ...


8

I tried to tutor my partner at programming last summer too. It didn't go well...until maybe the last month of tutoring. Teaching someone you are too close to is very difficult, as the intimacy works against you: they don't pay for the lessons, they don't feel obliged to listen to everything you say as there is no formality in the situation, they can get ...


7

I was a teacher for a while so I can see the point of view of your teacher. Personally I would not have acted as she did but I can understand why someone would. After your 'rude' approach of correcting her your teacher clearly has you marked in her head as 'one of those students'. Any further correction of yours will be perceived as an attack on her or an ...


7

Warning: I never was in a similar situation before. But I had to deal with comment or question that were making me uncomfortable. So, here is what I suggest doing: Wait for the thing that makes you uncomfortable to happen, this way everyone would know what you are talking about and they won't have to wonder "what exactly is making him uncomfortable?". Then ...


6

(1) I am Indian myself and this is a good learning experience for you not to give excessive importance to teachers during your higher studies. As you noted, there is a tradition in India that the teacher is to be respected even more than God himself but in my experience with Indian teachers over a period of 30 years, such reverence should be extended ...


6

As a professionally educated software developer, I suggest you rely on materials produced by professionals to instruct your wife. As an experienced amateur, you should investigate the material first. This approach has four fundamental purposes You won't have to create the structure for her. You are not a professional at this. You will learn the material ...


6

I would like to contribute a different perspective. No. NO. NO ! For the love of God, don't be her teacher. You are her partner and her lover. Focus on being a good partner, on being the man that you are. You CANNOT be both a partner and a teacher. It is creating stress in your relationship, as is obvious in your answer. She clearly has some ...


5

Neither way is considered improper. Addressing them by their full/first name is probably the choice that best suits your situation. It shows an element of professionalism and as you said equal footing and would help to stress making a new relationship with them rather than reverting and building off the one you had with them as a student. However, ...


5

I really don't like it when people make such a mountain of a molehill, but I'm afraid that if I say anything, it might sound like I'm turning down their gratitude, which might make them feel bad, and make me look like I'm a snob... You do need to respect their feelings in such cases. There is no use or need to be embarrassed or too humble, nor to try to ...


5

Disclaimer, this is from an American perspective and doesn't take into account any nuances of Indian culture. However, now, I am no longer in contact with this teacher, due to his attitude and high fees. Should I thank my teacher now that I have qualified? If you are no longer in touch, then I see no point in reaching out to him. He may have been very ...


5

If she has the basics: Teach her to help herself. (I'm developing an arduino thing right now so my examples will be arduino realted) What I mean by this is: show her how to "google" the answers to things. Introduce her to SE, sit with her and google a question. For example, if she wants to save something to an arduino, tell her learning how the EEPROM ...


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