Podcast #128: We chat with Kent C Dodds about why he loves React and discuss what life was like in the dark days before Git. Listen now.
64

First I question why you need everyone to trust your abilities. Some random JoeSchmo from chat's opinion hasn't got much bearing on what you can actually do, so convincing them is probably not necessary. It seems to me that what you want is to end this conversation of them questioning your abilities. So I suggest something like: I've been just fine so far ...


46

Stranger: Can I borrow your bike for a minute? You don't know them or have any mutual friends. You have no guarantee that they will return it in time and in good condition. They have not mentioned any emergencies. Then it is up to you. Sharing bike can be a starting point for a new friendship. Or sharing it will be the last time you see your bike. You ...


31

"No" is a complete sentence. It does not require justification or explanation. In this case, it certainly should be enough. You can soften it a bit by saying "no, I'm sorry". He asked, he should expect both "yes" and "no" as possible answers. Even in a group where it's common to borrow each other's things, it's still a valid option to decline, for whatever ...


28

"If you have specific issues with how I perform this role, you are welcome to talk to me or authority about it privately. Otherwise, this is not the appropriate place to question my position." Be direct and tell them that what they are doing is not appropriate. You were selected to take this role for a reason, and those reasons are not for public debate (...


25

In most cases like this I would go to the event and be up front in greeting It's great to see you! I'm very sorry but I'm only going to be able to stay around 30 minutes. My parents are expecting me for a similar celebration. However, I wanted to come and see you and spend as much time as I could because I have not seen you in a while So I'd be doing my ...


21

I must disagree with the answers posed here so far. I wouldn't try to persuade them with direct arguments at all. At best, you will come off as cocky (by giving yourself a great self-assessment) or needy. It also raises the stakes for you. It puts you in the unfortunate position of having your validity become questionable if you ever do make an error in ...


13

I would say it depends on the situation. It'd be fine to hold a tissue to it for a minute or two. Holding it for an hour would be distracting. If it's in any way a distraction to others in the meeting, taking it elsewhere seems like the better option. You may excuse yourself from the meeting. If some people might be shocked at the sight of blood, just ...


12

This can be often tricky to get the point across to people. On one hand, you don't want to be too curt or rude, but on the other hand you want the evening/event to end. As someone who enjoys company, but also enjoys having my space following a social interaction, I like to establish the time frame of a get-together prior to the event. If you know how long a ...


11

This is a case where feigned obliviousness can be your friend. As you head into the cleaning-up-the-game, planning-the-next-event portion of the evening, you can turn to these two and ask, in your best innocent voice, "How are you guys getting home?" Of course, you know the answer already, but this is an innocuous way to bring up the topic of ...


10

Israeli culture teens will often borrow other people's bikes, and that it's considered perfectly acceptable. Since it's really acceptable in your culture, it's like some known person is asking for a favor. Since you shook your head a couple times, it sent a clear message that you don't want to give your bike and that is acceptable. In case you don't want ...


10

This is really difficult because the person(s) with whom you need to have a conversation is Tom's parent(s). As a 14-year-old, Tom may have some idea that he smells but he is not really in a place to do much about that if his parents allow their whole house to stink. Tom might be a good friend of your sons, but before you embark on any course of action I ...


9

When I was still married this was the juggling act that we had to preform with nearly every major holiday... My ex-wife and I both came from split families so every occasion meant making appearances at 3-4 family functions, and very often having to carefully and delicately manage expectations for each. What I found most helpful over the years was making an ...


9

It sounds like what you want to contribute is "don't do that". Groups of people, and especially groups of teenagers, rarely accept these sorts of contributions. The two major retorts from such groups are "you are too young/immature and wouldn't yet understand why we are doing that, because you haven't been in this situation" and "you are too old and out of ...


9

Method 1 Suited for when people are likely to be agreeing with you. For Reference -Strategies Explanation of Purpose: About that soda can on the ground... Complaint: I think you shouldn't do that. Request for Solution: Would you mind to put that can into the bin? Request for non-recurrence: Can you promise not to do that again? -Phrasing Using pronouns ...


7

I'm 18 years old, but I'm not the most intimidating sort of person, especially to kids in this age range (early teenage years). As such, in cases where I have to tell kids this age to do something, either in a work, academic or athletic setting, I command little authority. I've also been easy to roll over at times, so to speak. There are times when I see ...


7

As the question is too broad and really depends on what you were hoping to accomplish/what type of person you are, I can only give you what I would have done in this situation. Please keep in mind that this answer will be skewed towards my worldview and my strong points. Find a group of people to dance with. The ideal groups are those that are in a loose ...


7

She doesn't like the sun; the rest of you do. Absent a pressing reason (like a medical need) to favor one over the other, you're going to need to either compromise or find ways to solve individuals' problems without affecting the group as much. I suggest you ask her what, specifically, bothers her, so you (plural) can see if there's a way to solve it. ...


6

I have the same issues you do from a dilated blood vessel in my nose. Dry buildings during winter are my biggest enemy and as a result I can have anywhere from 1 to 3 bloody nose incidents a day. From my experience, if you are having them as frequently as I do, people are going to inevitably discover that you deal with frequent nose bleeding so no sense in ...


6

I've been a moderator on an online forum as well in my teen years, it's really hard to convince people that you're more mature than your age however you don't need them to trust you completely. Since you mentioned (I'll write down about access to PII) The ability to suspend/delete accounts, edit people's profiles and stuff like that In practice all of ...


6

This is a losing battle, and it's not worth your time to fight. The people who are giving you a hard time for being 15 already have their minds made up about what 15 year-olds are like and what they can handle. Their preconceptions may be generally right with you being an outlier, or they could be wildly inaccurate. In any case, you're not going to change ...


5

It might be that she does not see you as your emotional problem solver or expects something like that. I believe it to be more likely that she might just need someone to talk to, to vent. Everyone needs someone he can turn to if things go wrong, and maybe she does not have anyone else to talk to. And as it seems she has big, big relationship problems which ...


5

Being worried about revealing your true ambitions to your parents is very normal. When someone thinks that the truth about themselves will damage their loved one's opinions of them it can be difficult to open up. In this context, if your goal is to reduce emotional harm, everything is overshadowed by just saying it. Unless you plan on hiding your career from ...


4

Although I'm from India, I think I understand your situation. I'm 16 now, and I have a 13-year-old sister, and her friends to bother about. At school, I have a number of responsibilities which include taking teenagers of the age range 14-15 and younger. Messing up around them generally results in the kinds of situations that you are facing, but as I have ...


4

Some people achieve amazing things while still in their teens, and some teenagers do have knowledge beyond their years. However it just isn't possible to claim the same experience as an older person because experience is acquired over time, and as yet nobody has been able to cheat the linear nature of time. There are no short-cuts to being old. I accept ...


4

I think there are a few things to consider in addition to the points made in Kate Gregory's excellent answer. The biggest thing to watch out for is how you contribute. Let's take a look at your first message in that conversation. Actually that's one of many and is probably not the best option seeing as how both person A and the kid from school will get in ...


3

Fight them back with evidences and providing what you actually did; put your portfolio in front of them: Other person Wait, really? Are you sure that you can do this? I'm not sure if I trust a teenager to be responsible enough for this. You Well, I did [achievement], [achievement], [achievement] and [achievement], everything is still working fine, [...


3

In most countries, the diagnosis of health-issues is performed by health professionals like general physicians, psychiatrists and psychologists. They are also in charge of providing proper treatment or give directions on how to get proper treatment. I am sure that this is the case in Austria, too. It is simply not within the scope of a teacher’s skills to ...


3

Based on location and age I think you are also likely somewhat dealing with "an excuse" to throw a party. While they are likely wanting to throw you a party, people that age that I know are also wanting to throw parties in general. Do you normally go to parties? Do they have an impression that you enjoy parties in general? If you do normally go to ...


3

Should I attempt to stop the bleeding while at the meeting or leave the room to take care of it? If you can choose where you sit, I'd carefully pick a seat next to someone you know that won't be bothered with your temporary impediment. If possible, a seat close to the door, just in case you need to step out because it becomes more important. If you want/...


3

You're obviously not happy letting anyone ride off on your bike, and there's no reason on earth why you should be. You may never see it again, or it may come back damaged - and 'sorry mate' doesn't mend it. 'If you won't take offence at me saying no, I won't take offence at you asking.' Firmly and politely said, should do it. I used to have lots of 'friends'...


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