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152 votes
Accepted

How do I tell a friend I can't afford her wedding?

You need to say "no" to Anne while minimizing damage to the friendship. That's hard, but you can convey that you care, gently let her down, and look for alternatives. In this particular case it ...
Monica Cellio's user avatar
137 votes

Sketchy "friend" recently revealed true colors, is attending my wedding. Should I un-invite, and if so how?

It sounds like you've been drawn into quite a mess and the timing couldn't have been worse, but to be blunt this probably isn't a problem you should have been tasked with solving. You've got enough on ...
apaul's user avatar
  • 54.8k
84 votes

How do I tell a friend I can't afford her wedding?

I would be straight-forward and direct about it. Simply state the facts: I am very happy for you and I am honored that you've asked me to be a bridesmaid, but I don't have the financial resources ...
dbeer's user avatar
  • 2,290
83 votes
Accepted

Is it rude to wear a sari as a westerner to a wedding in India?

I was wondering if it is rude (or expected) to wear a sari to the wedding. Being from India, I'd say there is no such thing that only Indian women must wear a sari. You can always wear it if you ...
A J's user avatar
  • 7,700
72 votes

Sketchy "friend" recently revealed true colors, is attending my wedding. Should I un-invite, and if so how?

Talk with your (soon-to-be) wife. It's her close friend, not yours. She'll know better what Lucy would want you guys to do and whether or not you should do that. Presumably, the person you are ...
user3507's user avatar
  • 571
69 votes

Dad wants me to invite his mother to my wedding. How to push it back?

First of all, it's not your father's decision - it's yours. Your father made a demand of you, but the choice rests with you. You organize the wedding, you're paying for it, you get to decide. From ...
Magisch's user avatar
  • 10.7k
64 votes

Is it rude to wear a sari as a westerner to a wedding in India?

Let me tell you a story that happened at my friend's wedding (say John) a few months ago. John's an Indian who works in Sweden. The wedding was in India and John had invited a few of his Swedish ...
Procrastinating Programmer's user avatar
38 votes

Sketchy "friend" recently revealed true colors, is attending my wedding. Should I un-invite, and if so how?

Most of this is not your problem. The situation with Sam texting Mary affects Sam, Mary, and their respective partners. While your intentions are good, Mary and your brother are already uncomfortable,...
Royal Canadian Bandit's user avatar
34 votes

Is it rude to wear a sari as a westerner to a wedding in India?

While the other advice given here on the Indian culture and how to respect it are wonderful, I am going to try a different approach that involves people. In my mind this part of your question is the ...
Common K's user avatar
  • 525
27 votes

Dad wants me to invite his mother to my wedding. How to push it back?

I got a message from my father telling me that it's my wedding, but he feels I must invite that branch of the family anyway, because it's just 2 more people. [...] It's totally unfair for her, and I'...
LinuxBlanket's user avatar
  • 9,763
27 votes
Accepted

What is the best way to begin a discussion around a compromise for our wedding location with my fiancée?

The best way to start a potentially conflict-creating talk is to agree on common goals and problems first. So, you don't start with a "How about we get married in DC". You tell her it is about ...
rumtscho's user avatar
  • 553
26 votes

How to decline a wedding invitation from a friend I haven't seen in years?

I'd like to pose a slight frame challenge: why not go to the wedding. You say you don't feel like going because, despite a good faith effort on your side to keep in touch, they never responded and ...
Andreas Grapentin's user avatar
25 votes

How to decline a wedding invitation from a friend I haven't seen in years?

You're over-thinking it. People who send out invitations want you to respond in a timely manner. Not responding is literally the worst thing you can do. Respond with a simple "Best Wishes" and ...
Nelson's user avatar
  • 1,523
24 votes
Accepted

How to convince father to accept decision without holding a grudge later on?

This isn't just any old decision, like what we're having for dinner tonight or should I get a haircut. This is a once-in-a-lifetime public thing. Every single wedding guest will see that her father ...
Kate Gregory's user avatar
  • 44.8k
20 votes

Is it rude to wear a sari as a westerner to a wedding in India?

I am South Indian. There are many good answers to this question that may unfortunately be generalizations to the whole sub-continent. Saris themselves vary across regions in terms of motifs, borders,...
Nitin's user avatar
  • 301
15 votes

What is the best way to begin a discussion around a compromise for our wedding location with my fiancée?

It is traditional for a wedding to take place in a bride's hometown. But times are changing. Communication has made the world a smaller place, more people get together from further apart, and for one ...
Astralbee's user avatar
  • 27k
14 votes
Accepted

How to tell my fiancée's best friend we will marry on her 30th birthday?

It's not really going to be possible to come out of this unscathed. You already asked, the boyfriend already said he has something planned. So now you've decided in full knowledge that your girlfriend'...
Magisch's user avatar
  • 10.7k
14 votes
Accepted

Asking my cousin to invite my GF to the wedding

Making last minute changes to a wedding can be stressful but by no means impossible. I would suggest if you can't see the bride and groom in person then the next best alternative is to call. Calling ...
Ontamu's user avatar
  • 5,065
13 votes

Is it rude to wear a sari as a westerner to a wedding in India?

India is not like Persia or similar places where clothing is closely linked to religious or cultural beliefs. There are modern styles of traditional clothing in India which might be found to be more "...
Van Torrance's user avatar
13 votes

How to offer helping my friend with planning my meal at his wedding without coming across as rude?

You seem very concerned that you will appear to be a trouble to your friend, so one could not say you are using the opportunity to force your ethics on anyone or make a point. It is your friend's ...
Astralbee's user avatar
  • 27k
12 votes
Accepted

Am I expected to bring a wedding gift if only invited to the evening reception?

Being a brit I know there's no obligation in UK culture for you to bring a gift, it's more to be polite. It can be considered rude if you were invited to the ceremony and didn't bring a gift. The ...
Bradley Wilson's user avatar
12 votes

Is it rude to wear a sari as a westerner to a wedding in India?

Indian here. It all depends on you! You can wear absolutely anything you want. If you want to wear a sari, please go ahead. People will understand and don't worry. However, as someone suggested, ...
Sushant VS's user avatar
11 votes

Sketchy "friend" recently revealed true colors, is attending my wedding. Should I un-invite, and if so how?

First of all, happy marriage! You should have a talk with your soon to be wife. As Lucy is invited by her, and is a respect to notify her about the incident. After all, your problem is her problem. ...
Revol729's user avatar
  • 2,755
11 votes

Acknowledge someone's presence without encouraging conversation

Weddings always seem to have a lot of drama associated with them. People get worried about others causing a scene, uninvited guests showing up, and other things happening. Most of the time, these ...
baldPrussian's user avatar
  • 32.4k
11 votes

What is the best way to begin a discussion around a compromise for our wedding location with my fiancée?

I see just a problem here, once it's solved your life as a couple will be much better in general. From what you have described, it looks like your mother in law will probably decide a lot of details ...
Val's user avatar
  • 1,869
10 votes
Accepted

How to offer helping my friend with planning my meal at his wedding without coming across as rude?

This answer is based on my experience attending weddings in the US (if there's something different about French weddings that invalidates this, please let me know!). I was in a similar position when ...
Em C's user avatar
  • 13.6k
9 votes

How do I tell a friend I can't afford her wedding?

If she is your friend and you tell her the truth, she will attempt to help you be there for her. She will develop a solution instead of blaming you or holding it against you. If not, then she is not ...
CipherBytes's user avatar
9 votes

Is it rude to wear a sari as a westerner to a wedding in India?

Most Indians, when they see westerners, especially blond caucasians, wearing Indian clothes, are gratified due to that patriotic spirit which they are indoctrinated in from a young age. However, ...
DynamoBlaze's user avatar
9 votes
Accepted

Acknowledge someone's presence without encouraging conversation

A key part to your potential answer is something you brought up yourself: I am more mature and want to handle the situation appropriately. No doubt that your friend will most likely be the same - ...
Crafter0800's user avatar
  • 6,948
8 votes

Should I object to my best friend's wedding?

Should you tell your best friend Probably, especially if it's going to weigh on your conscience. That being said, be prepared for him to not accept what you're telling him. Give him the information ...
Jess K.'s user avatar
  • 22.7k

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