doctordonna
  • Member for 4 years
  • Last seen more than 1 year ago
  • Canada
Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger?
Accepted answer
70 votes

People like that can have no boundaries. They tend to take offense when others respond negatively. Depending on my mood and the vibe I get from people who approach me like that, I'll respond with: &...

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How to tell a colleague to take care of how he looks
52 votes

Edit 2: Thorsten S. Has mentioned that German culture is different. I will note that my response may be more applicable to most Canadian (in my experience) business/services/companies. If the ...

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How to politely deflect questions about awkward scars?
14 votes

Firstly, congratulations on your victory over self harming. I know it's not easy and can be a struggle. Based on experience, the person who publicly asked the question made it awkward for the group. &...

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How can I explain to someone that they are not being bullied, that instead he is bullying?
7 votes

This situation is difficult to mediate effectively online since everyone is all over the world. Could there be a cultural misunderstanding? AndreiRom has great points. If you deliver the speech he ...

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How to avoid a friend's birthday party?
6 votes

LinuxBlanket has a great suggestion! If she's amenable, your group could take her out to a birthday dinner before the party or another evening. If she's not into the 2 events idea then you could also ...

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How to restore harmony between my family and my wife or is it necessary?
Accepted answer
6 votes

My background is a first gen CBC (Canadian born Chinese). The context of my answer and observation is based on the generation of my immigrated family members from Taishan/HK. From what I have ...

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How do I effectively fix a situation in which I personally insulted a friend out of anger?
6 votes

You've presented your apology. One of many that have been issued when you've offended or hurt your friends. Someone who is hurt will see your persistence as self serving. Why self serving? I can ...

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How to tell a colleague to not drink water from my bottle
6 votes

I would argue that it's rude and unhygienic for him to drink from your personal water bottle. Which you can potentially avoid by placing your bottle out of sight. If you're amenable, bring a cheap ...

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How do I deal with people trying to convince me to wear makeup?
5 votes

It may be beneficial to flip the power dynamic. It's a vulnerable moment being told that having a natural look is not up to societal norms. Here on SE we know you're confident about not wearing make ...

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How to deal with unruly children that aren't yours?
4 votes

Apaul and baldprussian bring up some very good points. If the other adults in the house are not committed to keeping boundaries, then you are entitled to at least upholding your boundaries. They are ...

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How to tactfully chase your case manager who became ill?
4 votes

If they haven't followed up that the owner will be taking a long leave of absence or passed the case on to someone else, I assume they've forgotten. It's not rude to say: "Dear ____, I hope ...

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How to prepare my girlfriend for the break-up?
3 votes

What we have here is a self fulfilling prophecy My friend does this all the time. It can be tiring but she has a group of friends who support and call her out on it. However, she's self aware about ...

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How do you communicate efficiently with someone who is stuttering?
3 votes

It could be considered condescending or degrading to finish his sentences if it's incorrect, and especially if others do this. If you notice another coworker who does this, maybe mention to him that ...

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Writing supply conditions that define customer's deadline
3 votes

@michi has excellent points. Those are techniques I apply in my business. I'm not in this field but I experience similar clients on occasion. A deposit is sound advice. Clients will be monetarily ...

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Is it rude to ask someone where they are from originally?
2 votes

Wording: Is it rude to ask someone where they are from originally? The wording in this question can be considered rude or cause the other person to be uncomfortable. It implies that they are not ...

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Means of expressing sympathy and understanding without saying "I know"
2 votes

Generally people understand that you are trying to convey sympathy when you say "I know". If you're looking for alternative phrases, you can use: I'm very sorry that you're going through a ...

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Coworker scans my body. How to best tell him to stop?
2 votes

An innocent or less aggressive way to confront him is perhaps to ask: "Is there something on my clothes?" When he replies in the negative, you can follow up with: "You were staring/I notice you ...

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Friend's BF tends to get hammered, how do I politely address that I don't want his behavior to get out of hand at the campsite?
1 votes

You can ask someone to moderate their drinking but like all people, free will is involved. Your question isn't asking about how to help your friend's bf with his drinking. You're more concerned he ...

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Tips on reassuring partner with bad experiences with previous partners
1 votes

She has mentioned in the past that her previous partners have been "you must do this and only this, if don't like you can't do it". I've been watching my best friend struggle with this exact ...

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How to ask people to speak softer?
1 votes

@boondoggle has some great suggestions. Hopefully a reminder of "I'm sorry but my ears are extra sensitive today. Your volume is normal but I'm hypersensitive today." There are several kickstarter ...

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How should I communicate with someone who ignores sound advice from people who make her feel bad
1 votes

Most people who react defensively in this way tend to know that what they're doing is wrong/harmful/prideful. Pride seems to play a big part in this and it's unfortunate that danger has become a ...

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How to tell my office mates stop talking when I am working?
0 votes

"I just started to work here so I don't want to tense the stuff up." It's good that you acknowledge this. Since you are new, you should try to proceed carefully. They have already created a work ...

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How can I find out what surprise my wife wants?
-1 votes

I feel for you. All I can picture is this scene from The Notebook: I should also add that I'm not someone who can read between lines so I prefer a more direct approach. Hints and the like go over my ...

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How to stop people from touching me without having to freak out at them
-1 votes

If you've already repeated yourself, likely they will not "get it". As others have mentioned, it's quite disrespectful of them. I'm not sure if you think this will help: "I understand ...

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