Meg
  • Member for 3 years, 10 months
  • Last seen more than a month ago
How to decline physical affection from a child whose parents are pressuring them?
Accepted answer
105 votes

When it comes to my own young cousins and children of friends, I usually give them an explicit choice between sharing physical affection and not, while still expecting that they will obey the spirit ...

View answer
How to have an honest discussion, when all outcomes are undesirable
Accepted answer
41 votes

What I think you haven't fully faced is that your conversation already has only one possible outcome: breaking up. I am certain that given what you have been through, the idea of coercing your ...

View answer
How can I negotiate following a diet with a reluctant significant other?
32 votes

I've been on both sides of this at different times: the partner whose diet was strained by constant offers of junk food, and the spouse unwillingly thrust into a lifestyle change I wasn't mentally or ...

View answer
"But you don't look autistic" isn't a nice thing to say
31 votes

I think what you are taking as somewhat rude and insulting, is generally not meant that way. It is definitely a misguided thing to say, however. I am NT myself, more or less, and I agree with your ...

View answer
How do I respond to someone apologizing for coughing/yawning?
27 votes

My grandfather, who was a man of great class and tact, believed that the proper response to someone excusing themself after a bodily sound (burp, cough, etc) was a gracious but casual, "Certainly." ...

View answer
How can I talk about sex with my girlfriend without giving her an ultimatum?
25 votes

You can focus on letting her know what you would ideally want out of your love life, finding out what she would ideally want and finding a way to meet somewhere in between. When talking about ...

View answer
How to tell my ex not to expect sex
Accepted answer
22 votes

In cases where you have to tell someone things that they probably don't want to hear, these are the principles that I generally try to abide by, and they have served me well. Be clear but not unkind. ...

View answer
How and when do I tell a potential partner that I do not want more kids?
Accepted answer
16 votes

The rule that I have used in my own relationships is that potentially make-or-break conversations should be had once you decide to take the relationship from a casual 'try it out' dating relationship ...

View answer
How can I deal with uncomfortable silence from my partner?
Accepted answer
14 votes

If her quietness is a symptom of her anxiety, it is possible that there is no perfect communication that would allow her to entirely change her behavior, just like I imagine that there is no one-time ...

View answer
How can I discuss beer without sounding like a snob?
Accepted answer
14 votes

I can see how you may feel that your interest is invalidated by your friends' response. However, being known as a ___ snob (wine, beer, food, film, etc) may lead to teasing, but it doesn't in general ...

View answer
How to participate in group conversations as an outsider?
13 votes

I experienced a similar situation when I moved to my husband's home state as a newlywed. "Our" friends were his friends from college and single life, plus a few of their significant others. I found ...

View answer
How do I talk with my girlfriend about her jealousy?
13 votes

I think there are a couple problems here in the way you are been talking to your girlfriend about her jealousy. First, there seems to be a bit of a communication issue. When you say "None of these ...

View answer
How to respond to strangers who shout compliments across the street?
9 votes

If the compliment seems positive and sincere and you want to acknowledge it politely, a smile and a wave or thumbs up is appropriate. You can say "Thanks" or give a compliment in return if the ...

View answer
"Kicking the dog", ie post hoc anger at third parties
Accepted answer
9 votes

This is an unpleasant but basically normal behavior among animals and humans as well, and is generally known as displacement or 'redirected aggression'. Most top search hits for the phrase refer to ...

View answer
Asking my sister to show less display of affection to her SO in public
9 votes

I don't think that asking your sibling who is at the height of the 'honeymoon period' of her romance to stop being so affectionate or stop using pet names for her fiancé is likely to significantly ...

View answer
Saying thanks without making it sounds like "you are doing me a favor"?
9 votes

Just thank them in a low-key, professional way. Being overly effusive about it might give the impression that you feel they have done you a big favor, so instead of something like "Thank you so much ...

View answer
What is an alternative to brutal honesty that doesn't involve lying?
9 votes

It is almost always appropriate to be honest. It is almost never appropriate to be brutal about it. There's 'brutal honesty', where you consider honesty the ultimate good, and don't care how much it ...

View answer
My co-workers keep calling me a robot, how can I resolve this?
8 votes

In situations where a joke has been played out to the point that it feels like a waste of time, or is getting annoying in general, the approach that I like to use is address it in a head-on, straight ...

View answer
How do I make friends with people who I have possibly alienated without making it awkward?
7 votes

I lived through a very similar experience to yours-- I lived in the only single room on my floor of the dorms, and due to a combination of a depressive episode and just being on the shy side naturally,...

View answer
How to explain that I rather do something else than go to a social event?
Accepted answer
6 votes

To avoid going to an individual social event, the polite and generally inoffensive way to decline is to minimize excuses while maximizing good wishes on the person who invited you. Never say that the ...

View answer
How to Address My Weight in Conversations With Friends
6 votes

Just tell them. Keep it light, keep it brief, and keep in mind that many people, regardless of their own body size, find body issue topics uncomfortable, so don't be too quick to force them to engage ...

View answer
How to Support Emotionally Drained Friend
Accepted answer
5 votes

I have a friend who has a difficult family situation that causes her to sometimes go into the 'emotionally drained' state; what I do is regularly remind her that I care about her without requiring/...

View answer
How to deal with people that are not able to confront you with Problems they have with you
5 votes

If a friend is truly unwilling to accept any conflict whatsoever or engage in a relationship based on honesty about their feelings, there isn't really anything you can do on that front. Luckily, many ...

View answer
How can I forewarn a schoolmate that I'll refuse to answer personal questions if we meet?
5 votes

Although I understand the desire to avoid having to confront uncomfortable questions in the moment, that kind of formal forewarning is very likely to backfire. It immediately raises questions like "...

View answer
How to tell a girl with anxiety and OCD I'd like to date her without triggering her?
Accepted answer
5 votes

The truth is, you can't really predict what any other person will think or feel, and there is no perfect 'speed' at which to start a new relationship. All you can do it be attentive to the other ...

View answer
How to deal with 'It sucks, just deal with it' when asking for support
Accepted answer
5 votes

I think there are a few things to consider when approaching this issue. One thing is that it is difficult for many people to hear what might seem like a 'generic complaint', and accurately determine ...

View answer
How to invite a girl to talk and hang out without her inviting a friend?
Accepted answer
5 votes

You can ask her for a friendly (not high pressure or overtly romantic) social meeting by inviting her to participate in an activity with you. By letting her know that you are inviting her ...

View answer
How to jump into a group which is standing in a circle?
Accepted answer
5 votes

One possibility is find someone friendly-looking before church starts, introduce yourself and mention that you are new in town. Unless you're going to a church with a very different culture than the ...

View answer
How to evade request to sit somewhere uncomfortable?
Accepted answer
4 votes

In this case you don't actually have to choose between giving a reason (ew, gross, old food stains!) and lying. You can be honest but provide less information by saying something like "I prefer to ...

View answer
How do I avoid making my friend feels like she has to "fake happiness" for me?
4 votes

The best way to let someone know that they can safely be vulnerable with you is to be vulnerable with them. If you let her know openly when you are doing not-so-well, it will send the message that ...

View answer