Magisch
  • Member for 4 years, 5 months
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Politely telling an incompetent software project volunteer they are too inexperienced
Accepted answer
106 votes

You can side step that issue entirely. You don't even have to be deceitful about it. Simply say to them that the part of the project they can realistically help with is finished now (since it is, ...

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How do I tell my teammate to stop replying to emails not addressed to him?
74 votes

Since you're sure this isn't some automated out-of-office notice script running haywire, you probably should have a word with the person in question. Phrase it not as you being annoyed by them (even ...

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Dad wants me to invite his mother to my wedding. How to push it back?
70 votes

First of all, it's not your father's decision - it's yours. Your father made a demand of you, but the choice rests with you. You organize the wedding, you're paying for it, you get to decide. From ...

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How can I effectively tell people that their defensiveness over me bringing up an issue is part of the issue?
65 votes

The problem is all about the tone and how it causes the first impression of your argument to shift. I've had this issue for years, and even with close friends I get incredibly frustrated when ...

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How do I effectively get people to look past my age when considering my abilities, if they know how old I am?
64 votes

First I question why you need everyone to trust your abilities. Some random JoeSchmo from chat's opinion hasn't got much bearing on what you can actually do, so convincing them is probably not ...

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How to politely handle support requests which lack some basic understanding?
63 votes

Anyone with basic understanding of how Y works would be able to infer that from the examples. I can’t teach you how Y works. That's pretty rude. You're basically using a polite way of saying "If ...

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How can I help someone realize that they should respect the staff's privacy?
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57 votes

You don't really need to beat around the bush here. Something friendly yet remindful will work, like I've noticed you've been entering the caretaker's room without knocking and without her consent....

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How to encourage a child with autism to practice reading?
39 votes

Not to stray too far into parenting but I had a similar problem with learning reading comprehension at a young age. My primary motive for not reading much was the same too: I was uninterested in what ...

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How to avoid having a snorer share your dormroom?
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34 votes

I feel like it would be unpolite to flat-out lie about the beds still being available, but similarly, allowing would cause their own problems. You're on to something here. Telling someone that ...

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I don't see why I have to pay for a full bumper paint job. How do I convince her?
31 votes

So you damaged someone's property, and now you're haggling about how you have to make up that damage? This is probably the frame that she is seeing this in. Lets review: You don't think it's a big ...

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How can I tell my mom to not cause herself so much stress when I'm visiting?
30 votes

My grandma used to be just like this. I found that telling her not to worry makes things significantly worse. In that vein, I would suggest that you don't explicitly talk to her about stopping to ...

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How to approach discussion with wife about a possible "emotional affair"
27 votes

First off, the bitter pill to swallow: Don't kid yourself, this is a serious threat to your marriage. What she is doing is an emotional affair at best, a regular and emotional affair at worst. It ...

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How can I tell my friend I don't like the state of our friendship?
26 votes

First off, what you would like might not be possible. There can be a number of reasons why she doesn't initiate contact with you on her own, including but not limited to: She's not the type of person ...

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How to tell someone they're not welcome at an event you organise
23 votes

It depends on what your goal is here: If you want to keep Alice's feelings intact, and want to get out of this situation with the least amount of drama and bother, then I suggest not telling her ...

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How to invite a coworker I'm romantically interested in to a dinner party without sounding like I have an agenda?
21 votes

With all due respect, I think you're overthinking and overcomplicating this. You say that you don't want to look like you have a hidden agenda when inviting him to dinner. That's right you don't, you ...

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Do I need to force myself into social interactions
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21 votes

I have ... similar issues. In my experience, no matter how often you force yourself into uncomfortable social environments, you won't start to like them. You'll probably never be a party person, and ...

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How can we ask neighbours to be more quiet without escalating?
19 votes

I'm assuming that because you're trying for an interpersonal solution, you don't want to get police or the landlord involved. You say: They are very loud and at some occasions the cops were ...

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How to ask my boyfriend's family if it bothers them that I'm coming along
18 votes

Giving that his visits are always informal, there is no proper invitation from his family: he just comes and they are happy with it. This sounds like it's the standard "we're happy to see our kids" ...

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Reject a close friend interested in dating me?
15 votes

There's a problem (and I suspect) an impossibility here. You want: I need a way to explain, directly and honestly, with my friend that I'm just not interested him as anything more. I want him to ...

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How to tell my fiancée's best friend we will marry on her 30th birthday?
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14 votes

It's not really going to be possible to come out of this unscathed. You already asked, the boyfriend already said he has something planned. So now you've decided in full knowledge that your girlfriend'...

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How do my wife and I get her mother to stop buying stuff for us?
Accepted answer
14 votes

I'm going to be honest here, stopping an overbearing parent from buying too many presents is a fight against windmills. You're not likely to succeed, at least not without severely souring your ...

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How do you deal with someone who's pushing you without explaining yourself?
13 votes

Or maybe there is some ultimate univeral excuse that cannot be undermined easily and will stop this pointless conversations before they escalate? It depends on how confrontational you want to be. ...

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How best to tell a parent I wish to stop tutoring her son?
13 votes

As tempting as it may be, you should probably avoid naming the actual reason you want to stop. For instance if the reason you want to stop is because the parents are annoying you or are difficult to ...

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How to talk to grandma about money she promised me
12 votes

First of all it's important that you acknowledge the frame of what is happening. You say that: I don't want to come off as spoiled, as my grandma already gives financial support to me every month ...

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How can I help my partner with her body image without offending her?
Accepted answer
12 votes

This isn't your place to do. The last thing she wants to hear from her own partner is that she is unhealthy and needs to diet. It sounds like, from what you write, that her issue is mostly with her ...

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Re-Marriage of my father to his ex-Wife A-K-A my step mom
Accepted answer
10 votes

First, you can't dictate whom your father is going to marry. This isn't going to work. Sounds like you already tried all of the "soft pressure" tactics available to you, and your father still wants ...

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Explaining to a parent that they shouldn't yell ambiguous commands because you have misophonia?
10 votes

This will be a tough sell on your parents to recognize and support you over - Misophonia is not currently a recognized condition or disorder, it has only been proposed in 2000. It's very possible that ...

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How can I try to have my mom help me understand why she won't accept a sincere apology?
9 votes

You say even mentioning the subject pisses her off, so you're gonna have to live with that and push through it. The best way I think is to have a honest conversation about it and ask as honestly as ...

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How to persuade elderly neighbors to reconsider staying North this winter?
Accepted answer
9 votes

I am asking for advice on how to tell a very touchy person who is not accustomed to listening to anyone about anything that she may be letting herself in for more than she can cope with. I'm not ...

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How can I avoid signing the attendance sheet for someone who wants to sit out a class?
9 votes

From what you describe, it looks like it's very easy to avoid this for you. Lets review the facts: A group of people has already been doing this amongst themselves Some of them might not show up Now ...

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