Tom
  • Member for 4 years, 5 months
  • Last seen more than a week ago
  • Vienna, Österreich
How can I know whether a female house guest is interested in more than a friendly visit?
83 votes

You are a man, she is a woman. If there were a reliable way of reading her intentions, half of all books, movies, plays, songs, operas and other artwork would not exist. You need to approach this ...

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How to ask your girlfriend to pay her share of the rent when she moves in?
81 votes

The key word in your question is "invited". (update: It was. Question has since been edited to remove that word. Skip the next paragraph to get to the actual answer, I leave it as this was the ...

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How can I politely ask my date to not use her phone unnecessarily during dinner, without ruining the night out?
73 votes

Why are you trying to change her habits? You are on a date, and neither side has any standing to comment or change another persons behaviour. You also have no obligation to continue the date if her ...

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How do I avoid strange questions because of a flag?
Accepted answer
63 votes

There are two answers, one for each of the paths that you ask about: Avoid questions by either removing the flag or putting it in context. The context could be other countries you like, or stickers ...

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I was mistakenly identified as a criminal, and this has caused rumors. How can I convince my friends that it is all a mistake?
48 votes

I've been in a similar situation and by my experience the #1 thing you need right now are a few allies. You won't be able to resolve this all by yourself. I had a good friend on the scene who is also ...

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How to tell a "friend" to stop pretending to flirt with my girlfriend?
34 votes

This is not a flirting issue, it is a respecting boundaries issue. No, you should not ignore it so he doesn't get a rise. While this approach might eventually stop his actions, before that happens he ...

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How to stop classmate from bullying me
31 votes

Most of the answers so far are standard advise from people who have not been in the position of the victim. They require skills or traits that you may or may not have. Ignoring / staying calm - that ...

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How do I tell my mother that I'm an atheist?
29 votes

There are two aspects to this, and you need to see that. The first part of religion is faith. Understand that making you lie or pretend on this is a form of oppression. In many parts of the world you ...

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How can I offer my prayers to an atheist colleague facing a serious personal situation?
27 votes

Don't ! Others have commented already along this line, but I feel they are pulling their punches. I'll phrase the following as friendly as I can, but without dilluting the message. I am a militant ...

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How to approach a friend about his girlfriend asking to sleep with me?
26 votes

You will most likely find that Bob is much more relaxed about this than you are. From his perspective this is what went down: he was out of town his girlfriend asked his permission for a threesome he ...

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How to approach discussion with wife about a possible "emotional affair"
25 votes

The elephant in the room is her gaming addiction. She is basically spending an entire working day at it, every day, if I understood you correctly. That is massive. Who takes care of the kids? Who ...

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How can I deal diplomatically with a feminist neighbor who continuously delivers political speeches in private?
19 votes

Jane has serious issues that are not yours to solve. They are also not yours to endure, and you have no obligation to do so. When she starts one of her rants, stop her with a clear announcement that ...

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How do I tell therapist that something is a big issue to me, even though culturally it's not?
11 votes

The job of a therapist includes validation of whatever you are feeling. If she dismisses your thoughts, immediately walk out and find another therapist. Your thoughts are the exact reason that people ...

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How to defuse or prevent an adult temper tantrum
10 votes

This might not be the advice you are looking for, but everything you describe are red flags and point to an unhealthy relation with a possibly mentally unstable person. I would recommend seriously ...

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Two friends and their wedlocked affair
9 votes

Jane is right in that you are involving yourself in a business that isn't yours, and I suspect a good share of the reason is that you cannot manage your feelings about this affair and you are looking ...

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Dreamt of another girl, want to tell my girlfriend, but how without getting smited?
9 votes

There is absolutely no way ever that you can tell your GF about this dream without hurting her feelings. Never, ever going to happen. If she were secure, she might laugh it off. But giving this kind ...

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How to tactfully acknowledge a woman on Women's Day?
8 votes

What is wrong with simply wishing someone a happy women's day? Don't make a big deal out of it and don't waste your time with people who do. If someone seriously attacks you for a simple wish like ...

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In an early relationship, how can I handle my partner's deep depression and not be an enabler?
8 votes

This may not be the answer you are looking for, but get out of that relationship. I speak from experience and the primary regret I have is to not leave sooner. A person with a serious mental illness ...

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Talking to boyfriend about his close female friends
7 votes

Some of us guys actually prefer female friends. I've always had more girls than guys in my friends circles, and the majority of them not for romantic reasons. I just don't do the usual boy behaviour - ...

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How do I prevent awkwardness between a former romantic interest and myself?
7 votes

Take a page out of the womens play book. Instead of saying that you are not interested in her romantically anymore (which I agree sounds somewhat wrong to state outright unless asked), use these two ...

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How to explain to coworkers that being vegan does not mean I know everything about it?
6 votes

Since I'm vegan/vegetarian, I have to deal with this behavior a lot No, you don't have to. The dismissive behaviour is caused by vegans making such a big fuss about it, and is a perfectly normal ...

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How can I tactfully interrupt a customer service representative over the phone?
6 votes

The assumption in your question is wrong. In this situation, the person on the other end of the line is literally being paid to be of service to you. While you may have been rude, it is not their ...

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How to properly reject an intimate suggestion?
6 votes

The vital piece of information that you tried to communicate but couldn't actually consists of two parts: I am not against the idea per se I do not feel this is the right moment Once you deconstruct ...

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Coworker scans my body. How to best tell him to stop?
6 votes

I feel many of the answers here are assuming too much and escalating too quickly. Giving another person the benefit of the doubt, especially in a setting where you will interact with them again in ...

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How to tactfully communicate with ex-boyfriend about my personal choices?
5 votes

How do I tactfully communicate with Tom that what he's saying is out of line or that he cannot control the decisions I make? "I'm sorry to hurt you, but this is my life and my decision to make." ...

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How can I tell my friend her boyfriend is (allegedly) a rapist?
5 votes

Christine and Alice need to talk. Other answers already outlined quite clearly that no matter what you do in this matter, it is wrong. You can facilitiate this meeting only in one way: Convince ...

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How can I tell my wife that her fears and mistrust are hurting us?
5 votes

Your wife has serious issues. The stress here is on your wife. These are not your issues, and she is trying to put them on you. That is wrong, even though it is probably not intentional. Discuss this ...

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How to talk to someone about being chronically late - not to fix it, just to get more accurate ETAs?
5 votes

I have such a chronically late person in my life, and it is almost useless to try to change them. They are just bad with time, and don't even mean any bad, and even if they try hard, it doesn't work. ...

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Sketchy "friend" recently revealed true colors, is attending my wedding. Should I un-invite, and if so how?
5 votes

The crucial piece of data here is who knows about what is going on, and who is in the dark. Sam, Mary, your brother and you know. Your fiance, Lucy and all the other guests are in the dark. ...

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Unintentionally started dating my best friend's crush. How to talk to him about it?
4 votes

You found yourself in an impossible situation with conflicting goals, congratulations. You will not be able to make both of these people entirely happy. So the first decision is whom of them you want ...

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