DaveG
  • Member for 4 years, 4 months
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How can I ask my girlfriend to be my gym buddy without hurting her feelings?
131 votes

Make it about you and not about her. In other words, tell her that you want to go to the gym more often but have trouble getting the motivation, and it would really help you get there and work out if ...

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How to tell someone I'd like to become friends without causing them to think I'm romantically interested in them?
99 votes

If you want to meet with someone but don't want them to think you are considering romance, invite them and their partner (if any) to get together with you and your partner / spouse. That makes it ...

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How to try to get my neighbour to park their car in their assigned spot?
58 votes

Why they choose to park at the door and block other people is irrelevant. Their car may be made of glass, they may have OCD, they may be jerks that don't care about other people. Whatever the reason,...

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How do I insist my wife gets rid of her recently bought pet spider, given that I'm arachnophobic?
Accepted answer
51 votes

Your wife went ahead and made an optional purchase of a pet, knowing that it absolutely terrified you. She made this purchase with no consideration at all of how much emotional pain this would ...

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How to maintain healthy conversation with a partner long term
33 votes

In addition to the good advice in the other answers, I'd suggest that you not treat "how was your day?" as a throwaway formality. I find with my girlfriend that if I really listen and then ask a few ...

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How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating?
25 votes

Is it possible bring in a third party like a financial or relationship counselor that can help you work through and document the expectations for finances? You could tell your SO that the two of you ...

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Disclosing my past relationships to my girlfriend
24 votes

A "frame challenge" to the idea that you must continue to respond to your girlfriend's request for more details of your past: You did nothing wrong by not revealing every detail of your past It's ...

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How can I avoid coming across as condescending when telling a coworker I can't work on an issue right now?
23 votes

If you truly are not trying to be condescending, then you'll need to work with your boss to come up with ways to reword your emails. For example, instead of telling people that you "don't have ...

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How to tell your grandparent to not come to fetch you with their car?
20 votes

I went through something similar with my parents before they passed away. I was pretty convinced it wasn't safe for my father to drive me anymore. I just ended up saying that I wasn't going to ride ...

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How to finish a date gracefully?
19 votes

Don't worry about being introverted or nerdness or anything else like that. Ending that first date when you're not feeling any connection is hard for everyone. I know, when I was dating I did a lot ...

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How can I assert my domain knowledge, while signalling openness to useful information, over email?
17 votes

I would approach this from the point of view of egoless programming. Address this as "we are on the same team, we have the same basic goal, we are trying to help each other", rather than "why is this ...

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How can I correct text of another person during a chat without being pedant or making fun of the other person?
Accepted answer
14 votes

Sometimes in cases like this I reply using the correct spelling or phrase (or pronunciation), without explicitly pointing out that the person made a mistake. In this case you might reply with Let me ...

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How to handle emotional expectation about an animals death, I do not fulfill?
14 votes

I've gone through this "from the other side" as the person who was very, very attached to my dog. My fiance liked my dog, but wasn't nearly as attached. I understand where your girlfriend is coming ...

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My boyfriend has issues with his parents, how do I support him without ending up in his parents bad books?
12 votes

Based on my own experience with a father who was loving but didn't appreciate what I did as a software developer (I think he thought I was a keypunch operator) I'd take a two pronged approach. First, ...

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How do I avoid giving off "creepy" vibes in a group exercise class?
11 votes

I understand exactly the situation, because I've been taking exercise classes at various gyms and health clubs all my life (I'm in my 60s) and it is awkward being one of the few guys in the class. It ...

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BF (35M) wants to have a baby but I don't think he's ready. OP 35F - how do I communicate this?
10 votes

When your boyfriend says we would likely break up in a few years if we did not have a baby he's saying that you need to have a baby to preserve your relationship. That is a really, really, really ...

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Declining to do exercises I think are unsafe without making a scene
Accepted answer
10 votes

Every exercise class I've ever been in as an adult, the instructor has given out alternatives. For example, if we have a station that is pushups, she'll demo the full pushup, then show doing it on ...

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How can I request something in writing, if the other person resists with "Don't you trust me?"?
10 votes

I would try to completely bypass the "trust" issue. Say that having the email helps your friend keep track of appointments (which is probably true). Just having the verbal confirmation is harder to ...

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How to calm a panicking grandmother over the phone?
9 votes

First of all, remember that your grandmother is in a very, very scary situation. Her husband that she has loved and relied on for decades, is mysteriously ill. Being scared and panicked is normal ...

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Sit opposite or along-side on a 4-seater table on a date?
Accepted answer
9 votes

Generally, at least in Western culture, you'll sit across from your date. You can verify this by checking out a wide array of romantic movies. I can't recall any where the couple sat side by side ...

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Explaining to my boss that I didn't attend a company social event due to tiredness issues
9 votes

In general, managers don't like surprises. In this particular case, it sounds like the assumption was that employees would attend both company events. What you communicated, that the two events ...

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How should I text a guy I liked on LinkedIn?
8 votes

I was in a similar situation a few years ago, although not work related. I ended up messaging a woman I had met, using the only available means of communication I had, asking her if she'd like to do ...

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How can I explain a problem without finger-pointing?
7 votes

Just a day or two ago I was late to a dinner with a friend. I had forgotten that traffic would be heavier than it usually was and my wife and I ended up 15 minutes late. Fortunately, it wasn't a big ...

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How to invite a significant other to spend the night without implying sex?
7 votes

This is a really, really tough issue, because people tend to be pretty vague and indirect when they want to have their date spend the night for sex. If you bring it up at the end of an evening when ...

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How to dodge a question you don't want to answer smoothly, without coming across as dismissive or abrupt?
7 votes

It's completely reasonable to "not want to go there" when it's something awful that might happen but hopefully won't. In this case probably the person who asked you has been thinking about this ...

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How to tell a friend I don't want to continue giving him advice?
7 votes

At this point you can honestly say to your friend that you haven't been successful in getting him employed. Instead of you providing more suggestions, try redirecting him to some local resources, ...

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How to schedule meetups effectively?
Accepted answer
6 votes

I run into this problem because I have an old friend (all the way back to grade school) who lives 3 time zones off from me. We like to have long calls on the weekend every month or so to catch up, ...

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How could I have better handled this interaction with a hired company to complete a project?
6 votes

I've had the same trouble with work being delayed and contractors not communicating, although nothing as bad as what you describe. I'm in the United States so my comments may not apply to Canada. In ...

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A stranger on the street accidentaly dropped their wallet: if and how may I point it out to them?
6 votes

You did exactly the right thing. You got the person's attention, pointed out the problem, while avoiding any action that would make it appear that you were a thief. Getting into someone's personal ...

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How to tell someone they broke my code and ask them to (help) fix it?
Accepted answer
6 votes

You are overthinking this a bit. It happens that software developers make mistakes. We all do. The best approach isn't to think of it as "this is your mistake" or "why did you mess up my code". I ...

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