Jess K.
  • Member for 4 years, 2 months
  • Last seen more than 1 year ago
  • United States
Covering for person who refuses to tip waiter without offending?
196 votes

I've been through similar situations (friends not tipping because they didn't have money or because service was 'too slow'). In the cases where I knew I'd be a returning customer and didn't want to ...

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Complimenting a female co-worker without coming across as flirting?
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190 votes

Coming from my experience in receiving compliments from men I didn't know very well, I'd suggest focusing on complimenting the shirt vs complimenting the person wearing the shirt. For instance, ...

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My cousin doesn't know that I know he received money that belongs to me - how do I approach him about receiving the money?
183 votes

I'd be direct but offer him the opportunity to still come clean on his own. Maybe something like: Hey, I heard from the buyer that the money was transferred to your account. Would you be able to ...

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How do I deal with people trying to convince me to wear makeup?
177 votes

As a fellow woman who does not wear makeup, I feel your pain. Usually my mother is the one nagging at me, and I've found that it's most effective to say something along the lines of: "I appreciate ...

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How to tell people I'm not their tech support?
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175 votes

As a computer scientist myself, here are the avenues I have taken: When asked to fix a Bluray player at a holiday gathering... "I can look, but your guess is as good as mine. I know how to write ...

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How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play?
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147 votes

My biggest concern with you addressing Jane is that she could take offense to the implication of her wanting to seduce you (presently or at a future time), so to avoid that I'd suggest saying ...

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Coworker scans my body. How to best tell him to stop?
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146 votes

In these situations you want to put people on the spot without setting them on fire (because being too confrontational in the workplace can be an issue). Next time you see him doing this, I'd say: &...

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How to communicate to my mother that I find it hurtful when she cooks dessert for everyone except me who is vegan?
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121 votes

Originally commented on a different answer, but I want to flesh this out into a full response - Unlike other answers, I don't believe your primary choice is to just accept this as what it is and move ...

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How can I ask a new date to not smoke around me?
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105 votes

In my dating experience, I've found that prying too much about a topic I take an opposing stance on has been problematic. For example, I met someone who was "420 friendly", so to speak, and began ...

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How can I politely get the attention of a coworker who is listening to music?
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102 votes

What I've found works best in my own workplace is to either tap on the persons desk, or wave off to the side. Tapping on a desk/table usually works best because the person in question can feel the ...

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How do I respond to racist remarks from a coworker?
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83 votes

I feel like what you did is one of the most positive things you can do in this situation for a couple of vital reasons. You avoided escalating an awkward situation into a heated debate You want to ...

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How to ask a casual acquaintance for phone number without being awkward?
62 votes

I find that you have two prime options - Give her your number and let her decide what to do with it from there If you choose this method, try explaining your situation, something along the lines of: ...

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How to convince the other party that I'm not going to do "the right thing" as the alternative matters more to me
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61 votes

If you have evaluated that keeping the ball is going to be of more value to you than the feeling of having performed a selfless action, don't be afraid to simply say: "No, sorry, but this item ...

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How to refuse politely to play with someone as a streamer
57 votes

As someone with a little streaming experience, I'd like to throw in my own two cents. First and foremost, if someone asks if they can jump in and play with you and you flat out are not interested, ...

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How can I express my concerns about my underage brother drinking alcoholic beverages to him without sounding like I'm his mom?
56 votes

You've made it pretty clear that you want to avoid alienating your brother from telling you these things in the future. To do so, focus on delivering a clear and concise message by getting your point ...

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How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off?
51 votes

I've been searching for an answer speaking to compromise and I haven't found one I like enough, so here are my two cents. Anne is definitely passionate about her cause, but I think there is still ...

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How to address a someone who is constantly offended on my behalf
47 votes

Since this person is trying to do right by you, it's probably best to approach it by first acknowledging their attempts to be helpful before asking them to stop. I'd recommend privately saying ...

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How to respond to questions at family holiday gatherings without making the asker uncomfortable about my sexuality?
41 votes

In my experience, people typically ask for two reasons: They're being nosey They're ready to talk about it, or they at least want to try My mother flat out expressed to me that she never wanted to ...

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How do I answer the question "why are you vegan?" honestly, without making them resent me?
40 votes

The safest way is to relate your reasons to you directly, instead of making them so-called "global truths". For example, saying The treatment of animals in slaughterhouses is disgusting. can be ...

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Breaking up well
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36 votes

I've went through a lot of break ups since I came out. Most of them were because of my own shortcomings at the time, but in almost all cases I wanted to remain friends with my exes because at the ...

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How can I correct my family's use of language related to LGBT+ issues without making them uncomfortable?
34 votes

Re-learning how to communicate with people we have known for our whole lifetimes can be very complicated. Sometimes their miscommunications might come from them not yet being comfortable addressing ...

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How to tell a co-worker that I feel sorry for something I did
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32 votes

Do you know what the one thing you should definitely not say when you get in a car accident is? "Sorry." Regardless of your role, there's a potential that saying the word 'sorry' could be mistaken as ...

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Dealing with sexual comments from customers
27 votes

I'll omit the shpeel about how to escalate the matter, since that has been covered in other answers. You can certainly do that, but if she threatens to call security as a threat and the individual ...

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How do I convince someone formalities between internet friends aren't necessary over a casual, informal text chat?
24 votes

Instead of outright attempting to convince them to skip their normal modes of communication, or expressing how annoying you find the behavior, I'd recommend you taking more control over the direction ...

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How do I prevent awkwardness between a former romantic interest and myself?
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21 votes

You said that when you're alone: "she'll switch couches, get up and eat something, etc. She also avoids physical contact, like hugs and things like that." This sounds a lot like she's trying to ...

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Is it socially acceptable to dismiss a compliment?
21 votes

I think in most situations, coming off as rude is going to depend a lot on your tone. I feel like one of the safest answers to nicely dismissing a compliment might be to preface it with 'thanks': &...

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How to tell people that I don't like answering my phone?
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21 votes

If it's someone you know fairly well, I would recommend politely saying: I'd rather text/email. I'll be able to provide you with more details if I'm able to visually see my thoughts before giving ...

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How to ask my SO if they are ok with me paying for their flight?
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19 votes

My partner hates being supported financially, and doesn't like when I pay for anything for them. It makes them feel guilty and like a bum. When we run into a situation like this, where the options ...

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How do I politely say no to a stranger asking to use my phone to make a personal call?
18 votes

The #1 rule with saying 'no' to a stranger is to not leave any "wiggle" room for them to appeal to you. With as much confidence as you can muster (avoid any hesitation in your voice), I would suggest ...

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How to approach someone about possibly not attending an event without offending?
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15 votes

I would argue that you should actually speak directly to your brother on the matter. It's his graduation, after all. Talking to your parents or other family members about your attendance will likely ...

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