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You're forgetting what made you love programming in the first place.

(hint: it wasn't "getting yelled at").

Learning cannot happen without both wanting and ability. You must admit there's a certain wonderment at how the things worked and how you could have so much effect with just a few commands (letting the computer iterate instead of you). That wonderment is essential.

You may also be forgetting the speed at which you learned. Did you learn that fast? Don't count in months, count in hours-on-task. If you're tutoring her for 30 minutes a day, you can't expect her to absorb in that 30-minute window concepts that took you a week to ruminate and fully understand.

What's her core motivation for wanting to learn?

Very often, the default reason is "to spend time with you". It's about human bonding, and this motivation often blindsides geeks. (if you want to see somebody who Does Not Get It, watch Doc Martin.) That reason aside...

Obviously, yelling and fighting totally defeats that value. I hope we can establish that any sort of tension utterly destroys all inspiration, and so any further friction is simply out of the question.

A programmer with no reason to program will never engage. The missing piece here is a reason to do it:

  • wanting to set up "scenes" in your smart-lighting system (Insteon, WeMo etc.)
  • wanting to do macros in MMO gaming (e.g. LUA in World of Warcraft)
  • wanting to play with consumer-tier robotics
  • wanting software-driven fashion with Arduino, Raspberry Pi, etc.

Part of the strategy here may be to introduce the reasons into the home. So if she's an MMO gamer, use that. If you've been wobbling about going with smart-home gadgets, choose one with programming opportunities. If you've thought about mutually playing with tech gadgets, go for it.

You super, super suck at teaching

Or maybe not, but I'm saying that *not to be meannot to be mean, but to re-frame your relationship with the task of teaching. Why are you yelling? Because it's frustrating. Why is it frustrating? Because it feels like failing. Why does it feel like failing? Because you feel like you ought to be a good teacher, and it's not working.

Get over that. This is your weak point. (maybe it's only your weak point with her - and her lack of confidence is a factor.) And I don't mean to undercut your own confidence in teaching, but I do want you to pause constantly to think about the approach you are taking.

Treat teaching itself as an actual craft that is a new craft for you. And explore teaching with the same innocence and wonderment you originally brought to programming. It's not a failure when they don't get it, it's a victory when they do.

You're forgetting what made you love programming in the first place.

(hint: it wasn't "getting yelled at").

Learning cannot happen without both wanting and ability. You must admit there's a certain wonderment at how the things worked and how you could have so much effect with just a few commands (letting the computer iterate instead of you). That wonderment is essential.

You may also be forgetting the speed at which you learned. Did you learn that fast? Don't count in months, count in hours-on-task. If you're tutoring her for 30 minutes a day, you can't expect her to absorb in that 30-minute window concepts that took you a week to ruminate and fully understand.

What's her core motivation for wanting to learn?

Very often, the default reason is "to spend time with you". It's about human bonding, and this motivation often blindsides geeks. (if you want to see somebody who Does Not Get It, watch Doc Martin.) That reason aside...

Obviously, yelling and fighting totally defeats that value. I hope we can establish that any sort of tension utterly destroys all inspiration, and so any further friction is simply out of the question.

A programmer with no reason to program will never engage. The missing piece here is a reason to do it:

  • wanting to set up "scenes" in your smart-lighting system (Insteon, WeMo etc.)
  • wanting to do macros in MMO gaming (e.g. LUA in World of Warcraft)
  • wanting to play with consumer-tier robotics
  • wanting software-driven fashion with Arduino, Raspberry Pi, etc.

Part of the strategy here may be to introduce the reasons into the home. So if she's an MMO gamer, use that. If you've been wobbling about going with smart-home gadgets, choose one with programming opportunities. If you've thought about mutually playing with tech gadgets, go for it.

You super, super suck at teaching

Or maybe not, but I'm saying that *not to be mean, but to re-frame your relationship with the task of teaching. Why are you yelling? Because it's frustrating. Why is it frustrating? Because it feels like failing. Why does it feel like failing? Because you feel like you ought to be a good teacher, and it's not working.

Get over that. This is your weak point. (maybe it's only your weak point with her - and her lack of confidence is a factor.) And I don't mean to undercut your own confidence in teaching, but I do want you to pause constantly to think about the approach you are taking.

Treat teaching itself as an actual craft that is a new craft for you. And explore teaching with the same innocence and wonderment you originally brought to programming. It's not a failure when they don't get it, it's a victory when they do.

You're forgetting what made you love programming in the first place.

(hint: it wasn't "getting yelled at").

Learning cannot happen without both wanting and ability. You must admit there's a certain wonderment at how the things worked and how you could have so much effect with just a few commands (letting the computer iterate instead of you). That wonderment is essential.

You may also be forgetting the speed at which you learned. Did you learn that fast? Don't count in months, count in hours-on-task. If you're tutoring her for 30 minutes a day, you can't expect her to absorb in that 30-minute window concepts that took you a week to ruminate and fully understand.

What's her core motivation for wanting to learn?

Very often, the default reason is "to spend time with you". It's about human bonding, and this motivation often blindsides geeks. (if you want to see somebody who Does Not Get It, watch Doc Martin.) That reason aside...

Obviously, yelling and fighting totally defeats that value. I hope we can establish that any sort of tension utterly destroys all inspiration, and so any further friction is simply out of the question.

A programmer with no reason to program will never engage. The missing piece here is a reason to do it:

  • wanting to set up "scenes" in your smart-lighting system (Insteon, WeMo etc.)
  • wanting to do macros in MMO gaming (e.g. LUA in World of Warcraft)
  • wanting to play with consumer-tier robotics
  • wanting software-driven fashion with Arduino, Raspberry Pi, etc.

Part of the strategy here may be to introduce the reasons into the home. So if she's an MMO gamer, use that. If you've been wobbling about going with smart-home gadgets, choose one with programming opportunities. If you've thought about mutually playing with tech gadgets, go for it.

You super, super suck at teaching

Or maybe not, but I'm saying that not to be mean, but to re-frame your relationship with the task of teaching. Why are you yelling? Because it's frustrating. Why is it frustrating? Because it feels like failing. Why does it feel like failing? Because you feel like you ought to be a good teacher, and it's not working.

Get over that. This is your weak point. (maybe it's only your weak point with her - and her lack of confidence is a factor.) And I don't mean to undercut your own confidence in teaching, but I do want you to pause constantly to think about the approach you are taking.

Treat teaching itself as an actual craft that is a new craft for you. And explore teaching with the same innocence and wonderment you originally brought to programming. It's not a failure when they don't get it, it's a victory when they do.

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You're forgetting what made you love programming in the first place.

(hint: it wasn't "getting yelled at").

Learning cannot happen without both wanting and ability. You must admit there's a certain wonderment at how the things worked and how you could have so much effect with just a few commands (letting the computer iterate instead of you). That wonderment is essential.

You may also be forgetting the speed at which you learned. Did you learn that fast? Don't count in months, count in hours-on-task. If you're tutoring her for 30 minutes a day, you can't expect her to absorb in that 30-minute window concepts that took you a week to ruminate and fully understand.

What's her core motivation for wanting to learn?

Very often, the default reason is "to spend time with you". It's about human bonding, and this motivation often blindsides geeks. (if you want to see somebody who Does Not Get It, watch Doc Martin.) That reason aside...

Obviously, yelling and fighting totally defeats that value. I hope we can establish that any sort of tension utterly destroys all inspiration, and so any further friction is simply out of the question.

A programmer with no reason to program will never engage. The missing piece here is a reason to do it:

  • wanting to set up "scenes" in your smart-lighting system (Insteon, WeMo etc.)
  • wanting to do macros in MMO gaming (e.g. LUA in World of Warcraft)
  • wanting to play with consumer-tier robotics
  • wanting software-driven fashion with Arduino, Raspberry Pi, etc.

Part of the strategy here may be to introduce the reasons into the home. So if she's an MMO gamer, use that. If you've been wobbling about going with smart-home gadgets, choose one with programming opportunities. If you've thought about mutually playing with tech gadgets, go for it.

You super, super suck at teaching

Or maybe not, but I'm saying that *not to be mean, but to re-frame your relationship with the task of teaching. Why are you yelling? Because it's frustrating. Why is it frustrating? Because it feels like failing. Why does it feel like failing? Because you feel like you ought to be a good teacher, and it's not working.

Get over that. This is your weak point. (maybe it's only your weak point with her - and her lack of confidence is a factor.) And I don't mean to undercut your own confidence in teaching, but I do want you to pause constantly to think about the approach you are taking.

Treat teaching itself as an actual craft that is a new craft for you. And explore teaching with the same innocence and wonderment you originally brought to programming. It's not a failure when they don't get it, it's a victory when they do.