Now this is a sensitive topic, and I do not wish to offend anyone's sensibilities - but at the same time, I want to know of an effective way of dealing with the disproportionate emotional work required of me, as a racial minority in the country I live in.

I have experienced that talking about racism and race issues with people of the majority race can be particularly emotionally draining and frustrating. Some of the things I regularly encounter are defensiveness, deflections, "tonal" arguments and gaslighting.

I prefer not to discuss race issues with acquaintances of the majority race, because in some respects we live parallel lives, and humans have a tendency of not seeing (or trivialising/being dismissive of) things that don't affect them directly.

Over the years, I have become fed up with these kind of issues. I do understand that some people do really want to understand and be part of the solution. However, I don't feel it's my duty to do the emotional work of unpackaging these issues (some of which may involve reliving personal instances of humiliation etc), especially when the "listener" can decide to walk away at any time and ignore it all, since they may have no "skin in the game".

I would like to know how to POLITELY, RESPECTFULLY BUT FIRMLY, deal with these repeated, unwanted attempts by people of the majority race to pull me into their discussions on issues involving race. I don't want to take on the emotional burden of explaining things and I also want to avoid sounding bitter, resentful or fed up.

Now this is a sensitive topic, and I do not wish to offend anyone's sensibilities - but at the same time, I want to know of an effective way of dealing with the disproportionate emotional work required of me, as a black male living in a white majority country.

I have experienced that talking about racism and race issues with white people can be particularly emotionally draining and frustrating, because of the constant defensiveness, deflections, "tonal" arguments and gaslighting.

I prefer not to discuss race issues with white acquaintances, because in some respects we live parallel lives, and humans have a tendency of not seeing (or trivialising/being dismissive of) things that don't affect them directly.

Over the years, I have become fed up with these kind of issues. I do understand that some white people do really want to understand and be part of the solution. However, I don't feel it's my duty to do the emotional work of unpackaging these issues (some of which may involve reliving personal instances of humiliation etc), especially when the "listener" can decide to walk away at any time and ignore it all, since they may have no "skin in the game".

I would like to know how to POLITELY, RESPECTFULLY BUT FIRMLY, deal with any attempts by white people to engage with me on discussing issues involving race without taking on the emotional burden of explaining things and WITHOUT sounding bitter, resentful or fedup.

Now this is a sensitive topic, and I do not wish to offend anyone's sensibilities - but at the same time, I want to know of an effective way of dealing with the disproportionate emotional work required of me, as a black male living in a white majority country.

I have experienced that talking about racism and race issues with white people can be particularly emotionally draining and frustrating, because of the constant defensiveness, deflections, "tonal" arguments and gaslighting.

I prefer not to discuss race issues with white acquaintances, because in some respects we live parallel lives, and humans have a tendency of not seeing (or trivialising/being dismissive of) things that don't affect them directly.

Over the years, I have become fed up with these kind of issues. I do understand that some white people do really want to understand and be part of the solution. However, I don't feel it's my duty to do the emotional work of unpackaging these issues (some of which may involve reliving personal instances of humiliation etc), especially when the "listener" can decide to walk away at any time and ignore it all, since they may have no "skin in the game".

I would like to know how to POLITELY, RESPECTFULLY BUT FIRMLY, deal with any attempts by white people to engage with me on discussing issues involving race without taking on the emotional burden of explaining things and WITHOUT sounding bitter, resentful or fedup.

Now this is a sensitive topic, and I do not wish to offend anyone's sensibilities - but at the same time, I want to know of an effective way of dealing with the disproportionate emotional work required of me, as a racial minority in the country I live in.

I have experienced that talking about racism and race issues with people of the majority race can be particularly emotionally draining and frustrating. Some of the things I regularly encounter are defensiveness, deflections, "tonal" arguments and gaslighting.

I prefer not to discuss race issues with acquaintances of the majority race, because in some respects we live parallel lives, and humans have a tendency of not seeing (or trivialising/being dismissive of) things that don't affect them directly.

Over the years, I have become fed up with these kind of issues. I do understand that some people do really want to understand and be part of the solution. However, I don't feel it's my duty to do the emotional work of unpackaging these issues (some of which may involve reliving personal instances of humiliation etc), especially when the "listener" can decide to walk away at any time and ignore it all, since they may have no "skin in the game".

I would like to know how to POLITELY, RESPECTFULLY BUT FIRMLY, deal with these repeated, unwanted attempts by people of the majority race to pull me into their discussions on issues involving race. I don't want to take on the emotional burden of explaining things and I also want to avoid sounding bitter, resentful or fed up.

Now this is a sensitive topic, and I do not wish to offend anyone's sensibilities - but at the same time, I want to know of an effective way of dealing with the disproportionate emotional work required of me, as a racial minority in the country I live in.

I have experienced that talking about racism and race issues with people of the majority race can be particularly emotionally draining and frustrating. Some of the things I regularly encounter are defensiveness, deflections, "tonal" arguments and gaslighting.

I prefer not to discuss race issues with acquaintances of the majority race, because in some respects we live parallel lives, and humans have a tendency of not seeing (or trivialising/being dismissive of) things that don't affect them directly.

Over the years, I have become fed up with these kind of issues. I do understand that some people do really want to understand and be part of the solution. However, I don't feel it's my duty to do the emotional work of unpackaging these issues (some of which may involve reliving personal instances of humiliation etc), especially when the "listener" can decide to walk away at any time and ignore it all, since they may have no "skin in the game".

I would like to know how to POLITELY, RESPECTFULLY BUT FIRMLY, deal with these repeated, unwanted attempts by people of the majority race to pull me into their discussions on issues involving race. I don't want to take on the emotional burden of explaining things and I also want to avoid sounding bitter, resentful or fed up.

Now this is a sensitive topic, and I do not wish to offend anyone's sensibilities - but at the same time, I want to know of an effective way of dealing with the disproportionate emotional work required of me, as a black male living in a white majority country.

I have experienced that talking about racism and race issues with white people can be particularly emotionally draining and frustrating, because of the constant defensiveness, deflections, "tonal" arguments and gaslighting.

I prefer not to discuss race issues with white acquaintances, because in some respects we live parallel lives, and humans have a tendency of not seeing (or trivialising/being dismissive of) things that don't affect them directly.

Over the years, I have become fed up with these kind of issues. I do understand that some white people do really want to understand and be part of the solution. However, I don't feel it's my duty to do the emotional work of unpackaging these issues (some of which may involve reliving personal instances of humiliation etc), especially when the "listener" can decide to walk away at any time and ignore it all, since they may have no "skin in the game".

I would like to know how to POLITELY, RESPECTFULLY BUT FIRMLY, deal with any attempts by white people to engage with me on discussing issues involving race without taking on the emotional burden of explaining things and WITHOUT sounding bitter, resentful or fedup.