I have some acquaintances from India who have similar views to yours about bringing children into the world. For them it's an ethical stance about doing their small part in avoiding overpopulation. (I'm simplifying their ideas greatly, of course.)

It's a courageous personal stance worthy of respect. It's also a radical stance that flies in the face of all (more-or-less) human customs throughout most of our history as a species.

And, as you know, you are not just challenging your family with this, but also challenging the customs of your country and the world. It seems unlikely that you will be able to convince your parents or other family members that you are right.

Even if you challenge your parents on a trivial matter they are unlikely to say immediately, "oh dear son, you are right about that and I am wrong." It may take a few hours or days for them to come around to your point of view. And that's about trivial things.

On such a vast question as marriage and children, it may take your family centuries (literally) to accept your point of view. In the meantime your parents will be puzzled and hurt, and wishing it were not so.

You ask about being assertive. You will have to say something like, "I have made up my mind about this. I am aware of your reasons for changing my mind, and with great respect, I do not accept them. I am willing to have an honest conversation with you about the reasons for my choice. But I am not willing to negotiate my choice with you."

You will probably have to repeat those words dozens of times to the same people. Keep in mind that your parents' dreams for you will not be fulfilled. They will require a period of mourning for the loss of those dreams, before they can move on.

You can't expect them to agree with you, or even admit that your position has merit. And you can't expect them to stop using guilt to manipulate you.

Your choice is one of great courage. I wish you that courage and steadfastness.

I have some acquaintances from India who have similar views to yours about bringing children into the world. For them it's an ethical stance about doing their small part in avoiding overpopulation. (I'm simplifying their ideas greatly, of course.)

It's a courageous personal stance worthy of respect. It's also a radical stance that flies in the face of all (more-or-less) human customs throughout most of our history as a species.

And, as you know, you are not just challenging your family with this, but also challenging the customs of your country and the world. It seems unlikely that you will be able to convince your parents or other family members that you are right.

Even if you challenge your parents on a trivial matter they are unlikely to say immediately, "oh dear son, you are right about that and I am wrong." It may take a few hours or days for them to come around to your point of view. And that's about trivial things.

On such a vast question as marriage and children, it may take your family centuries (literally) to accept your point of view. In the meantime your parents will be puzzled and hurt, and wishing it were not so.

You ask about being assertive. You will have to say something like, "I have made up my mind about this. I am aware of your reasons for changing my mind, and with great respect, I do not accept them. I am willing to have an honest conversation with you about the reasons for my choice. But I am not willing to negotiate my choice with you."

You will probably have to repeat those words dozens of times to the same people. Keep in mind that your parents' dreams for you will not be fulfilled. They will require a period of mourning for the loss of those dreams, before they can move on.

You can't expect them to agree with you, or even admit that your position has merit. And you can't expect them to stop using guilt to manipulate you.

Edit You asked, "how can I be assertive?" Please consider this: being assertive is not being "aggressive." Being assertive means speaking truly with personal conviction.

It's hard to be assertive with family, because they will try to draw you into negotiation. They will try to draw you into a word game where there are winners and losers: where being aggressive helps. If they do get you to join the game they will work hard to win. And, for you to win the game you're forced to make them lose. That's hard with family. It's much easier, and more respectful, to avoid the negotiation game by refusing to play it.

Your choice is one of great courage. The future life of the world depends on choices like yours. I wish you continued courage and steadfastness.