1 Befriend the wife.

I'm a single man who is friends with married women. I don't want us getting feelings for the other. I know it can happen if you're not careful. So I intentionally befriend the husbands. It quickly becomes a genuine friendship (from being intentional to being natural). I usually end up closer to the husband than the wife. As a byproduct, the husbands trust me.

I suspect if you befriended the wives, things would work out better for you.

2 Set boundaries for yourself.

Here are the ones I use:

• I don't call/hang out with/etc. a married woman more than once week.

• When I message or text a married woman I do group texts between her and her husband.

I have found these to work for me. Maybe different standards would work better for you. Pick standards that you think strengthen their marriage. The specific standards don't matter as much as your desire to strengthen their marriage.

EvilSnack suggested this boundary: "Do not discuss your male friends' marriage troubles with them (the general principle being, do not discuss marriage difficulties with anyone you could run off with)."

3 Be willing to let go.

If you love someone, your focus is on them, not you. At the extreme, if they're happier without you, that's okay because you're happy to see them happy. If you were truly focused on your friends and their wives, you'd value their marriages so much that if your friendship was getting in the way of their marriage, you'd be willing to sacrifice your friendship for their marriage. The easiest example is if either of you started developing feelings for the other. Obviously dropping the friendship entirely is a last resort. Make sure there isn't something else you can change, first. The main point is - be focused on them, and their marriage - not you. You're not letting go of the friendship. You're letting go of what you want.

The closer you are to being on their side like this, the more likely the wives will see you on their side. However you can't fake being on their side. It has to be genuine.

I'm not sure where you are with this. But I thought it was worth mentioning.

Someone mentioned self-respect and worth. To clarify: You should love others and yourself. So far I've only mentioned the first. I thought the second was implicit. I'm making it explicit, now. Do not let them overstep your boundaries. And do not do anything to your detriment. If your boundaries are not being violated and you are not being harmed, etc., then you are loving yourself. Now the loving thing to do for them is being focused on them.

1. Befriend the wife.

I'm a single man who is friends with married women. I don't want us getting feelings for the other. I know it can happen if you're not careful. So I intentionally befriend the husbands. It quickly becomes a genuine friendship (from being intentional to being natural). I usually end up closer to the husband than the wife. As a byproduct, the husbands trust me.

I suspect if you befriended the wives, things would work out better for you.

2. Set boundaries for yourself.

Here are the ones I use:

• I don't call/hang out with/etc. a married woman more than once week.

• When I message or text a married woman I do group texts between her and her husband.

I have found these to work for me. Maybe different standards would work better for you. Pick standards that you think strengthen their marriage. The specific standards don't matter as much as your desire to strengthen their marriage.

EvilSnack suggested this boundary: "Do not discuss your male friends' marriage troubles with them (the general principle being, do not discuss marriage difficulties with anyone you could run off with)."

3. Be willing to let go.

If you love someone, your focus is on them, not you. At the extreme, if they're happier without you, that's okay because you're happy to see them happy. If you were truly focused on your friends and their wives, you'd value their marriages so much that if your friendship was getting in the way of their marriage, you'd be willing to sacrifice your friendship for their marriage. The easiest example is if either of you started developing feelings for the other. Obviously dropping the friendship entirely is a last resort. Make sure there isn't something else you can change, first. The main point is - be focused on them, and their marriage - not you. You're not letting go of the friendship. You're letting go of what you want.

The closer you are to being on their side like this, the more likely the wives will see you on their side. However you can't fake being on their side. It has to be genuine.

I'm not sure where you are with this. But I thought it was worth mentioning.

Someone mentioned self-respect and worth. To clarify: You should love others and yourself. So far I've only mentioned the first. I thought the second was implicit. I'm making it explicit, now. Do not let them overstep your boundaries. And do not do anything to your detriment. If your boundaries are not being violated and you are not being harmed, etc., then you are loving yourself. Now the loving thing to do for them is being focused on them.

1 Befriend the wife.

I'm a single man who is friend with married women. In my case I don't want either of us getting feelings for each other. I know it can happen if you're not careful. So I intentionally befriend the husbands. It doesn't take long for it to be geniuine friendship. (It moves from being intentional to being natural.) I usually end up closer to the husband than the wife. As a byproduct, I've never had an issue with husbands trusting me.

I suspect if you befriended the wives, things would work out better for you.

2 Set boundaries for yourself.

Here are the ones I use:

• I don't call/hang out with/etc. a married woman more than once week.

• When I message or text a married woman I do group texts between her and her husband.

Pick ones that you think strengthen their marriage. That should be your desire.

EvilSnack suggested this boundary: "Do not discuss your male friends' marriage troubles with them (the general principle being, do not discuss marriage difficulties with anyone you could run off with)."

3 Be willing to let go.

If you love someone else, your focus is on them, not you. At the extreme, if not being with you makes them happy, you'd be okay with that because you're happy to see them happy. If you were truly focused on your friends and their wives, you'd value their marriages so much that if your friendship was getting in the way of their marriage, you'd be willing to sacrifice your friendship for their marriage. The easiest example is if either of you started developing feelings for the other. Obviously dropping the friendship entirely is a last resort. Make sure there isn't something else you can change, first. The main point is - be focused on them, and their marriage - not you. You're not letting go of the friendship. You're letting go of what you want.

The closer you are to being on their side like this, the more likely the wives will see you on their side. However it's not something you can fake. It has to be genuine.

I'm not sure where you are with this. But I thought it was worth mentioning.

Someone mentioned self-respect and worth. To clarify: You should love others and yourself. So far I've only mentioned the first. I thought the second was implicit. I'm making it explicit, now. By loving yourself, you do not let them overstep your boundaries. And do not do anything to your detriment. If your boundaries are not being violated and you are not being harmed, etc., then you are loving yourself, now the loving thing to do for them is being focused on them.

1 Befriend the wife.

I'm a single man who is friends with married women. I don't want us getting feelings for the other. I know it can happen if you're not careful. So I intentionally befriend the husbands. It quickly becomes a genuine friendship  (from being intentional to being natural). I usually end up closer to the husband than the wife. As a byproduct, the husbands trust me.

I suspect if you befriended the wives, things would work out better for you.

2 Set boundaries for yourself.

Here are the ones I use:

• I don't call/hang out with/etc. a married woman more than once week.

• When I message or text a married woman I do group texts between her and her husband.

I have found these to work for me. Maybe different standards would work better for you. Pick standards that you think strengthen their marriage. The specific standards don't matter as much as your desire to strengthen their marriage.

EvilSnack suggested this boundary: "Do not discuss your male friends' marriage troubles with them (the general principle being, do not discuss marriage difficulties with anyone you could run off with)."

3 Be willing to let go.

If you love someone, your focus is on them, not you. At the extreme, if they're happier without you, that's okay because you're happy to see them happy. If you were truly focused on your friends and their wives, you'd value their marriages so much that if your friendship was getting in the way of their marriage, you'd be willing to sacrifice your friendship for their marriage. The easiest example is if either of you started developing feelings for the other. Obviously dropping the friendship entirely is a last resort. Make sure there isn't something else you can change, first. The main point is - be focused on them, and their marriage - not you. You're not letting go of the friendship. You're letting go of what you want.

The closer you are to being on their side like this, the more likely the wives will see you on their side. However you can't fake being on their side. It has to be genuine.

I'm not sure where you are with this. But I thought it was worth mentioning.

Someone mentioned self-respect and worth. To clarify: You should love others and yourself. So far I've only mentioned the first. I thought the second was implicit. I'm making it explicit, now. Do not let them overstep your boundaries. And do not do anything to your detriment. If your boundaries are not being violated and you are not being harmed, etc., then you are loving yourself. Now the loving thing to do for them is being focused on them.

1 Befriend the wife.

I'm a single man who is friend with married women. In my case I don't want either of us getting feelings for each other. I know it can happen if you're not careful. So I intentionally befriend the husbands. It doesn't take long for it to be geniuine friendship. (It moves from being intentional to being natural.) I usually end up closer to the husband than the wife. As a byproduct, I've never had an issue with husbands trusting me.

I suspect if you befriended the wives, things would work out better for you.

2 Set boundaries for yourself.

Here are the ones I use:

• I don't call/hang out with/etc. a married woman more than once week.

• When I message or text a married woman I do group texts between her and her husband.

• Pick ones that you think strengthen their marriage. That should be your desire.

3 Be willing to let go.

If you love someone else, your focus is on them, not you. At the extreme, if not being with you makes them happy, you'd be okay with that because you're happy to see them happy. If you were truly focused on your friends and their wives, you'd value their marriages so much that if your friendship was getting in the way of their marriage, you'd be willing to sacrifice your friendship for their marriage. The easiest example is if either of you started developing feelings for the other. Obviously dropping the friendship entirely is a last resort. Make sure there isn't something else you can change, first. The main point is - be focused on them, and their marriage - not you. You're not letting go of the friendship. You're letting go of what you want.

The closer you are to being on their side like this, the more likely the wives will see you on their side. However it's not something you can fake. It has to be genuine.

I'm not sure where you are with this. But I thought it was worth mentioning.

Someone mentioned self-respect and worth. To clarify: You should love others and yourself. So far I've only mentioned the first. I thought the second was implicit. I'm making it explicit, now. By loving yourself, you do not let them overstep your boundaries. And do not do anything to your detriment. If your boundaries are not being violated and you are not being harmed, etc., then you are loving yourself, now the loving thing to do for them is being focused on them.

1 Befriend the wife.

I'm a single man who is friend with married women. In my case I don't want either of us getting feelings for each other. I know it can happen if you're not careful. So I intentionally befriend the husbands. It doesn't take long for it to be geniuine friendship. (It moves from being intentional to being natural.) I usually end up closer to the husband than the wife. As a byproduct, I've never had an issue with husbands trusting me.

I suspect if you befriended the wives, things would work out better for you.

2 Set boundaries for yourself.

Here are the ones I use:

• I don't call/hang out with/etc. a married woman more than once week.

• When I message or text a married woman I do group texts between her and her husband.

Pick ones that you think strengthen their marriage. That should be your desire.

EvilSnack suggested this boundary: "Do not discuss your male friends' marriage troubles with them (the general principle being, do not discuss marriage difficulties with anyone you could run off with)."

3 Be willing to let go.

If you love someone else, your focus is on them, not you. At the extreme, if not being with you makes them happy, you'd be okay with that because you're happy to see them happy. If you were truly focused on your friends and their wives, you'd value their marriages so much that if your friendship was getting in the way of their marriage, you'd be willing to sacrifice your friendship for their marriage. The easiest example is if either of you started developing feelings for the other. Obviously dropping the friendship entirely is a last resort. Make sure there isn't something else you can change, first. The main point is - be focused on them, and their marriage - not you. You're not letting go of the friendship. You're letting go of what you want.

The closer you are to being on their side like this, the more likely the wives will see you on their side. However it's not something you can fake. It has to be genuine.

I'm not sure where you are with this. But I thought it was worth mentioning.

Someone mentioned self-respect and worth. To clarify: You should love others and yourself. So far I've only mentioned the first. I thought the second was implicit. I'm making it explicit, now. By loving yourself, you do not let them overstep your boundaries. And do not do anything to your detriment. If your boundaries are not being violated and you are not being harmed, etc., then you are loving yourself, now the loving thing to do for them is being focused on them.