Return to Question

I've been making a more conscious effort to work on my social skills lately. Particularly soft skills dealings with random people in public places. My shrink recommended that I do the obvious thing: "Go out in public, and do something that you enjoy doing, while making an honest effort to interact with other people."

I figured that adjusting the way I play darts would meet the requirements, so that's what I've been doing once or twice a week.

Last night I ran into a familiar irritation. Rowdy, drunk, guys. They were playing pool, beating their chests, and shouting back and forth about their shots, sexual prowess/orientation and how that somehow related to their ability to play pool. Whole lotta:

What!?! What now!?! Did you see that shot!?!

Followed by a long back and forth about who was gay and who was the bigger man... While literally beating their chests.

The first couple of times, I laughed, but as things progressed they gradually got louder and more obnoxious about it. Eventually it got to the point where I couldn't get in the groove and play darts. It was just too loud and too distracting.

I'm wondering if there's an effective strategy for getting guys like these to settle down in a situation where they're at full volume and escalating their weird alpha male competition.

The old me would have gone straight to open hostility and potential violence, but I'm trying real hard not to be that person anymore. Jail is unpleasant and filled with these sorts of situations.

I ended up dealing with it, by not dealing with it. I just played darts distracted and poorly till an older couple schooled them on the pool table (beat them in a game, gaining control of the table).

Is there a way to get guys in this sort of situation to chill out, without being aggressively confrontational?

I've been making a more conscious effort to work on my social skills lately. Particularly soft skills dealings with random people in public places. My shrink recommended that I do the obvious thing, "Go out in public, and do something that you enjoy doing, while making an honest effort to interact with other people."

I figured that adjusting the way I play darts would meet the requirements, so that's what I've been doing once or twice a week.

Last night I ran into a familiar irritation. Rowdy, drunk, guys. They were playing pool, beating their chests, and shouting back and forth about their shots, sexual prowess/orientation and how that somehow related to their ability to play pool. Whole lotta:

What!?! What now!?! Did you see that shot!?!

Followed by a long back and forth about who was gay and who was the bigger man... While literally beating their chests.

The first couple of times, I laughed, but as things progressed they gradually got louder and more obnoxious about it. Eventually it got to the point where I couldn't get in the groove and play darts. It was just too loud and too distracting.

I'm wondering if there's an effective strategy for getting guys like these to settle down in a situation where they're at full volume and escalating their weird alpha male competition.

The old me would have went straight to open hostility and potential violence, but I'm trying real hard not to be that person anymore. Jail is unpleasant and filled with these sorts of situations.

I ended up dealing with it, by not dealing with it. I just played darts distracted and poorly till an older couple schooled them on the pool table (beat them in a game, gaining control of the table).

Is there a way to get guys in this sort of situation to chill out, without being aggressively confrontational?

I've been making a more conscious effort to work on my social skills lately. Particularly soft skills dealings with random people in public places. My shrink recommended that I do the obvious thing: "Go out in public, and do something that you enjoy doing, while making an honest effort to interact with other people."

I figured that adjusting the way I play darts would meet the requirements, so that's what I've been doing once or twice a week.

Last night I ran into a familiar irritation. Rowdy, drunk, guys. They were playing pool, beating their chests, and shouting back and forth about their shots, sexual prowess/orientation and how that would be somehow related to their ability to play pool. Whole lotta:

What!?! What now!?! Did you see that shot!?!

Followed by a long back and forth about who was gay and who was the bigger man... While literally beating their chests.

The first couple of times, I laughed, but as things progressed they gradually got louder and more obnoxious about it. Eventually it got to the point where I couldn't get in the groove and play darts. It was just too loud and too distracting.

I'm wondering if there's an effective strategy for getting guys like these to settle down in a situation where they're at full volume and escalating their weird alpha male competition.

The old me would have gone straight to open hostility and potential violence, but I'm trying real hard not to be that person anymore. Jail is unpleasant and filled with these sorts of situations.

I ended up dealing with it, by not dealing with it. I just played darts distracted and poorly till an older couple schooled them on the pool table (beat them in a game, gaining control of the table).

Is there a way to get guys in this sort of situation to chill out, without being aggressively confrontational?

I've been making a more conscious effort to work on my social skills lately. Particularly soft skills dealings with random people in public places. My shrink recommended that I do the obvious thing: "Go out in public, and do something that you enjoy doing, while making an honest effort to interact with other people."

I figured that adjusting the way I play darts would meet the requirements, so that's what I've been doing once or twice a week.

Last night I ran into a familiar irritation. Rowdy, drunk, guys. They were playing pool, beating their chests, and shouting back and forth about their shots, sexual prowess/orientation and how that somehow related to their ability to play pool. Whole lotta:

What!?! What now!?! Did you see that shot!?!

Followed by a long back and forth about who was gay and who was the bigger man... While literally beating their chests.

The first couple of times, I laughed, but as things progressed they gradually got louder and more obnoxious about it. Eventually it got to the point where I couldn't get in the groove and play darts. It was just too loud and too distracting.

I'm wondering if there's an effective strategy for getting guys like these to settle down in a situation where they're at full volume and escalating their weird alpha male competition.

The old me would have gone straight to open hostility and potential violence, but I'm trying real hard not to be that person anymore. Jail is unpleasant and filled with these sorts of situations.

I ended up dealing with it, by not dealing with it. I just played darts distracted and poorly till an older couple schooled them on the pool table (beat them in a game, gaining control of the table).

Is there a way to get guys in this sort of situation to chill out, without being aggressively confrontational?

I've been making a more conscious effort to work on my social skills lately. Particularly soft skills dealings with random people in public places. My shrink recommended that I do the obvious thing, "Go out in public, and do something that you enjoy doing, while making an honest effort to interact with other people."

I figured that adjusting the way I play darts would meet the requirements, so that's what I've been doing once or twice a week.

Last night I ran into a familiar irritation. Rowdy, drunk, guys. They were playing pool, beating their chests, and shouting back and forth about their shots, sexual prowess/orientation and how that somehow related to their ability to play pool. Whole lotta:

What!?! What now!?! Did you see that shot!?!

Followed by a long back and forth about who was gay and who was the bigger man... While literally beating their chests.

The first couple of times, I laughed, but as things progressed they gradually got louder and more obnoxious about it. Eventually it got to the point where I couldn't get in the groove and play darts. It was just too loud and too distracting.

I'm wondering if there's an effective strategy for getting guys like these to settle down in a situation where they're at full volume and escalating their weird alpha male competition.

The old me would have went straight to open hostility and potential violence, but I'm trying real hard not to be that person anymore. Jail is unpleasant and filled with these sorts of situations.

I ended up dealing with it, by not dealing with it. I just played darts distracted and poorly till an older couple schooled them on the pool table (beat them in a game, gaining control of the table).

Is there a way to get guys in this sort of situation to chill out, without being aggressively confrontational?

I've been making a more conscious effort to work on my social skills lately. Particularly soft skills dealings with random people in public places. My shrink recommended that I do the obvious thing: "Go out in public, and do something that you enjoy doing, while making an honest effort to interact with other people."

I figured that adjusting the way I play darts would meet the requirements, so that's what I've been doing once or twice a week.

Last night I ran into a familiar irritation. Rowdy, drunk, guys. They were playing pool, beating their chests, and shouting back and forth about their shots, sexual prowess/orientation and how that would be somehow related to their ability to play pool. Whole lotta:

What!?! What now!?! Did you see that shot!?!

Followed by a long back and forth about who was gay and who was the bigger man... While literally beating their chests.

The first couple of times, I laughed, but as things progressed they gradually got louder and more obnoxious about it. Eventually it got to the point where I couldn't get in the groove and play darts. It was just too loud and too distracting.

I'm wondering if there's an effective strategy for getting guys like these to settle down in a situation where they're at full volume and escalating their weird alpha male competition.

The old me would have gone straight to open hostility and potential violence, but I'm trying real hard not to be that person anymore. Jail is unpleasant and filled with these sorts of situations.

I ended up dealing with it, by not dealing with it. I just played darts distracted and poorly till an older couple schooled them on the pool table (beat them in a game, gaining control of the table).

Is there a way to get guys in this sort of situation to chill out, without being aggressively confrontational?