I’m in receipt of such interactions from time to time, and ensuring that the other person isn’t offended by my response isn’t necessarily my primary concern if they’re being particularly patronising or condescending. I typically find it comes from people who are somewhat ignorant in their own way, and aren’t necessarily sensitive to the capabilities and intellectual capacities of others; they’ve just found a way to make the world work for them and have decided it’s the way it must be done.

That said, you do have to work with/maintain a daily and relatively friction free relationship with these people.. Something as simple as pointing out “yes, I had made the mental connection that the kettle needed water in it before it could boil said water, but if there’s something about me that led you to believe I wasn’t capable of understanding I’d genuinely appreciate knowing what it is?” a few times, maybe out of earshot or others so you’re not publicly calling them out on being a douche, may be all that’s required. If you’re getting these comments because the commenter is similarly continually amazed at how the world works, don’t be surprised if this approach doesn’t work out- there genuinely may be nothing you can do to stop them thinking you need the extra info because they needed it once too

I’m also not sure what you could come up with for the kettle example; to me that’s just out and out patronising because a 3 year old wouldn’t struggle to connect those dots..

As others have already commented, modifying the timing of your response may help. A few jobs back I had a colleague who was foreign, though fluent in English. One aspect of interacting with him that a lot of people found problematic was that he didn’t make responses at expected points in conversations. We’d say something and stop, expecting a response to indicate understanding, and it wouldn’t come. It was like speaking into a void, and people ended up over explaining. Acknowledgement would then come, leaving the impression that the overexplanation was required. If he’d jumped in earlier with a variation of whatever over-explanation was imminent, he’d have shut down the opportunity for the explainer to make it

I’m in receipt of such interactions from time to time, and ensuring that the other person isn’t offended by my response isn’t necessarily my primary concern if they’re being particularly patronising or condescending. I typically find it comes from people who are somewhat ignorant in their own way, and aren’t necessarily sensitive to the capabilities and intellectual capacities of others; they’ve just found a way to make the world work for them and have decided it’s the way it must be done. That said, I am at fault for some of the interactions and I know why - I’ll get to that later

You said that most people treat you this way, and in the spirit of “we teach other people how to treat us” you’ve probably (without realising) engineered a situation where people think you need the overexplanation. If you’re now seeking to turn that around, perhaps start with the people who you know and get on with best - something as simple as asking “yes, I had made the mental connection that the kettle needed water in it before it could boil said water, and I find that people tend to state the obvious to me a lot. Is there something about our past interactions that led you to believe I needed that extra info?” a few times, maybe out of earshot or others so you’re not publicly calling them out on being a douche, may be all that’s required. If you’re getting these comments because the commenter is similarly continually amazed at how the world works, don’t be surprised if this approach doesn’t work out- there genuinely may be nothing you can do to stop them thinking you need the extra info because they needed it once too

If the root cause of the problem is that you’ve managed to teach people around you to perceive you as lacking the mental agility to make connections on your own it should be entirely reversible, but you’ll need to teach them the exact opposite of what they already think about you, and that’s a bit more of an uphill struggle than coming from a position of no preconceptions.

As others have already commented, modifying the timing of your response may help. A few jobs back I had a colleague who was foreign, though fluent in English. One aspect of interacting with him that a lot of people found problematic was that he didn’t make responses at expected points in conversations. We’d say something and stop, expecting a response to indicate understanding, and it wouldn’t come. It was like speaking into a void, and people ended up over explaining to fill the silence, partly because they thought he wasn’t getting it, and partly because hey didn’t like silences. Acknowledgement would then come, leaving the impression that the overexplanation was required. If he’d jumped in earlier with a variation of whatever over-explanation was imminent, he’d have shut down the opportunity for the explainer to make it

I mentioned that I receive such things occasionally, and I know how it’s come about -I have a habit of thinking about many things, and I’m occasionally more interested in finishing my train of thought than being mentally yanked into the room to interact with a person telling me to put water in the kettle, so the initial interaction isn’t heeded. I know that no one likes to feel like they aren’t being listened to, and thus the fault is mine for not listening to them initially. I take the blame/punishment by accepting an overexplanation because it gives me time to work out what their original problem was (the bit I didn’t i didn’t listen to) but it makes me like the typical “absent minded professor” albeit with an aversion to saying “hmm.. what did you say?”

In summary, if you find most people treat you like this, it’s either that you hang out with a considerable quantity of patronising douches or it’s the case that something about you has taught them to do it. If you’re struggling to work out what isn’t is, ask them- they’re uniquely qualified to answer because only they truly know why they act like they do. If you don’t want to ask, it’ll be a lot of patience, introspection and trial and error, maybe also involving getting a new group of friends without the preconceptions (if you want faster results)