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Why do people have that fear and hate in the first place? It comes from a very primitive place in the human psyche: an in-group vs. out-group instinct that says "people like me are good, people who are not like me are bad". From an evolutionary perspective, it is easy to see how this mentality is adaptive in a context, where people live in small social units that must compete against other units for resources and survival. The more people feel that the survival of their group is somehow threatened, the stronger these tribal instincts become.

In my experience, people can change and recover from hate, but the only way to do this is by appealing to the same in-group vs. out-group instinct that leads to hate in the first place. The key is for that person to feel as if members of the "out-group" are now in their "in-group", Which shatters the divide that they previously held in their mind. You mentioned in the comments that you and Bob don't have Muslim friends in your circle, which is not surprising at all. If Bob was actually friends with Muslims and felt that some Muslims are in his in-group because they share many of his interests, values, humor, etc., it would become impossible for him to hate "Muslims" in general, and he would be forced to develop a more nuanced view on what it means to be Muslim.

I have had this experience many times in my life with homophobic people. I grew up in a very homophobic environment, including my immediate family and many friends growing up. Long before they knew I was gay, I used to argue with them about their homophobic views using facts, logic, science, etc. I thought that if I could just come up with the perfect, irrefutable argument, then I could change their minds. But it never worked out that way. It seemed like my arguments would only entrench them further in their views, as they would find their own dubious "science" and "facts" to support the idea that gay people are disgusting, unnatural, perverted, immoral, and harmful to society. It wasn't until I returned home as an adult and started saying two simple words, "I'm gay", that the vast majority of people I was close to actually changed their views on homosexuality completely. I have even heard some of these former homophobes standing up for LGBT people when they hear negative comments in their wider social circle, and it is all because when they think of gay people now, they don't think of some scary imaginary weirdos out there in the world threatening their sense of normalcy- instead, they think of ME, a normal person in their in-group who they care about. Thus, the same in-group vs. out-group instincts that made them hateful towards LGBT people in the past have now made them protective towards LGBT people.

Why do people have that fear and hate in the first place? It comes from a very primitive place in the human psyche: an in-group vs. out-group instinct that says "people like me are good, people who are not like me are bad". From an evolutionary perspective, it is easy to see how this mentality is adaptive in a context where people live in small social units that must compete against other units for resources and survival. The more people feel that the survival of their group is somehow threatened, the stronger these tribal instincts become.

In my experience, people can change and recover from hate, but the only way to do this is by appealing to the same in-group vs. out-group instinct that leads to hate in the first place. The key is for that person to feel as if members of the "out-group" are now in their "in-group", which shatters the divide that they previously held in their mind. You mentioned in the comments that you and Bob don't have Muslim friends in your circle, which is not surprising at all. If Bob was actually friends with Muslims, and felt that some Muslims are in his in-group because they share many of his interests, values, humor, etc., it would become impossible for him to hate "Muslims" in general, and he would be forced to develop a more nuanced view on what it means to be Muslim.

I have had this experience many times in my life with homophobic people. I grew up in a very homophobic environment, including my immediate family and many friends growing up. Long before they knew I was gay, I used to argue with them about their homophobic views using facts, logic, science, etc. I thought that if I could just come up with the perfect, irrefutable argument, then I could change their minds. But it never worked out that way. It seemed like my arguments would only entrench them further in their views, as they would find their own dubious "science" and "facts" to support the idea that gay people are disgusting, unnatural, perverted, immoral, and harmful to society. It wasn't until I returned home as an adult and started saying two simple words, "I'm gay", that the vast majority of people I was close to actually changed their views on homosexuality completely. I have even heard some of these former homophobes standing up for LGBT people when they hear negative comments in their wider social circle, and it is all because when they think of gay people now, they don't think of some scary imaginary weirdos out there in the world threatening their sense of normalcy- instead, they think of ME, a normal person in their in-group who they care about. Thus, the same in-group vs. out-group instincts that made them hateful towards LGBT people in the past have now made them protective towards LGBT people.

Why do people have that fear and hate in the first place? It comes from a very primitive place in the human psyche: an in-group vs. out-group instinct that says "people like me are good, people who are not like me are bad". From an evolutionary perspective, it is easy to see how this mentality is adaptive in a context where people live in small social units that must compete against other units for resources and survival. The more people feel that the survival of their group is somehow threatened, the stronger these tribal instincts become.

In my experience, people can change and recover from hate, but the only way to do this is by appealing to the same in-group vs. out-group instinct that leads to hate in the first place. The key is for that person to feel as if members of the "out-group" are now in their "in-group", which shatters the divide that they previously held in their mind. You mentioned in the comments that you and Bob don't have Muslim friends in your circle, which is not surprising at all. If Bob was actually friends with Muslims, and felt that some Muslims are in his in-group because they share many of his interests, values, humor, etc., it would become impossible for him to hate "Muslims" in general, and he would be forced to develop a more nuanced view on what it means to be Muslim.

I have had this experience many times in my life with homophobic people. I grew up in a very homophobic environment, including my immediate family and many friends growing up. Long before they knew I was gay, I used to argue with them about their homophobic views using facts, logic, science, etc. I thought that if I could just come up with the perfect, irrefutable argument, then I could change their minds. But it never worked out that way. It seemed like my arguments would only entrench them further in their views, as they would find their own dubious "science" and "facts" to support the idea that gay people are disgusting, unnatural, perverted, immoral, and harmful to society. It wasn't until I returned home as an adult and started saying two simple words, "I'm gay", that the vast majority of people I was close to actually changed their views on homosexuality completely. I have even heard some of these former homophobes standing up for LGBT people when they hear negative comments in their wider social circle, and it is all because when they think of gay people now, they don't think of some scary imaginary weirdos out there in the world threatening their sense of normalcy- instead, they think of ME, a normal person in their in-group who they care about. Thus, the same in-group vs. out-group instincts that made them hateful towards LGBT people in the past have now made them protective towards LGBT people.

Why do people have that fear and hate in the first place? It comes from a very primitive place in the human psyche: an in-group vs. out-group instinct that says "people like me are good, people who are not like me are bad". From an evolutionary perspective, it is easy to see how this mentality is adaptive in a context, where people live in small social units that must compete against other units for resources and survival. The more people feel that the survival of their group is somehow threatened, the stronger these tribal instincts become.

In my experience, people can change and recover from hate, but the only way to do this is by appealing to the same in-group vs. out-group instinct that leads to hate in the first place. The key is for that person to feel as if members of the "out-group" are now in their "in-group", Which shatters the divide that they previously held in their mind. You mentioned in the comments that you and Bob don't have Muslim friends in your circle, which is not surprising at all. If Bob was actually friends with Muslims and felt that some Muslims are in his in-group because they share many of his interests, values, humor, etc., it would become impossible for him to hate "Muslims" in general, and he would be forced to develop a more nuanced view on what it means to be Muslim.

I have had this experience many times in my life with homophobic people. I grew up in a very homophobic environment, including my immediate family and many friends growing up. Long before they knew I was gay, I used to argue with them about their homophobic views using facts, logic, science, etc. I thought that if I could just come up with the perfect, irrefutable argument, then I could change their minds. But it never worked out that way. It seemed like my arguments would only entrench them further in their views, as they would find their own dubious "science" and "facts" to support the idea that gay people are disgusting, unnatural, perverted, immoral, and harmful to society. It wasn't until I returned home as an adult and started saying two simple words, "I'm gay", that the vast majority of people I was close to actually changed their views on homosexuality completely. I have even heard some of these former homophobes standing up for LGBT people when they hear negative comments in their wider social circle, and it is all because when they think of gay people now, they don't think of some scary imaginary weirdos out there in the world threatening their sense of normalcy- instead, they think of ME, a normal person in their in-group who they care about. Thus, the same in-group vs. out-group instincts that made them hateful towards LGBT people in the past have now made them protective towards LGBT people.

In terms of what YOU can do in the immediate situation, it should be clear by now that I don't think there is a quick and easy answer. It may be that there is not much you can do besides being patient, sharing your experiences, setting a good example, and hoping that Bob eventually has an experience that changes him. But if your goal is to help Bob change, I don't think that arguing endlessly or treating him with meanness is productive.

For further reading on this, reading the stories of reformed white supremacists is really helpful, and there is a lot of material out there (just Google, e.g., "reforming white supremacists"). There are also entire organizations dedicated to reforming members of hateful groups, e.g., Klansmen, neo-Nazis, etc. These are obviously extreme cases, but hate is hate, and it comes from the same place, so you might get some insight from these cases.