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1. Don't feel the need to force the conversation.

2. Don't feel the need to have continuity. If the conversation is getting stale you will make the other person very happy by just changing the subject.

3. Literally just talk about a hobby you enjoy. I like collecting coins and have had great success in making small talk about coins with people.

If you are passionate about something and enthusiatic when you talk, it will make whoever you are talking to as well. They don't have to know neccesarily that much of what you are talking about, but because people have empathy they will see you happy and talking and will become so themselves.

4. Get someone talking about something they are passionate about. You will know its something they are passionate about, because you won't have to prompt them.

Simarily to the previous example, I have had great success asking about people's hobbies. But some people don't have hobbies, so tv/movies are another great option.

1. Don't feel the need to force the conversation.

2. Don't feel the need to have continuity. If the conversation is getting stale you will make the other person very happy by just changing the subject.

3. Literally just talk about a hobby you enjoy. I like collecting coins and have had great success in making small talk about coins with people. If you are passionate about something and enthusiatic when you talk, it will make whoever you are talking to as well. They don't have to know neccesarily that much of what you are talking about, but because people have empathy they will see you happy and talking and will become so themselves.

4. Get someone talking about something they are passionate about. You will know its something they are passionate about, because you won't have to prompt them. Simarily to the previous example, I have had great success asking about people's hobbies. But some people don't have hobbies, so tv/movies are another great option.

1. Avoiding "coping" mechanisms/thoughts. Don't think in your head, "oh nobody even noticed that" or "most people are not even paying attention to others". These work in getting through situations, but they do not build anything. I started making real progress when I stopped trying to outthink the anxiety and the negative and got out of my head. When I socialize with others I try not to think at all, kinda like I am meditating. I just let myself feel the emotions without judgment, without thought.

2. Aerobic Exercise. This has been very helpful for me short term and long term. Short term, really pushing yourself physically is going to make you be in the moment and make you forget about the other negative shit. Long term, I no longer associate a high heart rate and sweating with negative social situations, I associate it with a nice run. Instead of thinking of my adrenaline as being anxiety, I now think of it as excitement. It doesn't matter what this activity is as long as it pushes you HARD and is something you don't hate doing. By pushing you hard, it has to push you close to your max heart rate.

3. Laughing. Life is funny, and you shouldn't take it seriously all the time. I watch a t.v. show like the office and laugh. Why can't I do the same for my own silly mistakes and weirdness? Just try and find the humor in things. This also helps when you do something dumb or awkward, you can just laugh it off. This can turn a negative situation into something that will make you more relatable and human. Generally, people love to laugh and the easiest way to make others laugh is to laughing oneself.

1. Avoiding "coping" mechanisms/thoughts. Don't think in your head, "oh nobody even noticed that" or "most people are not even paying attention to others". These work in getting through situations, but they do not build anything. I started making real progress when I stopped trying to outthink the anxiety and the negative and got out of my head. When I socialize with others I try not to think at all, kinda like I am meditating. I just let myself feel the emotions without judgment, without thought.

2. Aerobic Exercise. This has been very helpful for me short term and long term. Short term, really pushing yourself physically is going to make you be in the moment and make you forget about the other negative shit. Long term, I no longer associate a high heart rate and sweating with negative social situations, I associate it with a nice run. Instead of thinking of my adrenaline as being anxiety, I now think of it as excitement. It doesn't matter what this activity is as long as it raises your heart rate close to its max and is something you are comfortable doing regularly.

3. Laughing. Life is funny, and you shouldn't take it seriously all the time. I watch a t.v. show like the office and laugh. Why can't I do the same for my own silly mistakes and weirdness? Just try and find the humor in things. This also helps when you do something dumb or awkward, you can just laugh it off. This can turn a negative situation into something that will make you more relatable and human. Generally, people love to laugh and the easiest way to make others laugh is to laughing oneself.

Neurotic people struggle socially. This is just natural considering most people tend to want to avoid negative things/people.

You sound like someone sensitive to negative emotion, i.e. Neurotic. People like this struggle socially. This is just natural considering most people tend to want to avoid negative things/people.

Mindset

Stuff to talk about

How to talk

1. You don't have to ask questions, and you don't have to follow up on anything. Don't feign interest if you aren't interested. The questions you should ask should be something that will get the person to talk about a subject they find interesting and you find interesting. If it is not something you are interested in then don't ask about it. If you are genuinely curious about something people can sense that and will enjoy your curiosity.

2. Disagreements can create some good conversation. Its interesting and fun to a lot of people to be able to argue a bit. Obviously don't go out of your way to disagree with someone, and don't pick something political/religious, but if a disagreement arrises don't pull back. Lean in a bit. This especially works with sports.

3. Conversation doesn't have to be tennis. As in you don't have to go back and forth, which is what a lot of people do (I speak then you speak). Let them speak and hold your own as well, but the rigidity of a tennis conversation creates interview like conversations.