Timeline for How to respond to "I'm bothering you" when I do think they're bothering me?
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
10 events
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| Sep 1, 2017 at 8:18 | comment | added | OldPadawan | @AllTheKingsHorses : both, I guess, so I try and cut both options :) At the workplace, when I did what you suggest, it's because I already knew it was my last option, and that I was about to leave for greener pastures. I know it has to be like that sometimes, but delay it as much as I can and always look for better alternatives... | |
| Sep 1, 2017 at 7:47 | comment | added | AllTheKingsHorses | @OldPadawan Depends on whether you think your ulcer comes from anger or from suppressing anger to be able to smile (or, latest research results, mostly from bacteria in your stomach). ;-) Particularly in the workplace I've experienced a number of instances where I stopped being nice and let my anger show briefly and suddenly people where willing and able to do what I needed done. To me, anger has its uses, you just can't let it rule you. | |
| Sep 1, 2017 at 6:39 | comment | added | OldPadawan | @insanity : NVZ's answer first paragraph says it better than what I can express. And I agree with you too. That's why, e.g with kids, you let the parents know it's noisy and bothering, but can (better?) offer a way out of this. At the workplace, I don't think you can tell them. You need to grin your teeth and be professional... | |
| Sep 1, 2017 at 5:43 | comment | added | insanity | @AllTheKingsHorses Precisely! I can tell they're waiting to hear the "It's OK". And I don't want to say it, because it's not! | |
| Aug 31, 2017 at 15:35 | history | edited | OldPadawan | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
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| Aug 31, 2017 at 14:30 | comment | added | OldPadawan | @AllTheKingsHorses : because it's better to keep yourself calm, and be nice, even when people bother you soooo much and you'd rather [ put any mean word / action here ]. This way, the stomach ulcer won't catch you early :) but I agree with what you say too. | |
| Aug 31, 2017 at 11:43 | comment | added | AllTheKingsHorses | Somehow, I'm really irked by the "always be nice" parts of the answer. While, of course, it's admirable if someone's always nice, "be nice" is also often used to shut down and ignore legitimate frustration or anger so that someone else can carry one with their rude behaviour. And someone saying "I'm bothering you" may well be just clusmy - but there's some likelihood that they're fishing for the "It's OK!" to go on with their bothering. | |
| Aug 31, 2017 at 10:46 | history | edited | OldPadawan | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
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| Aug 31, 2017 at 10:40 | history | edited | OldPadawan | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
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| Aug 31, 2017 at 10:35 | history | answered | OldPadawan | CC BY-SA 3.0 |