Timeline for How to get spouse to empathetically listen to problems instead of offering solutions?
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
7 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
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| Dec 18, 2018 at 15:57 | comment | added | Ael | Hey, could you add what you told to OP in your last comment into your answer? | |
| Jan 5, 2018 at 15:45 | comment | added | Salvador Ruiz Guevara | Kat, then you should tell him to stop being selfish. He is full filing his own desire to fix things, as i said in my answer, doing that makes us engineers happy. Ask him flat out, what is the purpose of fixing the problem. Helping you or him knowing that he can solve it. He will of course choose the firsts. Then tell him that your real need is him to listen. That you can solve the problem on your own. Of course this is a trap question, but it will reinforce the idea of him listening with his own words. Also, every time he deviates, steer him back into listening mode. | |
| Dec 20, 2017 at 1:39 | comment | added | Kat | I have tried repeatedly to make my desire for him to listen instead of problem solve explicit at the beginning of the conversation, and he flat out refuses. I also have tried telling him the problem solving is making me feel worse, and that listening is what I need to feel better. He thinks it's absurd. Any ideas how to convince him this is a reasonable request? | |
| Sep 8, 2017 at 20:43 | history | edited | Salvador Ruiz Guevara | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
the second paragraph lost the real meaning with the edit.
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| Sep 8, 2017 at 18:20 | history | edited | anongoodnurse | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
clarity
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| Sep 8, 2017 at 17:21 | comment | added | Kat | Interesting perspective. I might have to try the "I need you as my husband and not an engineer" line. It comes across as less critical and more accepting of who he is. | |
| Sep 8, 2017 at 15:55 | history | answered | Salvador Ruiz Guevara | CC BY-SA 3.0 |