Timeline for Girlfriend gets extremely angry over small issues, how can I help her?
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
6 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Aug 14, 2018 at 13:35 | comment | added | Peter | This is not avoidance. It's a boundary. "You are engaging in unacceptable behavior, and I will not be around it." @heapOverflow find a way to exit the situation, perhaps go to a different room. | |
| Sep 11, 2017 at 16:20 | comment | added | Amadeus | @heapOverflow That's okay; your problem just reminded me of my problem, and for me at least I never had any luck with any rational response or sympathetic response, so ... what's left? Fight or flight, and I don't like to fight, so I kind of instinctively chose flight. I suppose you might find a recognizable posture for riding out these little storms (for one example head down, eyes closed, hands folded). Maybe that would serve a similar signal to her that she is "doing it again" and help to shorten or short-circuit the tantrum. But I don't know. | |
| Sep 11, 2017 at 15:51 | comment | added | heapOverflow | I'm not sure this would help me. Her tantrums last no more than a few minutes, sometimes even 1 or 2. After the fact she calms down quite rapidly. I'm not trying to avoid a 30 minutes fight about something, but just a few minutes of craziness in our lives. | |
| Sep 11, 2017 at 3:13 | comment | added | Amadeus | @Darkwing Although an improvisation at the time, in retrospect I think staying was making it worse, and leaving short-circuited the tantrum. One could see this as without me to blame she was forced to stop. Enough times, and she was forced to see it wouldn't "work", she wouldn't get what she wanted by even starting. Perhaps what she wanted was to break up, in which case the relationship was doomed and I did myself a favor by reducing my pain, and her a favor by making her do what she really wanted all along: Ending a relationship in which she was unhappy. Not all issues can be solved. | |
| Sep 11, 2017 at 0:13 | comment | added | Frank Hopkins | This seems like an avoidance strategy rather than a strategy to solve the underlying issue, which might (or might not^^) have contributed to the eventual breakup (not enough context to argue about that and it's not the focus). I would only advise this as a possible short-term solution or coupled with having a talk about the issue when both are calmed down, not to completely ignore the general problem. | |
| Sep 10, 2017 at 23:06 | history | answered | Amadeus | CC BY-SA 3.0 |