Timeline for How can I talk to my boyfriend about chores "sharing"?
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
13 events
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| Sep 21, 2017 at 5:43 | comment | added | Vishnu Dahatonde | @avzula : Sorry for being blunt. But you cannot put everyone else's interest ahead of yours and also expect them to contribute (emotionally/physically) as much as you do. You've to be a bit vocal for your share of things. Luckily you said your partner is understanding and don't mind doing things. Also you can ask of him the same when he has more time than you in future. | |
| Sep 20, 2017 at 10:44 | comment | added | avazula | @AllTheKingsHorses You've got a point here. I'd just outline that I'm the kind of person who puts anyone's comfort before his own. This piece could help understand my problems to approach the issue ;) | |
| Sep 20, 2017 at 10:34 | comment | added | AllTheKingsHorses | @avazula Well, if he wants to help then he shouldn't be offended if he sees how much you do, should he? To be honest, it really sounds like your rational intentions (sharing equitably) and your emotional habits (you putting your boyfriends comfort ahead of your own and him just accepting that as normal) don't match up. | |
| Sep 20, 2017 at 10:29 | comment | added | avazula | @AllTheKingsHorses I understand why you raise this concern but I do not share it. It's not my bf's type: he wants to help. He knows I've been raised by a very traditional family where it's the woman job to do everything and we both agree we don't wanna live that way. | |
| Sep 20, 2017 at 10:21 | comment | added | AllTheKingsHorses | @avazula While agreeing to spend the same time doing chores sounds equitable at first glance, it doesn't give him any incentive at all to do it efficiently. Worst case scenario: he just dawdles around for an hour instead of really cleaning and then you have to pick up his slack in your hour. | |
| Sep 20, 2017 at 9:48 | comment | added | clueless | I just want to note that you may only want to spend the same amount of time for chores, but intensity is a very important factor too. Being exhausted is not only a matter of time spent on a chore, so it will not be fair either. | |
| Sep 20, 2017 at 9:27 | comment | added | avazula | I wouldn't say I want us to do 50% each in terms of quantity, but rather of duration. I know I'm much faster than him for almost all chores so I don't mind doing "more" but it would be great for me to have as much free time as he does. Even if he gets home one hour later, because during that time I do household too, so it's not leisure time. | |
| S Sep 20, 2017 at 9:16 | history | edited | Tinkeringbell♦ | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
Fixed minor grammar errors and phrasing
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| S Sep 20, 2017 at 9:16 | history | suggested | Alina Cretu | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
Fixed minor grammar errors and phrasing
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| Sep 20, 2017 at 9:03 | review | Suggested edits | |||
| S Sep 20, 2017 at 9:16 | |||||
| S Sep 20, 2017 at 9:02 | history | suggested | Secespitus | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
Fixed grammar and formatting
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| Sep 20, 2017 at 8:49 | review | Suggested edits | |||
| S Sep 20, 2017 at 9:02 | |||||
| Sep 20, 2017 at 8:46 | history | answered | Vishnu Dahatonde | CC BY-SA 3.0 |