You decide on a stag party: pick something that can't be corrupted.

I was very happy to have a stag party when I got married. However, like you, I wanted to avoid the traditional "masculine" themes of football, strippers and low-level ritual abuse of the groom. I trusted most of my friends to agree with this, but not all of them.

So instead I decided to so do something that felt masculine to me, but that wasn't open to any kind of misinterpretation. I opted for a weekend of camping and hill walking in the Welsh mountains. I involved the best man in planning this - indeed he did most of it - but I made it clear this was what I wanted, and there was no negotiation. If you didn't like it, you didn't come. I also told him there were certain people we knew who would not get an invite and I was happy with any potential fallout that might result.

We got drunk each night, ate out in local pubs and in the day, climbed the best scenery Wales has to offer. The friends I didn't quite trust hated the first half-day, but in the end confided in me they thought it was way more fun that a weekend slumming in a red light district.

Hiking isn't for everyone, but I tell the story to make a point. You are in control here, and there is no doubt something you can do which appeals to you and which reduces or nullifies the risk of "monkey business". Set your red lines, tell your best man, and take it from there.

You decide on a stag party: pick something that can't be corrupted.

I was very happy to have a stag party when I got married. However, like you, I wanted to avoid the traditional "masculine" themes of football, strippers and low-level ritual abuse of the groom. I trusted most of my friends to agree with this, but not all of them.

So instead I decided to so do something that felt masculine to me, but that wasn't open to any kind of misinterpretation. I opted for a weekend of camping and hill walking in the Welsh mountains, miles away from the nearest strip joint. I involved the best man in planning this - indeed he did most of it - but I made it clear this was what I wanted, and there was no negotiation. If you didn't like it, you didn't come. I also told him there were certain people we knew who would not get an invite and I was happy with any potential fallout that might result.

We got drunk each night, ate out in local pubs and in the day, climbed the best scenery Wales has to offer. The friends I didn't quite trust hated the first half-day, but in the end confided in me they thought it was way more fun that a weekend slumming in a red light district.

Hiking isn't for everyone, but I tell the story to make a point. You are in control here, and there is no doubt something you can do which appeals to you and which reduces or nullifies the risk of "monkey business". Set your red lines, tell your best man, and take it from there.