Timeline for How to ask a new friend about his sexuality?
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
9 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
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| Dec 16, 2018 at 3:41 | comment | added | DaveG | @SalvadorRuizGuevara sexuality is such a basic part of who we are that it's only natural to be curious as to a friend's sexuality, even if it doesn't change the interaction with the friend. | |
| Jan 10, 2018 at 20:53 | comment | added | AmagicalFishy | @Stacey That being said—then why does it come as a surprise that a person is curious about such an apparently big deal? I think the crux of my point is this: Either it's a big deal or it isn't. We seem to be attempting to straddle this weird line, and saying "it's not a big deal so why do you care but also it's super big and personal." | |
| Jan 8, 2018 at 20:46 | comment | added | user6818 | @AmagicalFishy I think that sexual identity is so much more ingrained and personal than favorite colors or movies. It is a massive part of a person's identity and the sad reality of today is that many many people are still very judgemental and unaccepting of LGBT people. It is a big risk for them to expose an incredibly personal part of themselves to the critique and judgement of the world. Would you admit your favourite colour or movie was one that others had openly ridiculed previously? Maybe you would, but how much more painful would that be if it was ingrained as part of your identity? | |
| Jan 8, 2018 at 13:19 | comment | added | AmagicalFishy | @SalvadorRuizGuevara It isn't an important fact—but neither is your friend's favorite color, their most watched movie, or what they think about politically. That's my point: It's not a big deal, so if you're curious, just ask (as you would with any other non-important thing). | |
| Jan 6, 2018 at 17:08 | comment | added | Salvador Ruiz Guevara | But why should sexuality be an important fact for a friend to know. I mean given a situation it could be relevant (i'm going to hook you up with a girl or guy) but in the day to day it should not. "Lets go to out for tacos, a game, concert/fix X stuff", oh no..you are homo/hetero. See the irrelevance in most situations between friends? | |
| Jan 5, 2018 at 19:15 | comment | added | Jess K. | Depending on the persons comfort level with their orientation and with the friendship this could go either way. If a new friend directly asked me if I was gay, I'd immediately want to know "Why are you asking?" If I know you're straight, why do you feel the need to expose that part of my life at your wishes instead of at my own discretion/comfort? It'd put me on edge with the friendship. Why does this person who won't have romantic interest in me care what my orientation is? But I admit, this is the best way to ask if one really must. No beating around the bush. | |
| Jan 5, 2018 at 19:10 | review | First posts | |||
| Jan 5, 2018 at 19:15 | |||||
| Jan 5, 2018 at 19:08 | comment | added | Kendra | " but I've never met any gay person who'd seriously be offended by this." Nor have I. Heteros, however... I've met a good number (men and women!) who would punch someone in the face for this question, even phrased nicely... | |
| Jan 5, 2018 at 19:06 | history | answered | AmagicalFishy | CC BY-SA 3.0 |