Timeline for How can I help my Significant Other to overcome his fear particularly when I don't understand it?
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
12 events
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| Jan 13, 2018 at 1:13 | comment | added | amara | yes! that's my point: this is a general interpersonal rule; it's good advice for >90% of people. but >90% of people encounter general interpersonal rules for which theyre in the <10% of people when theyre bad advice. so ymmvs for them are useful for most people. | |
| Jan 12, 2018 at 23:43 | comment | added | sphennings | @naiad If you're a licensed therapist, ethical concern should prevent you from trying to "fix your partner". It would create an extremely unhealthy power imbalance. Also just think about how that phrase entails that your partner is broken. As a general interpersonal rule, saying that your partner is broken is a no-no. | |
| Jan 12, 2018 at 23:10 | comment | added | amara | there are lots of different kinds of people! we observe that a [fixing your partner] thing exists which is bad, but that doesnt mean that the sentence "don't try to fix your partner" is good for everyone | |
| Jan 12, 2018 at 13:46 | comment | added | sphennings | @naiad Since my answer is basically saying "Don't try to fix your partner." I don't think a YMMV is appropriate. | |
| Jan 12, 2018 at 8:45 | comment | added | amara | i want to add ymmvs to answers like this, like, theyre good advice to the median reader but e.g. if you're both unusually chill about directness it can work & a lot of ppl get dissuaded from trying things bc answers like these tell them bad things will happen | |
| Jan 11, 2018 at 15:50 | comment | added | KRyan | That’s a substantial improvement; yes, the OP him-/herself should not be attempting therapy. I would personally append the statement that therapy is often very effective with phobias to the end of your last line there, but that’s just my opinion. Also, great point about pushing/forcing therapy; added a warning against that in my own answer as well. | |
| Jan 11, 2018 at 15:24 | history | edited | sphennings | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
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| Jan 11, 2018 at 15:23 | comment | added | sphennings | @KRyan The OP can't force their partner to seek therapy, nor should they. If their partner chooses to seek the help of a therapist, this is a solution that I 100% support. If you want to get pedantic I'd argue that even a therapist can't fix the problem but they have the experience to suggest strategies that are likely to be effective for their patient. I've edited the question to suggest that if their partner feels that they need external help that they should seek the services of a licensed therapist. | |
| Jan 10, 2018 at 23:49 | history | edited | sphennings | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
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| Jan 10, 2018 at 19:13 | history | edited | sphennings | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
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| Jan 10, 2018 at 18:57 | review | First posts | |||
| Jan 10, 2018 at 19:01 | |||||
| Jan 10, 2018 at 18:54 | history | answered | sphennings | CC BY-SA 3.0 |