Timeline for How to nicely remind someone to reply to an important message without being rude?
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
18 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Sep 20 at 11:53 | comment | added | Onyz | @Daemons That's exactly what my comment states and is meant to point out. What a strange notification to receive six years later, LOL | |
| Sep 19 at 2:00 | comment | added | DaemonsMercy | @Onyz Really late reply, I know, but phones are literally computers designed to be small enough that they can be carried around in a person’s pocket. Just saying. | |
| Jan 17, 2018 at 8:49 | vote | accept | OmamArmy | ||
| Jan 16, 2018 at 16:12 | comment | added | Martin Bonner supports Monica | @Racheet : Just a word of support. You politely pointed out what the conventions are in your social circle (and that if they were the same in the OP's circle, this would make the answer less appropriate). Some people (me) were quietly surprised; others seemed to believe that because the conventions are different in their circles, you must be mistaken about the conventions in your circle (or that your conventions should change). | |
| Jan 16, 2018 at 14:37 | comment | added | Onyz | @Polygnome Most people where I live don't own phones, they own pocket-computers that are called phones which also happen to coincidentally have the functions of a phone. | |
| Jan 16, 2018 at 12:25 | comment | added | Racheet | @Polygnome I think that's my point, I understood that some people from a different culture would be "boggled", I was trying to explain that different groups of people have different social norms around phone calls. I own a "phone" so I can contact people over hangouts, discord, LINE, twitter and skype without having to carry my desktop computer around with me everywhere. | |
| Jan 16, 2018 at 11:33 | comment | added | user510 | Definitively calling. What I like about messages is that I can respond at my convenience, so people can't expect a response within hours. That is true also of "reminders". If it needs to be handled now, call. | |
| Jan 16, 2018 at 9:36 | comment | added | Polygnome | @Racheet If you think its rude to be called, then why do you own a phone? My mind is boggled. I agree that if you are getting calls all the time its exhausting and annoying. But the occasional phone call shouldn't be upsetting to you. | |
| Jan 15, 2018 at 22:55 | comment | added | mbomb007 | @Racheet I disagree. If someone calls, a person can simply refuse the call and if it's important, they will receive a voice mail. If they didn't want to be disturbed, there are settings for "vibrate" or "silent". | |
| Jan 15, 2018 at 17:25 | comment | added | Racheet | I certainly didn't mean that everyone would be offended to receive a sudden call, but it would certainly be considered an unusual imposition, because the default expectation is that these things are handled asynchronously over IM platforms, and phone or video calls are arranged in advance. | |
| Jan 15, 2018 at 17:24 | comment | added | Racheet | I was responding mostly to @markino saying that they believe that calling is always appropriate because quick calls are "not heavy on the pocket" by trying to explain that in my social context unscheduled calls are inherently rude for reasons unrelated to cost. Sometime's there's a good reason to be a little rude, as perhaps in this case, but one should always be aware that one is making an imposition when they do it. | |
| Jan 15, 2018 at 16:58 | comment | added | Markino | @Racheet that does sound extreme to me too. In this specific case, we're not speaking about calling for something trivial such as "hey wanna chat a bit?" or "hey wanna hang out tonight?", it's rather a serious question that is being asked with some sort of urgency/emergency. Should the question author decide to CALL, clearly his/her intentions are not "being rude", he/she is just trying to deal with a pressing/urgent issue, so it's a NEED. Moreover, I hope you noticed how I recommended the user to APOLOGIZE. | |
| Jan 15, 2018 at 16:45 | comment | added | xDaizu | @Racheet ...wow, that sounds... a bit extreme. I hate phone calls with a passion but I won't get offended if someone calls me once. Is your local social context aware of that little red phone button? It allows you to quickly and almost effortlessly convey the message that you can't pay attention to the call right now. Modern devices even have the option for stock reply messages to be sent when pressing that red phone button. (If they keep calling, and it's not a matter of life&death, I will get annoyed, though) | |
| Jan 15, 2018 at 16:22 | comment | added | Racheet | @Markino in my local social context calling out of the blue without arranging a time via text is always inappropriate. It's not the cost, it's that a phone call demands someone's attention right now, regardless of what they were doing, which is extremely rude when everyone is used to communicating asynchronously. | |
| Jan 15, 2018 at 14:45 | comment | added | Markino | Whatsapp, Facebook messenger, etc. provide free-of-cost voice communication; also, quick phone calls for direct questions and not gossip should not be too heavy on the pocket even if they were intercontinental, so I still believe that calling is always appropriate. | |
| Jan 15, 2018 at 14:34 | comment | added | Skeith | @Jesse If your not comfortable enough to call someone you shouldn't be asking to crash on thier couch. | |
| Jan 15, 2018 at 14:17 | comment | added | Jesse | Love the answer so long as you keep in mind that calling has different implications for different generations. Depending how young OP is, whether calling is best or not may depend a lot on the type of friend they are | |
| Jan 15, 2018 at 9:10 | history | answered | Markino | CC BY-SA 3.0 |