Last summer I met this girl at a festival. I had this almost instant feeling she's perfect girlfriend material. Turns out though that just a few days earlier she'd fallen for another guy at the festival and they ended up going on a trip afterwards. We did however continue chatting and bonding during the rest of the festival, talking about personal things such as relationships and feelings. Afterwards we stayed in touch from time to time checking in on each other. Her relationship with the guy from the festival lasted a few months. When I found out that they'd broken up I didn't see it as an opening for me, instead I felt sad that it hadn't last since I genuinely care for her .
//Last summer While I met this girl at a festivalget that you wanted to interject and ask her about her relationship because you care, avoid doing it. I and other friends of mine have had some very bad experiences doing this almost instant feeling she's perfect girlfriend material. Turns out though that just a few days earlier she'd fallen for another guy at, one of my friends got his date so choked up about the festival and theyex, she ended up going on a trip afterwardsdating him again!. We did however continue chatting and bonding duringSo I state this for two reasons, first off the restnature of the festival, talking about personal things such as relationships can be complex and feelings. Afterwards we stayed in touch from timecould ultimately change the direction of your conversation to time checking infocus on each other. Her relationship withher ex, thereby helping her state of mind focus on him rather than the guy frompotential of your future relationship. The next reason you should avoid it is because it could potentially push you into the festival lasted a few monthsfriend zone if you are too caring and brother like. When I found outyou have more time together maybe you may want to cross that they'd broken up I didn't see it as an opening for mepath, instead I felt sad thatbut until then don't do it hadn't last since I genuinely care for her .//
Fast forward to Christmas and she let's me know she'll be close to my town around New years in case I want to meet up. We end up having a really good day together and it would definitely have been a perfect date if it was one. Anyhow, seeing her again only solidified my feelings towards dating her.
While I get that you wanted to interject and as her about her relationship because you care, avoid doing it. I and other friends of mine have had some very bad experiences doing this, one of my friends got his date so choked up about the ex, she ended up dating him again!.So I state this for two reasons, first off the nature of relationships can be complex and could ultimately change the direction of your conversation to focus on her ex, thereby helping her state of mind focus on him rather than the potential of your future relationship. The next reason you should avoid it is because it could potentially push you into the friend zone if you are too caring and brother like. When you have more time together maybe you may want to cross that path, but until then don't do it. Awesome
I have absolutely no reason to believe that she feels the same way. She's incredibly lovely, both when texting and in person but that's just who she is. Which also is the number one reason I'd like to date her.
//Fast forward Don't assume this, you have a lot to Christmasoffer my friend, realize you set the standard, if you don't speak up nothing will ever happen, you have to be assertive and she let's me know she'll be close to my town around New years in case I wanthonest this is the only way to meet upgo. We end up having a really good day together and it would definitelyIf you want something you have been a perfect date ifto go get it was one. Anyhow, seeing her again only solidified my feelings towards dating hersimple as that, hesitation === death.// You wouldn't want that wonderful person slipping through your hands.
Awesome
I've already decided I need to find out if she's interested and as comments pointed out this is best done face to face. My question is, what is the best way to ask her, ie what phrasing would I use in person? And during what point of the 'date' should I bring it up?
//I have absolutely no reason to believe that she feels the same way. She's incredibly lovely You should give her a call, bothask her when textingshe's free and tell: Hey I am going to take you out somewhere, you'll like when are you free ? find somewhere in person buther town that's just who she is. Which also is the number one reason I'd like to datecool, a nice restaurant or possibly an event that goes on, find somewhere in her.//
Don't assume this, you have a lot to offer my friend, realize you set the standard, if you don't speak up nothing will ever happen, you have to be assertive and be honest this is the only way to go. If you want something you have to go get it, simple as that, hesitation === death. You wouldn't want that wonderful person slipping through your hands.
town that's a beautiful/calm/I've already decided I need to find out if she's interested and as comments pointed out this is best done face to face relaxing place(for after the dinner or a picnic(when it's warm lol)). My question isMaybe a park, whatnear a river, hill etc. This is the best waya good thing to ask herdo, ie what phrasing would I use in person? And during what point of the 'date' shouldI've had great surprise dates when I bring it up?//
You should give her a ring, ask her when she's free and tell: Hey I am going to take you out somewhere, you'll like when are you free ? find somewhere in her town that's cool, a nice restaurant or possibly an event that goes on, find somewhere in her town that's a beautiful/calm/ relaxing place(for after the dinner or a picnic(when it's warm lol)). Maybe a park, near a river, hill etc. This is a good thing to do, I've had great surprise dates when I first began courting my significant other.`first began courting my significant other.`
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Extra info:
We live in different towns and won't be seeing each other in person anytime soon. Although she suggested on more than one occasion for me to come visit and go to an underground club. (She did this as early as the festival so that doesn't mean anything). I also have other friends in her city I could visit and use that as an excuse to meet up with her.
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I wouldn't suggest a club, since there is so much noise and it makes it hard to have a real conversation, unless she really likes dancing, I really like the festival idea if it's out in the open. I like that last part, you can say hey imma be in town and I want to take you somewhere it's a surprise. (refer to my previous answer paragraph)
I'm traveling for 3 monthsI wouldn't suggest a club, still writing with her. No callssince there is so much noise and it makes it hard to have a real conversation, but then againunless she really likes dancing, I never really talk with anyone onlike the phonefestival idea if it's out in the open.
// I like that last part, you can say hey imma be in town and I want to take you somewhere it's a surprise. (refer to my previous answer paragraph)
I'm traveling for 3 months, still writing with her. No calls, but then again I never really talk with anyone on the phone.
Try and call her every so often, towards the end of your travel, so she can get used to your voice, if too much time passes you can lose touch and just become a friend, I have many friends whom have fallen into this trap. Try and call her every so often, towards the end of your travel, so she can get used to your voice, if too much time passes you can lose touch and just become a friend, I have many friends whom have fallen into this trap.
